Gonna start off with saying; I fucked up. But! I found FDS and am so happy, like, I'm not crazy! I'm learning but have a doozy of a hole to dig myself out of, and was hoping for the advice of this community.

Here's the fuck ups: I (29F) wanted to move half-way across the country to a specific place. That was my dream. I had 9k in the bank. My bf (38M) and his friend (31M) had just enough to move, my bf wanted to go as well and the friend too. We are now living in a great apt with awesome landlord (you bet I did all the work in securing it). He spent around 4k of my money in the past 7 months on living expenses, possibly more. He has paid me back some, but owes between 1.8k-2k to me now.

Bf and I do not have a rock solid relationship. He has been abusive and I have been an ultra insecure pickme nightmare. We've been together 3 years, started out AMAZING (of course), got horrible, now it's livable. He's made huge positive changes over the last year, but we still have a lot to work on in our relationship. I've made a lot of progress with self-respect and boundaries and am seeing the results. Friend/roommate used to be respectful of me, now treats me with blatant disrespect for an undisclosed reason.

I have also not found a job despite hundreds of applications for almost any work, I was not sitting on my ass this whole time. I've also made tons of art, gallery ready pieces because a goal of mine is to be in a gallery, preferably more than once. My bf not working enough to support both of us, let alone himself. Roommate is making minimum and WOULD NOT help me, he already does less than bare minimum of chores. I have about $900 bucks left.

Dire straits.

However, my parents are selling their house and offered me 2k to fix it up for them as I've very handy in the house and garden. Kicker: It's halfway across the country, I would be gone for 1-2 weeks to visit and I am afraid my bf will lie to me. He's lied to me about looking at girls on my computer while his is broken (do I have a lot to learn or what?), I called him out, he cried, now he's not allowed to use my computer (found FDS right after this, which is how I've managed to maintain the no computer rule for so long, thank you!!!!), and more lies/disrepect in that vein. I do not believe he would keep promises made while I'm away. Do I think he'd actually cheat? I'd say not likely but possible. Do I think he'd do something at least kinda scummy? Most likely. He would be taking care of my cat if I went to to help my folks.

My grandma's very sick (93F), my mom (65F) suggested in her strategic way that I move back to take care of her/help them, and they will pay for grad school for me (I would like to go to grad school very much and am also experienced in caregiving, I've done a decade for family). I think fixing up their house is also a ploy to get me back, lol. They would help me move back, I would likely have to live with them and job search in a small coastal town (not easy at all, but the job market in the city where I am is shit too). I am grateful to them for offering me a way out, I know my mom wants the absolute best for me and will help support me (not just financially).

Counter: I would feel bad for ditching the guys in a place they hate where none of us have friends that I picked. I want to stay here (with or without bf), I love the landscape and the art. I love the sunshine and don't want to go back to the rain. Cost of living is so affordable, but G-dang the job market is the pits. I am in love with my bf but sick of fighting. You know, when we're not fighting it's great blah blah blah you've heard it before. We're best friends but fight all the time :o *surprised pikachu face*

Choices:

-Stay where I am, probably have to ask for financial from help from parents (barf, I DO NOT want that), another 5+ months on the lease, or I dump him and move elsewhere around here, I'm pretty sure my folks would help with that, mostly if I help them first. Stay in a town/landscape/climate/house I love. Continue to face the bitter job market. Awesome art scene here which I would like to be involved in.

-Go back home, spend a lot of parent's money on moving again (though I'm sure they'd be delighted, I'm very helpful), possibly go to grad school, take care of elderly grandma, live in cool small town (but hate the climate, very few opportunities), ditch 2 guys (I know they'd be pissed but I don't really care about that, I don't like to skip out on a moral obligation). Landlord would likely understand if I left, he's a grandpa and if I told him I would be leaving to take care of my family, I'm sure he would understand, I have maintained a very good relationship with him and his wife.

What does FDS think? In each place I can see a way to better my situation but at a cost. You can be tough with me, I'm used to it (I say that a bit tongue in cheek but I'm ready and open for tough love). I have truly valued this sub and have found validation, life-changing advice, and positive direction for my mindset in coming here. Thank you.

tldr; No money left. I fucked up and loaned money out to bf. Stay in town I love but haven't found a job in with not perfect boyfriend, try to earn my own money vs. dump him now and move to surrounding area, have to borrow money vs. move back home across the country to take care of old folks with grad school paid for.