Wanted to share an experience that has left me somehow bitter yesterday.

I ended my LTR a little less than a year ago. It's the first time I have been single and spinning plates, and my self-image hasn't been this good in ages. Abundance mentality really is a thing... having sex with little effort invested, amazing.

Anyway, then I met this girl. She's an actress, HB8. She has tons of followers on instagram, so I was kinda surprised that she was so excited when I asked her out. First date started well. She tells me she has a lot of orbiters, that she sometimes feels she can't have male friends because they always fall in love, etc. I didn't care, the whole time I had AWALT mentallity, treated her as she was nothing special, was cocky-funny, escalated quickly, and kissed her about 20 minutes in. She then told me. "I have to confess something, I don't want something quick... last 2 guys I dated only wanted something quick so I ditched them". At this point, everything was going so well that I though I'd just tell a half truth. "I'm just only seeing whats up, let's flow and not overthink it". She then sat on me and kissed me furiously. Didn't F close but thought was a ver good first date and could F close the 2nd.

For some reason at the 2nd date I started to see her differently. "Damn, this girl is like marriage material, so innocent, and gorgeous, not dumb etc.". And started treating her differently. I think I stopped the AWALT mentaillity without noticing, and lost frame and just "started going with the flow". We went to a bar I like on a third date and there where some friends of mine. One of my friends started telling her that I was a great guy and she's lucky. And she told: "Yeah, I knew that, I could tell very quickly that you are a good guy". Something started bothering me at this point. But she was always kissing me all over so I thought I'd just ignore the comment. We then started to play a game of questions. I asked her what was the best sex of her life.

"I met this guy from Israel some months ago. At first I thought he was going to kill me. I ended having sex with that guy that same day. After that sex I didn't even know what happened I just felt so confused but it was just the best sex of my entire life. He left the city that next morning".

I felt like a total fucking idiot. At some point for some odd reason I thought this girl was different, marriage material. I bought into her frame that she ditched guys who were just in for sex, yet she fucked this guy the first night that she thought he was going to kill her, he pumped and dumped, and was the BEST SEX OF HER LIFE. And I'm here, playing fucking silly games with her, going out to the theater on a third date, knowing her for about a month, her treating me lovingly as a boyfriend, and me "waiting for sex because she is special". Basically hiding my intentions. Fuck that. Fuck that. Fuck that-.

AWALT guys. Even this girl, who she told me she ditched every friend, every orbiter... who told me she didn't like something quick. Who seems like a unicorn, gets pumped and dumped by Chad, and not only pumped and dumped by Chad, she believes it was the GREATEST SEX OF HER LIFE. You know what that means? If this guy was around, I would probably be the guy with the boyfriend treatment while some other chad is pumping her. And maybe even now I am. Never lie to yourself. Be true to what you want. It will end up better. Don't hide your feelings because "She is special". She is not.

TL;DR: Met this girl that I thought was different. She was sweet, said she didn't want something quick, she was gorgeous. Ended up treating her differently and "waited for sex". She then tells me the best sex of her life basically was with some guy that just pumped and dumped her, while I'm dating her and having the boyfriend treatment, because I believed that she was different and she "wasn't like that". She is. Fuck that. AWALT.