(Throwaway because she knows my username).

I met up with an old friend today. She’s an awesome girl and pretty attractive (around a 7). She’s always been the extremely smart, endearingly innocent, slightly weird nerdy girl. She hung out with the outcasts and has an amazing sense of self-awareness for a female. She dated this 3/10 hella geeky dude all of high school and showed him off like a trophy. We all loved her. She was “different”.

She shocked everyone when she started hanging out with this stud of a dude. He wasn’t too much above her; I’d say he had a point on her. Still, you know the 80/20 rule. He was an 8/10 meaning the top 20% meaning he got anyone he wanted. So, there she was, going from a dude way below her smv to a dude above it. Not to mention, she still had her shy, nerdy, slightly awkward mannerisms while he was confident and smooth. People wondered how she got him.

The moment I saw her today, I knew she went through some shit. I could see it in her eyes- she was NOT the same girl. We got to talking and I asked her if she was seeing anyone. Her response was weird to say the least. Something like “Nope and I probably never will again.” I asked why and she BROKE DOWN. Literal sobbing. She basically said that she was broken and completely lost her ability to love.

After things with the alpha ended (it’s been a year), she’s not been able to even be attracted to other men. She said she’s gone on many dates, trying her damnedest to move on but basically, no one could compare to him. She said she hates herself for feeling this way because “he’s not even a good person” and didn’t treat her all that great but he has a hold on her that cannot he broken. She told me she considers suicide daily because she can’t imagine being truly happy ever again.

I watched this girl, this once super intelligent, pure-hearted, quirky girl look extremely broken and hopeless over a not-even-a-year-long thing with a guy above her smv.