This is a guy is marrying a woman that had him arrested 2 years ago for domestic violence that she ended up admitting to prosecutors that is was a lie.

Back then he called me collect and said he wants me to bail him out, he got arrested because his gf made up a story and he does not want his family knowing about this. I bailed him out and a few months later he was back with the girl.

I did not even know he got engaged a week ago because I deleted all my social media accounts and yesterday he tried calling me but I was not able to pick up, and a while letter I got a long email of him asking to be the best man at his wedding.

I can decline politely, but a part of me wants to be honest with him now. I wrote an email but I do not know if I should send it.

Dear...

I am honored that you asked me to be the best man at your wedding, and our friendship does indeed span 2 decades.

I think that I prefer being your best man before the wedding. I want to be the one person that instead of cheering you on as you march to your destruction, reminds you who you are about to take as your partner till death do you part.

If my honest email means you never talk to me again, that is perfectly fine. Just remember, I harbor no ill feelings, and you can always reach out to me.

You started dating her 3 years ago, and as you said in your email, you had many ups and downs. You are right, every relationship has its ups and downs, but not all downs are the same.

Your downs with her are downs that nightmares are made up, downs that could have meant that I would be writing you to some prison instead of this email.

Remember, the prosecutors were offering you 2 years plus probation if you plead guilty. The fact that she admitted she lied does not make her someone that cares about you, you have that all twisted. She admitted she lied because she saw the bigger prize, the prize she just got when you gave her that ring.

This is a girl that cheated on you multiple times, and every time she explained that it was your fault, and you accepted that.

You moved in with her less than a year ago and already you stayed over at my place at least 5 times because you wanted to "let things calm down". If you marry her, you can still stay over at my place, I do not judge anyone, this email is me doing my part in knowing that I was honest in warning you to stop destroying yourself. Break things off, and just go on in life.

Every time I told you in the past to cut off the relationship you told me "you think other women are better?" What I know is she is bad news, always has been and always will be, break it off.

When you called me collect you said you are done with her. When I picked you up after the arraignment and posting bail, the drive back I spoke to you about MGTOW and why I choose to live that lifestyle. You laughed, you said it is not the answer. I did not respond, I am not an evangelist looking for people to live a MGTOW lifestyle. But let me ask you, is getting cheated on, getting locked up and running out of your home to sleep at friends house the answer to life you were looking for?

You said your parents are "ecstatic", sure they are, they do now know about the prison time you were facing, the cheating and the late night runs you must do to escape another potential arrest, or worse. Not to mention, we come from the same background, your parents are like my parents, their ego comes before your "long term" happiness, the bragging rights to friends and family that their child got engaged comes before your well being.

I have no doubt that if you continue on it will end in disaster. The only thing I cannot predict is, how big of a disaster.

There is no way that in good conscious I can attend this wedding let alone be the "best man".

You are a good human being, you work hard, a star in your field, that genuinely cares about others. It is unfortunate that those men that are the first to get hurt. Please, for once, take care of your own well being as well.

Sincerely yours, a True friend! Your "before the wedding" best man.