What act of leveling up are you proudest of, & why?

Namtara · 2020-03-27T21:03:17+00:00

When my family told me to quit school during the last recession, I kept going.

I had just finished undergraduate at the same time I'd had a cancer scare. While it wasn't cancer, I had to have immediate surgery to remove a tumor. By the time I was able to work, the economy was terrible, and I couldn't find a decent job. I juggled minimum wage work and getting a certificate (only a few months of work) to break into a competitive field.

My family insisted that I was wasting my time. I was the only one who went to college and actually finished. Since even I couldn't get a good job, they argued that I was proof that college was a scam. They said they'd stop helping me (rides to/from work at times, helping each other with meals/cleaning, etc.) if I didn't quit. I didn't have a car at the time. I had barely enough money to rent and eat, let alone do anything else.

So I did it myself. My biggest bills were rent, food, and my bus pass; I had about $50 left over each month, and most of that was to pay for a prepaid phone and laundry. I walked everywhere that I couldn't get to by bus. I stretched my food budget as much as possible.

I got my certificate. I got the job I wanted. My income went to a little more than double.

Sometimes quitting is a good idea. But don't quit just because someone stops believing in you. You don't need anyone to believe in you. They just need to stay out of your way.

Saitschik · 2020-03-27T18:28:16+00:00

It has nothing to do with dating but I leveled up and pursued the goal of becoming an artist. I am not naturally super gifted in painting and especially drawing but I wanted this free and creative lifestyle and I wanted to learn how to express myself through art. So I practiced a lot, improved my skills and am quite successful today. Grew a following on Instagram and it's getting better and better. I think I will reach the point of becoming a full-time Artist in a not so far future.

With my skills my confidence grew. I am a trauma surviver, an introvert and shy, in the past I was quitter. At the beginning I had a racing heart when I posted some of my work. Nowadays I am doing well.

mythicalnebula · 2020-03-27T21:25:13+00:00

Letting go of the fear of missing out on someone and focusing on myself and school.

blackopium777 · 2020-03-27T20:14:50+00:00

Besides getting my Bachelor in Psychology, it's probably having built a really successful business as a MUA. Back when I was in high school, I was a "problem child" and my teachers thought that I would end up in a low paying job because they thought I was lazy. I wasn't lazy, I just had a problem with authorities. Now I can say that I accomplished something that alot of people never would've thought of.

Also being good enough to make money out of something I actually like is so empowering! It was alot of hard work to get where I am now and I am really proud to have that!

ironymaiden87 · 2020-03-27T21:56:20+00:00

It's a little vain maybe but I'm most proud of all the weight I've lost over the past few months, which I initially gained during a miserable relationship. I picked up swimming and would go every day for an hour. Obviously I can't now because of the lockdown but I'm going for big walks instead, otherwise my mental health will suffer. Swimming was my calm, happy, meditative time.

I'm also proud of myself for sticking it out with therapy even though it's very expensive. I think that and FDS have helped me to not get super upset when someone treats me badly - instead of reacting, I just walk away.

If this lockdown had happened last year I reckon I'd be a total mess. But all the work I did, and am still doing, is definitely paying off now.

Loonietoons933 · 2020-03-27T20:33:08+00:00

Went back to university to get a degree in IT. Having a high value IT job on the side. Calling my boyfriend out on his crap and making him do the work. :) knowing my own boundaries and working on constant self improvement. And really proud of breaking up with an narcissistic ex who was abusive despite him trying to offer me a car and a horse to stay with him and he was soooooo sorry and would neveeeer do it again. (Yeah right) And the last time I saw him he asked for a hug and i said "nope" and slammed the door in his face. Felt pretty good. Been in no contact with that PoS since then. I blocked him everywhere. Made me feel strong.

Cutting out my toxic NMom from my life and having no contact at the moment since she is abusive. Setting my boundaries with her and standing strong.

ghygdryhchmmmmjj · 2020-03-27T20:52:18+00:00

Career move, getting my credit score back to great! I have a bit to go still but I'm actually creating a future for myself now where I can be independent

tellmesomething11 · 2020-03-27T19:15:38+00:00

Being the first to get my Masters in my family was great. But the real leveling up was when I got the job I wanted, after 5 years of strategizing, getting high level education and certificates and then getting promoted at said job after two years.

I’m seriously living my best life right now🙌🏼

2020-03-27T19:29:31+00:00

Dumped every negative-value person in my life -- including members of my family of origin -- and, in conjunction with that, got into therapy to stop feeling bad about putting myself first. The positive effects have continued to reveal themselves in my physical health, my general contentment, my ability to learn, the quality of my work...

catsuramen · 2020-03-27T23:47:00+00:00

I politely said "fuck you" to my abusive boss and found myself a better job environment with better pay, that invest in ME and respect my boundaries.

Did it without crying and drama, just match on through and never looked back.

Stopped feeling sorry for myself. Stopped justifying this is right or wrong. Just do what is best for myself. Empowerment is a great thing

2020-03-27T20:30:33+00:00

Probably regrowing a backbone and deciding that I want to be treated with reciprocal respect, and that I don't have to keep people around who don't do that. I'm not dating now, but this was especially important for me to do with my female BFF from uni, who almost never kept our appointments timely (late and/or calling the next day to reschedule), and I would always forgive her because "hey, she's just careless, nothing you can do, but she's helped you a lot with other things". I was once upon a time too uptight, then I was too lenient, but now I feel that I have found a healthy balance.

Scheduling instead of meeting or chatting whenever I or the other person felt like it is really the definitive way to go for me, because when I didn't do that I would always be the one initiating anything out of sheer nervousness, and it was usually over initiating. Turns out I just wanted to get the planning over and done with, so I could move my thoughts to other things. So, yay! I understand myself better!

I definitely had a problem with pathological loyalty and religious philosophy (always turn the other cheek), despite not being raised in a theologically religious household. But now I realise that A) if a person breaks their promise to you, you no longer have to keep your promise to them and B) In much knowledge there is much excitement and fun - not suffering!!!

2020-03-28T00:27:19+00:00

I had this issue where I swing back and forth between a pendulum of "not giving a shit / anger /nihilism/ defensive" and "overcome eatingly nice / easily taken advantage of" and I managed to hit a middle ground where I can see unhealthy and healthy behavior in others and myself and sense when it can be dealt with and when it can't. The world makes a lot more sense and I'm nolonger angry and I know who I can be open with.

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2020-03-28T05:20:36+00:00

1)Buying my own house and restoring it. 2) And forging ahead with my career. Long story short- found out ex was cheating, left him, he had to get one more pot shot in, saying my business would never succeed but if I was lucky, maybe many years from now I could buy a house. I laughed in his face and bought a house 3 months later and was hired for the most important job of my career as I was packing my boxes to leave him and house hunting. He lost his job and married an alcoholic woman who is now having sex with his (also married) neighbor. Don’t know if he knows, but the whole neighborhood certainly does. He did me a big favor by cheating on me because I just keep hearing more details about the hole he has dug himself into financially and his terrible behavior pushed me into the greatest chapter of my life so far. 🤗🌈

teeteereads · 2020-03-28T07:18:46+00:00

Quitting a job after being emotionally abused by boss for 4 years. I turned in my resignation email, joined a virtual call with her shortly after and it was obvious she had finished crying, I straight-faced accepted her forced compliments while I returned none while keeping it professional, dropped my computer off, and started with my current employer who paid me 100+% more and treats me like a valued employee. I’d never felt such a weight lift off of my shoulders after standing up for myself.

ames0630 · 2020-03-28T15:59:46+00:00

Coming off a transformative trip to Senegal, Africa over the holidays with old college friends. Since returning I (35) have begun:

Active interviewing for new/better position. In final stages with a few, looking to make a decision in the next week or two. (Aprox 30k increase/level up)
Running. Lost 19 lbs. 17 more to go.
Personal rebrand. Took copywritter courses. Began writing again. About to launch the blog.
An EMBA program. I begin in Fall 2020.
Journaling daily.

There's a new-ish HVM in there somewhere (long time friend), but he does NOT make the "most proud of" list.

Edit: Finding FDS was a massive part of this!

what_thefreshhell · 2020-03-29T06:45:49+00:00

I started out 2020 by blocking any guy from 2019 who gave me grief. It felt amazing! It made me get over my fear that blocking someone is "mean." It's not mean, it's boundaries. If you jerk me around, you don't deserve any access to me. Period.

Another good moment is when I dumped my emotionally abusive ex. He started crying (the first time he ever cried during our relationship btw) and I just walked out. It felt like floating on air afterwards.

I'm re-charting my career path to ensure I get paid what I'm actually worth. I've learned the hard way that misplaced loylaty to employers is never worth it, especially when you find out that you're being paid less than men who have done the same job. Cut your losses and go find an employer who sees your worth, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

2020-03-28T05:05:46+00:00

I don't explain myself to anyone anymore. I used to apologize for my very existence. Or since I'm Paleo gluten free, I'd feel like I had to explain it to everyone and put myself down for it, apologize for it. I don't do ANY explaining anymore. If someone thinks I'm weird/uncool/ stupid, oh well. I used up get into really long debates with an ex about the benefits of gluten free and Eastern types of medicine (herbs, yoga, etc). I believe in vaccinations and antibiotics, I just think you can do a lot of preventive wellness with a good diet of protein, veggies and fruit.

I don't feel the need to explain this apologetically to dates/people anymore. It's so freeing. That last ex was really the last time I ever tried to explain myself. That's how manipulators get under your skin. They try to get you worked up emotionally and if you are naive you'll fall for it. They just want to invalidate you, your lifestyle, your beliefs because it makes them feel powerful and intelligent or something.

I just don't explain myself. My spiritual beliefs are private. My diet is also private and my reasons for it. My dating past is private. Thanks to the book "not your mother's rules", I just have a lot of confidence now, true confidence. I can't believe I ever wasted a breath trying to justify and explain myself to people. For what? Don't believe you aren't good enough or there's something Wrong with you. Nobody needs to "get"you.

Title	What act of leveling up are you proudest of, & why?
Author	greenie66
Upvotes	53
Comments	30
Date	March 27, 2020 6:15 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fq29bg/what_act_of_leveling_up_are_you_proudest_of_why/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-act-of-leveling-up-are-you-proudest-of-why.679495 https://theredarchive.com/post/679495

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