Is therapy cheating?

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April 21, 2020

I'm struggling. I'm a bitch.

6'0 180lb. 29. 1st year marriage. Together 6.

My wife is awesome now. She used to be a bitch but then she went to therapy. She overcame things that have been giving us problems for 5 years. I had oneitis for a long time, and just when I got over it and began seeing what's around she goes and fixes all the shit wrong with her. She's been exercising and is fitter, nicer, and smarter. I know the neighbors are circling like sharks and I dont want them fucking my wife. I know i need to improve.

I read the sidebar. Rational Man. 16 laws of Poon. And watched YT vids. Began pushups (5x30), pullups (5 x 10) and running (5 miles 1 hr a day). I made a MAP. But I still can't STFU.

It's difficult to internalize right now. To make it worse I've been gaming my wife for a week but she initiated sex with me after I told her about my emotions. She may be manipulating me but i think she may just be into emotional stuff. She's really close to her dad and her dad is an ultra fag that calls her every 2 hours and vents to her. I'm jealous of the attention she gives him when he vents to her. I used to constantly vent to her but now that I've withdrawn she seemed to get turned on when I game her then rely on her emotionally as well a little.

If I get therapy and the dude teaches me how to internalize, is that cutting corners? I dont want to reinvent the wheel but I also don't want to cheat on homework and fail the test. I have been withdrawing from her and trying to internalize for about a month now and have kind of plateau with how I can deal with shit. I don't currently have anyone to replace her with my emotional problems and have been trying to internalize and rely on myself but am having difficulty. Now coworkers and family members are asking if I'm okay which to me is worse than when my wife asks if im okay. I know im a bitch and should be self reliant.

Post Information
Title Is therapy cheating?
Author bourgie_quasar_rune
Upvotes 9
Comments 40
Date 21 April 2020 02:19 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:

[–]RoccoPinkman23 points24 points  (4 children) | Copy

I initially thought you were just trolling but your other posts are pretty gay too so I’m going to take this seriously.

OP posted the following in relationships.

I feel like I’m always walking on eggshells and accommodating her to make her happy

Put your self first. Putting aside your own needs in favour of hers is not attractive.


I: You have the right to judge your own behavior, thoughts, and emotions, and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon yourself

II: You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses for justifying your behavior

III: You have the right to judge if you are responsible for finding solutions to other people’s problems

IV: You have the right to change your mind

V: You have the right to make mistakes—and be responsible for them

VI: You have the right to say, “I don’t know.”

VII: You have the right to be independent of the goodwill of others before coping with them

VIII: You have the right to be illogical in making decisions

IX: You have the right to say, “I don’t understand.”

X: You have the right to say, “I don’t care

You have the right to do all of the above and not feel guilty about it.

it turns into a huge deal every time I put my foot down and try to do something I want

This is because you have zero frame and she doesn’t give a shit about your needs or desires, why would she, you don’t even care about them enough yourself, you’d rather put them aside to make a woman happy, the only thing is, it doesn’t it has the opposite effect.

We’re both unhappy right now but we want a better future when we’re married. Would we be happier with other people or would any relationship evolve into this eventually?

Bro seriously you need to read the fucking sidebar, no relationship is going to evolve naturally from this shit show to marital bliss, her lack of respect disgust for your beta behaviour will only grow.

You gamed her for a week? Come on man who wants to be gamed by a career beta with zero frame, who’s asking Internet strangers for permission on who to live his life, get your shit together your a man aren’t you?

[–]admlawson0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I definitely learned something here. Thanks!

[–]Chump_No_More3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

The 'Assertive Bill of Rights' is from 'When I Say No, I Feel Guilty', by Dr. Manuel Smith.

It's in the sidebar, so buy the book.

[–]admlawson1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Awesome - I missed that. I’ll definitely order the book.

[–]admlawson0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve been listening to this on Audible. Thank you for the recommendation. It’s been absolutely impactful in my life.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

She went to therapy, now she feels better, got herself fit and is dressing better.

The question isn't "is therapy cheating?", it's, "is she cheating with the therapist?".

[–]part_wolf21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

I love this comment, but I’m not in love with this comment.

[–]weakandsensitive19 points20 points  (2 children) | Copy

Wouldn't the question be "Is Therapy Effective?"

[–]tspitsatgp12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

I thought he was going down a totally different mind-boggling path on first read of the title.

[–]redwall922 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're not the only one.

[–]FoxShitNasty8311 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't talk to your woman about your feelings talk to the iron instead. Pull-ups... What's wrong with you

[–]IATAsshole-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is supposedly this virus going around, can't remember the name, something similar to a beer or something.

They're even closing down gyms, restaurants, even whole businesses.

What a bunch of pussies, they should seriously have a therapy session with the iron!

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's nothing wrong with expressing emotions; nobody loves a robot. But you must express your emotions like a man.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

I don't currently have anyone to replace her with my emotional problems

You do this with men, not women. This is Sidebar 101 information, so I doubt you read the sidebar.

Why would therapy be cheating? I don’t even understand why you would ask this question.

[–]bourgie_quasar_rune[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I didn't want to get cucked. But now I see trusting her instead of other men increases my chances of getting cucked.

[–]redwall922 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

He UNDERSTANDS guys. Wrap it up. Problem solved.

We're done here!

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck me those pushup stats are amazing.

How much Tren you on and how much do I need to be able to follow your greatness?

[–]tom-anonymous6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

It depends on the type of therapy. Couple therapy is a waste of time. Cognitive behavioral therapy on the other hand is something every man should learn. If they can't learn it on their own, then seeking the help of a therapist who specializes in this helps for sure.

Cognitive behavioral therapy helps faggots challenge their circular thoughts that sabotage them and make them constantly think and worry like a faggot.

[–]ancient_resistanceShit coming out my eyeballs4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

she initiated sex with me after I told her about my emotions. She may be manipulating me but i think she may just be into emotional stuff.

She's not. She may think she is for a minute, but no woman is sexually attracted to an emotional man for long.

I'm jealous of the attention she gives him when he vents to her.

You have validation needs left over from childhood. You need your mom/dad to listen to you, they probably never did, and now you've projected that need on to your wife.

I don't currently have anyone to replace her with my emotional problems and have been trying to internalize and rely on myself but am having difficulty.

Therapy with a competent male is the right choice.

[–]tightsleeves4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are confusing 'withholding emotions' and 'STFU'

STFU is not spilling your emotional baggage on her to carry for the rest of the day.

Having emotions are normal and real. But what caused those emotions MIGHT not be real. The more in-tune you are with yourself the quicker you will realize when the emotions you are feeling are real, or some conjured up feeling because of a badly analysed interaction with someone. So therapy might help.

Your wife doesnt want to take your emotions and deal with them... and yes she is throwing you pitty pussy. You must be some boring dude for your girl to spend 2 hours a day on the phone with her dad..... If she felt she was missing something she would cut her dad off much quicker than 2 hours.

[–]part_wolf2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m struggling. I’m a bitch.

This is the only thing I needed to read.

Stop thinking about your wife all the time. Read the sidebar. Learn to pass shit tests. Lift heavy. Shut the fuck up and own your shit.

Do all of those things for six months before you ask for any advice about your wife. You’re not ready for those answers.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe look into estrogen therapy?

[–]rightsided1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you want more than superficial change I, personally, feel that deep and lasting results can only be attained through engaging with self and that takes time. All other resources are helpful by assisting you through the process, including MRP, therapy, sidebar, etc.

[–]Chump_No_More1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, therapy is not cheating. No man is an island and asking for help is not weakness, it's a sign of strength in ego, but who you ask will make all the difference.

When an infidelity put me on the path to wisdom, I found a therapist who taught me 'how to fish', with regards to establishing Frame and an abundance mindset.

The man was not 'red-pilled' (retired Methodist minister with a PhD in Psychology), but he had developed a keen understanding of how people worked. He was appreciative of the simple wisdom in RP praxeology, which we often discussed as I was processing it.

As much as I credit the RP with saving my life after being zero-ed out, I give my therapist equal credit.

The journey to wisdom (which, btw, ends when you're dead) is found on many roads and from many messengers.

[–]wkndatbernardus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The road out of faggville and emotional dependance on your wife begins with excercise. You need less cardio (jogging), and more lifting. If you don't have a home gym, body weight exercises can work but you need to hit it hard like you're in prison and preparing for the next riot when the shanks come out. Don't slack on leg day either. Gonna be hard to get bulky with only calesthenics but, at least you can get cut. Strenuous training will deliver you from the emotional reliance you have on your wife.

Also, why do u care if your FiL is talking to her all the time? I'd be stoked that I don't have to listen to her nonsense as much. You should buy that guy a bottle of Scotch for jumping on the grenade...preferably an older Balvenie.

[–]TheBlockedUser3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

So you are getting cucked by your own father-in-law?

[–]pssiraj3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

What are you doing father-in-law?

[–]TheBlockedUser6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm helping them save this lesbian relationship.

2 women who can't stop talking about their fucking feelings.

[–]bourgie_quasar_rune[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Yes. I'm getting cucked because he vents to her every 2 hours and she gives him all of this attention. Every time I withhold my emotions and STFU she runs to her daddy so he can emotionally regurgitate on her.

[–]ancient_resistanceShit coming out my eyeballs1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

gives him all of this attention

She gives it to him because you aren't worth paying attention to. You're her husband, not her fucking child. You're supposed to lead and protect her, not use her as your emotional tampon.

Shut the everloving fuck up around her. Save your feelings for a journal and a male therapist. Get to the bottom of your childhood shit and man the fuck up. Get over your ego and get help.

[–]TheBlockedUser0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That is getting cucked bud...

[–]The_LitzRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No brother, you are not being cucked. She is just humouring him. If he didn't call she would be relieved.

You are craving her attention. Any attention. Get over the need for the validation that she gives you and you might stand a chance.

Now the hard part, how? Therapy is good for certain things, and totally shit for others. If you have real mental disorders therapy is essential. But if you are going to ask a therapist to help you because you are being a pussy, the chances are you will get a hug and be told if you want to be more attractive to your wife you need toe be a bigger fag than your FIL.

Seek the reason why you need external validation.

[–]iwillruletheworldkjh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well, the fact that living with her is giving you all those bad emotions is a big red flag. Means that she isn't affectionate probably. You can become a damn jacked alpha robot, but the moment you need her, will she be supportive?

Ask yourself: do you want her for the rest of your life? Except for her holes, do you like her way of treating you? If not, probably she's not "the one"

Better leave now than after getting a child

Edit: ps. Therapy is an awesome tool, if you find the right doctor

[–]Tyred_Biggums0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As someone who was in and out of therapy for 19 years... MRP, lifting, sidebar, STFU helped me more than any therapy. Therapy was useful in being able to spew emotional faggot shit out during the process as well as objectively looking at events and situations.

Find a good therapist and they may assist you in the process. But it’s not cheating and they’re not going to fix you - only you can do that.

[–]Smuggler-Tuek0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m going to ignore the rest of your super cringey post and answer the question about therapy. Therapy has its place and works well IF you find a good therapist. There are some things that do need a professional to treat. I’ll give you an example. After my wife’s affair 2 years ago I crumbled mentally. I was an emotionally unstable mess and it was persisting with no end in sight. I was in therapy every week. After about a year of therapy I finally got to a point where I had rationally moved to a healthy point but my emotions wouldn’t settle. I underwent a deep relaxation / hypnosis session with one goal, get my mind to relax. I had gone through 12 months of my mind in crisis mode but through that session i finally calmed down. It was like pushing a reset button. I hadn’t felt calm or relaxed in what seemed like forever but it worked. After that working on improving myself came at a much faster pace. Several months later I was able to end therapy and only go back every six months or so (although now I can’t imagine needing to go back). I was at a very severe level of emotional problems, so keep that in mind, but yes with the right therapist it can be immensely helpful.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I can't believe nobody's said it yet - lift heavy shit, faggot. You've probably got decent arms, shoulders and chest from pull-ups and push-ups... But those fucking bird legs - running 5 miles is all they get? Your calories should be directed to building muscle, not wasted on running.

[–]bourgie_quasar_rune[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You gotta guest swipe at your gym cuz mine and all those within a 2 hour radius have been closed for a month. If not can I come use your power rack with 400 lbs of plates in your basement?

I know taking shit and not making excuses is part of developing but serious question- where are you all "lifting heavy weights" right now? I would honestly love to get back to the gym and do that.

[–]Massive-Plate1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Home depot, 5 gallon buckets, cement.

Buy 4 cinderblocks to stand on.

Buy a tie down strap.

Strap those buckets and squat.

[–]converter-bot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

400 lbs is 181.6 kg

[–]Massive-Plate0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She started the gym, and looking good, and is happy, from therapy?


She's fucking someone for sure, or thinking about someone for sure.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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