Has anyone also thought all of their exes were HVM until they found this sub?

AceTabby00 · 2020-12-08T15:08:14+00:00

"If he wanted to, he would" especially was a wake up call for me.

keep_my_stuff · 2020-12-08T15:00:59+00:00

Yes, i thought he was the only one that ever loved me and treated me right 🤡 and tragically things did not work out, strictly because of personality differences. Now the clown makeup is off!

lhatw · 2020-12-08T17:50:49+00:00

I’d have “butterflies” that I would just pass off as having intense feelings for them. It was actually my body’s fight or flight response to the constant confusion and uncertainty I would feel. This sub was a WAKE UP CALL to get out.

Proud-Purpose · 2020-12-08T19:33:53+00:00

Modern society strategically raises women to be naive about dating or men, which is glamorized as "romantic". Many women are extremely averse to any sort of sexual pragmatism because of this and their inherent predisposition towards guilt. They will instinctively agree with FDS, but then engage in self-denial to protect the feel-good Disney fantasy they've been instilled with. Men, however, are taught to perfect their "game". This serves no purpose other than artificially "equalizing" sexual opportunity.

Few people know that there were fewer Disney delusions in the old days. It's because there was no practical need for them - men could gain reproductive access entirely through material pressure. Today, this mechanism is replaced with elaborate manipulation and cultural pressure - most cultures shift towards this as they become more progressive.

Male behavior is entirely adaptive, utilizing both brute force and emotional manipulation to the same end, depending on what's more effective in any given environment. Take a male beetle's pincers off and his sexual strategy will switch from rape to gift giving. Human males are no different - it s why I don't believe in "masculinity", only maleness. The only constant you can count on in male behavior is that everything they do revolves around reproduction.

The effect you're describing is due to enforced oneitis that women are encouraged to submit to. Once again, it serves no other purpose than to keep your bar artificially low so betas have a shot. If you're too hyperfocused on one male at a time, and too guilt-ridden to analyze their behavior, you will never know what's actually "HV".

BetterToBeLonely · 2020-12-08T15:40:10+00:00

No. This place just validates what I felt all along.

Fearlessfell · 2020-12-08T15:55:43+00:00

Some of them, yes. One of them I think was still LV but my pickmeshia ways really pushed him away. I’m glad still because he wasn’t great but him leaving me gave me the strength I needed to change.

BlondeBeginning · 2020-12-09T02:30:49+00:00

I thought one of my exes was a HVM because he wasn’t outright abusive like my others. Reading FDS made me how little effort he put into the relationship (... and his life). “If he wanted to, he would” was a huge wake up call for me. The bar was on the floor.

DV_throwaway19675 · 2020-12-08T19:34:34+00:00

No, every time I've dumped an ex (and yes, I dumped them all) it's becuase I had already lost respect for them becuas of their LV behavior. So this sub is more like finding some like minded people.

princessofthekingdom · 2020-12-08T16:01:43+00:00

Sadly, yes.

PrivyPal · 2020-12-08T23:11:23+00:00

[deleted]

Sage_Planter · 2020-12-08T21:51:54+00:00

No, I knew some of my exes were LVM or NVM. They had obvious big red flags (which I sometimes chose to ignore).

BUT.

There are some other exes who I thought were HVM who in hindsight are not. Their problems were muddle shades of grey, and FDS taught me that "no, that's actually a LVM."

emtoots · 2020-12-09T02:08:30+00:00

Not overlooking LVM behaviors bc he does some sweet things. I had one ex that I thought highly of because he would do sweet things when we were together, like get me another beer and show affection attention in front of his friends. I broke up with him because he showed up 20 minutes late for dinner to meet my parents then closed the door in my face on Valentine’s day bc I wouldn’t have sex with him (we’d been dating for like two months). Still thought of him as a good guy despite it bc he was ✨nice.✨🤮 (until this sub, of course!)

frogchickenhorse · 2020-12-09T04:04:51+00:00

No, I knew they were all trash. It’s why I have long periods of singledom

devoushka · 2020-12-09T09:20:23+00:00

I knew they were all LVM except for one.

FDSxMuffinVSrat · 2020-12-09T18:39:44+00:00

I'm still conflicted about one of my exes.

He had literally every HV trait mentioned on this subreddit and then he cheated.

He had a few LV traits as we but it wasn't very obvious. Like, he was inconsistent with working out. Or, he was insecure about his hair loss.

But everything about him while we were together was great. I was spoiled endlessly.

Title	Has anyone also thought all of their exes were HVM until they found this sub?
Author	PrivyPal
Upvotes	175
Comments	24
Date	December 8, 2020 2:05 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k94q29/has_anyone_also_thought_all_of_their_exes_were/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/has-anyone-also-thought-all-of-their-exes-were-hvm.620340 https://theredarchive.com/post/620340

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