The Pro-Choice Man vs Pro-Life Man Debate

suzumerricat · 2020-06-13T20:27:49+00:00

If their reasons are rooted in misogyny, it doesn't matter which side they are on. Obviously it would be preferable to go with men who have a compatible ideology, but it would be a mistake to assume that they would automatically be a better father or partner solely for that reason.

It's not clear cut because misogyny is multifaceted. There are so many unique ways to hate women that it would be impossible to sort out who has the moral high ground in a debate that ultimately doesn't impact them. It is incredibly easy to weigh in on a position when you're never in danger of having to face the consequences.

KTaeH · 2020-06-13T22:02:51+00:00

I don’t believe any man who is Pro-Life has the interest of women at heart.

As a reminder, being pro-life means that you believe abortion should be illegal. Being pro-choice doesn’t mean that you personally wish to have an abortion or that you 100% condone it morally. Just that you believe it should be legal.

Teenage pregnancy is one of the main things that lead women to poverty. Women who have access to birth control are mor financially successful. Very educated & professionally successful women have kids late (and less of them). Women, even in the US in 2020, can die from giving birth and go through complications.

Men who are pro-life believe that women shouldn’t have the right to abort even when raped, even when poor, even when they’re 15, even when the dad left them, even when they’re mentally ill. It is not in the interest of the woman. Not even the child’s.

Pro-choices men can be pro-choice for selfish reasons. Maybe they don’t want to be a dad and will gladly force their gf to abort when needed. Those are scum. But at least they’re not taking the choice away from all the other women. And the worst thing is that many pro-lifers will gladly ask their mistresses to abort because they actually don’t care about morals when it applies to them.

I will never date a pro-lifer . I can consider dating a pro-choice ma who is morally against abortion.

RadarFemef · 2020-06-14T00:41:13+00:00

Pro-choice is the only acceptable answer. Because anyone can choose not to have an abortion, but trying to prevent other people from access to abortion is inhumane and unacceptable. Pro-choice does not mean pro-abortion.

vowelsareimportant · 2020-06-14T02:24:06+00:00

I would only date someone pro-choice since I know I’d have an abortion if I found out there was something wrong with the fetus. I don’t think I’d have one otherwise, since I actually really want another baby.

But I do have a vetting thing in regards to men and abortions other than that. It’s a big red flag to me if I date someone whose ex aborted one of their fetuses.

I have dated two men that had women decide to abort after they knocked them up. I’ve read some stories from women who have had abortions and it takes a lot for a woman to make that decision and the father is a big factor. I feel like a woman in a relationship with a good provider, who would be a good father, would be really unlikely to have an abortion. If someone else didn’t think you were daddy material over the age of like 18, I’m going to pass.

valsavana · 2020-06-13T21:43:27+00:00

Pro-choice 100%. Being pro-choice is about respecting and protecting a woman's right to control her own body and I don't think a man can be a good husband or father (to a daughter, at least) without believing in that. To me, it's an extension of things as obvious as pro-sex-with-consent.

JaneIsaPain · 2020-06-14T06:26:33+00:00

I grew up around many pro life men including my abusive ex. I was very much Catholic in my youth and have since distanced myself. I know the type of pro life man very very well.

Pro-life men fundamentally do not understand women. If they are good men, they dont realise that other men are not and this is the last resort for women whose lives will be ruined by a unwanted pregnancy. It indicates a lack of empathy and critical thinking.

Pro-choice men can be too liberal and shirk any sexual responsibility, sometimes even encouraging abortions so long as they do not need to wear a condom. But I have met more pro choice men who understand the plight of women better than pro life men.

fiercefinance · 2020-06-14T10:57:04+00:00

First of all, it's anti-abortion, not pro-life. Second, any man who even hints at a desire to control women's bodies is a complete hard no from me.

gcthrowaway2019 · 2020-06-13T21:18:35+00:00

How do you feel about the religious reason? My thing is that reason could be considered halfway valid but every man I know who uses that excuse is also totally ok with premarital sex, sodomy (oral sex is sodomy too), capital punishment, etc.

sallyjrw · 2020-06-13T22:44:04+00:00

[deleted]

PeopleareCute · 2020-06-14T05:49:08+00:00

Okay this might be unnecessary but I love my guy's approach on this issue. He is pro choice but he also holds a deep reverence for life and wouldn't want to cause an abortion to be needed. So he is impeccably committed to safe sex practices- he's the only man I've been with who literally never tries to push boundaries on that front. On the flip side, he has made it clear that while he would accept full responsibility for any child we might inadvertently conceive together (even if I didn't want to he has said he would be all right parenting solo), he also respects that it is my body, not his, that would have to carry the baby and thus the decision is ultimately mine.

My standard for sex partners going forward is "respects the sanctity of life and the full burden of responsibility/consequences that come with sexual activity without debating my bodily autonomy"

ninetiesbaby16 · 2020-06-13T20:55:08+00:00

Well I don’t think I can deal with an abortion and I definitely wouldn’t want one, I know myself enough that I would be haunted the rest of my life. My whole life I’ve wanted to be a mom and have thought extensively about what I would do if a surprise happened (I don’t like thinking of babies as accidents), and I think I would accept the child despite bad timing in its arrival in my life, but if the timing was so disastrous and my situation terrible I would want to provide an infertile couple the chance for a child.

So I wouldn’t want a guy shirking his responsibilities and bullying me into termination, I would want a guy that pulls himself together, steps up to the plate and is like “how can we make this work, what can I do to support you, sure it’s sooner than I expected but let’s make this an adventure together:” that to me just sounds so incredibly masculine (and probs a bit naively idealized of me to expect that from a man lol). I would have a hard time respecting a man that freaks out, whines, mopes and wants to be let off the hook. I also think I wouldn’t have sex with a man unless I was sure that it was someone I could raise a baby with (I know that doesn’t completely protect you, a lot of women get screwed over by men they trusted in), but I would definitely have a conversation about what would happen if he got me pregnant and what he thinks being a father entails, watch how he talks about single moms and other people who have had surprise pregnancies (ie stuff about baby trapping, financial abortions, child support is theft etc are all brightly red flags).

I know a few pro-life guys that really love and respect women, but also pro-lifers that hate women...I’ve never come across a pro-choice dude that wasn’t in it just because he thinks that’s what women want to hear. In my experience pro choice guys are slimy, manipulative and creepy.

xx_power · 2020-06-14T13:02:46+00:00

The only pro life man I can excuse is the one who is clueless because of oppressive religious upbringing and who immediately changes his opinion upon talking to a woman about the subject. This happened to me irl and I respect this man a lot for listening to reason and actually changing his mind. Every other pro life man imo belongs in the trash.

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Title	The Pro-Choice Man vs Pro-Life Man Debate
Author	TheOGJammies
Upvotes	26
Comments	43
Date	June 13, 2020 7:44 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/h8ea5f/the_prochoice_man_vs_prolife_man_debate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-pro-choice-man-vs-pro-life-man-debate.673727 https://theredarchive.com/post/673727

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