I'm struggling. I'm a bitch.
6'0 180lb. 29. 1st year marriage. Together 6.
My wife is awesome now. She used to be a bitch but then she went to therapy. She overcame things that have been giving us problems for 5 years. I had oneitis for a long time, and just when I got over it and began seeing what's around she goes and fixes all the shit wrong with her. She's been exercising and is fitter, nicer, and smarter. I know the neighbors are circling like sharks and I dont want them fucking my wife. I know i need to improve.
I read the sidebar. Rational Man. 16 laws of Poon. And watched YT vids. Began pushups (5x30), pullups (5 x 10) and running (5 miles 1 hr a day). I made a MAP. But I still can't STFU.
It's difficult to internalize right now. To make it worse I've been gaming my wife for a week but she initiated sex with me after I told her about my emotions. She may be manipulating me but i think she may just be into emotional stuff. She's really close to her dad and her dad is an ultra fag that calls her every 2 hours and vents to her. I'm jealous of the attention she gives him when he vents to her. I used to constantly vent to her but now that I've withdrawn she seemed to get turned on when I game her then rely on her emotionally as well a little.
If I get therapy and the dude teaches me how to internalize, is that cutting corners? I dont want to reinvent the wheel but I also don't want to cheat on homework and fail the test. I have been withdrawing from her and trying to internalize for about a month now and have kind of plateau with how I can deal with shit. I don't currently have anyone to replace her with my emotional problems and have been trying to internalize and rely on myself but am having difficulty. Now coworkers and family members are asking if I'm okay which to me is worse than when my wife asks if im okay. I know im a bitch and should be self reliant.