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pokersnob
[–]DelicateDreamFDS Disciple209 points210 points211 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I’d add “shows interest in you personally”.
[–]BLKR3b3LYaMmYFDS Newbie68 points69 points70 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
In the early stages of the dating process, “asks questions about you”
[–]SpannnnnFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
doesn’t every guy ask questions in the early stages? guess I’ve just gotten really lucky with guys haha
[–]cushie996 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes I agree that’s very important my bf never did that:( I wanted to know everything about him ..
[–]Elizabeth667FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
On the flip side it can be worrying if he wants to know everything about you immediately and gets frustrated when you dont know what to tell him.
[+][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]DelicateDreamFDS Disciple5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This isn’t a forum about seduction. This is essentially a forum for women to vent, discuss and debunk myths about dating and relationships and men and determine what is actually healthier and more effective for us to meet our needs. Not all women here share the same exact views or desires, so I would not direct someone here as if this sub represents my views.
It seems you’re not a woman, so I’m reporting you.
[–]kokiokiedoki159 points160 points161 points 4 years ago (36 children) | Copy Link
Spirituality is more of a neutral flag IMO
[–]uniqueeleni72 points73 points74 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I think it depends on the person. For me it would be a red flag since I’m not spiritual at all, so we wouldn’t be compatible, but others view it as a positive or a neutral.
[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
spirituality, in my experience, can either mean down to earth and in touch with nature OR it means self-righteous. That's a yellow flag for me.
[–]kokiokiedoki14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same tbh. I didn’t want to come off as judgemental but I think it would be really hard for me to be with someone who was religious in any way
[–]ponchoacademyFDS Disciple25 points26 points27 points 4 years ago (25 children) | Copy Link
Spiritual just means one believes the world and universe is bigger than they are and it's all connected in ways they don't fully understand. So the point to is practice mindfulness, be kind to themselves and others because your actions affect your connection to everything around you. This is where stuff like karma comes into play, that the thoughts and actions you put out into the universe will eventually come back around, because of that connection.
In contrast, religion is more of a belief in a higher power who the answer to everything and is in control of it all and following instructions on how to appease that higher power so that you will be granted a good life and rewarded in the afterlife.
A person can be religious and a bit spiritual and believe in a higher power while also mindful of others, not just because they're expected to religiously.
I'd much rather someone who is spiritual. God fearing is a red flag to me, while someone who says they don't have all the answers but just striving to be a good human is a very green flag to me.
[–]appropriate-username14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Spiritual just means one believes the world and universe is bigger than they are and it's all connected in ways they don't fully understand.
That's just science.
This is where stuff like karma comes into play, that the thoughts and actions you put out into the universe will eventually come back around, because of that connection.
This seems more like spirituality to me because this is talking about superstitious things that have limited/no basis in science.
Karma can be argued to be a higher power if it's believed by someone to have an intelligence of its own - if it "comes back" to someone and seeks out whoever has done good deeds rather than appearing randomly.
But I guess your point seems to be that spirituality is about a more diffuse, non-concrete "magic" and miracles while religion is strictly about deities and appeasing them. That's an interesting distinction.
I think a lot of people here are talking about the other option, agnostic/atheist people.
[–]ponchoacademyFDS Disciple5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't consider it science. It's just a belief that the world is bigger than they are and just striving to do their part to to be a good person, just like it's a belief that some have that the world revolves around them and they only care about themselves.
I absolutely agree that karma can be viewed as a higher power. As for miracles, at least in Christianity, there's a lot of focus on miracles in the Bible. That there is no diety in someone strictly spiritual and not religious doesn't mean religion is strictly about dirties. Though, if a religion does have any dirties, they are the worshipped with the intent of being blessed and/or the promise/threat of what will happen in life and the afterlife if you don't.
There is overlap in how someone lives striving being a good person, just that, like I said, the motivation behind why they do it is different between someone who is religious and someone who isn't.
Anyway, I did not take the infographic to mean agnostic/atheist and didn't think that religion was even the point of it at all. Regardless if someone is religious or not, believes in a god or not, being someone who has a sense of purpose and the responsibility to be a decent human being is a green flag.
[–]fistfulloftoscaFDS Disciple6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
I agree with you. I am turned off my atheists because they basically are saying to me that they are egotistical enough to believe they have all the answers.
[–]CameronTheCannibal22 points23 points24 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What? Religion is the one claiming to have all the answers.
[–]deathbecomesme123456FDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Most atheists actually acknowledge they don’t have all the answers and instead of choosing to give up and say, “oh it must be God,” they say, “we don’t know, so we’re not going to speculate on the cause of [insert natural phenomena here].”
[–]fistfulloftoscaFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
That's agnosticism, then, isn't it?
[–]KolaDesi9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You can be agnostic and a believer too.
Gnoticism/agnosticism is linked to how much sure you are about your position about God's existence.
Gnostic atheist → I'm sure there is no God Agnostic atheist → I don't believe in God but I'm not sure it doesn't exist Agnostic theist → I believe in God but I'm not sure it exists Gnostic theist → I'm sure there is a God
[–]deathbecomesme123456FDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Yes but it’s not mutually exclusive with atheism. There are agnostic theists and agnostic atheists. Agnostic theists say, “I don’t have all the answers but I think there might or might not be a god out there and I believe in one.” Agnostic atheists say, “I don’t have all the answers but I think there might or might not be a god out there and I don’t believe in one.” I don’t think I’ve ever met an atheist who says “I know for a fact there is not a god out there.”
[–]appropriate-username1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Why would someone believe or disbelieve the existence of a god if they believe that the truth can be either way? What's the point of making an opinion?
[–]fistfulloftoscaFDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're lucky, that's solely been my experience! (the latter)
[deleted]
[–]appropriate-username2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
All known gods actively conflict with the way we know this universe works
I don't think that makes much sense. An all-powerful being could contort itself to fit pretty much any universe's workings.
[–]poisonfern5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Karma and mindfulness are literally religious concepts. Not just "spiritual'. Use them if you want but you need to understand the origin of these concepts when you're choosing to try and educate people online.
[–]appropriate-username3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
mindfulness
Per merriam-webster:
: the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis
I don't see why this necessarily has to be religious. This seems to be more of a meditation/health/psycho-exploration thing to me.
[–]ponchoacademyFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Like I said, someone can be religious and still share some of the same way of living their life as someone who is spiritual. The biggest difference really is the motivation behind it.
I apologize if I came off like my point was to give an educational exercise. Just like any post I write Im just sharing my view and it's a given there will be different opinions.
[–]getcanceranddieLUL6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Mind expanding? I'm more interested in that 'flag' over the others.
[–]pokersnobFDS Disciple[S] 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Just because he is spiritual doesn't necessarily mean he has good intentions. It just means hes more in tune with himself and nature. He could use those powers against you if he really wanted to.
[–]kokiokiedoki8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
U M WHat
[–]ponchoacademyFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I just had a vision of an evil snow white using the power to talk to animala to start a bird attack lol
No spiritual people don't believe they have powers. They just believe everything is connected and because of that they try to be mindful of their actions. If someone tries to do something against someone else and theyre truly spiritual, then they're doing it knowing that negativity they put into the world will eventually come back around to them. Karma works both ways and can be a bitch.
[–]kokiokiedoki1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m agnostic so being with someone who’s religious would probably be a struggle
[–]NotchDidNothingWrong0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's more proof that heterosexuality is part of (((god's))) evil plan.
[–]labchi1d30 points31 points32 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Most importantly: supports all of these things in you
[–]sassykat2581FDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ex 0/12 current boyfriend 12/12
Now that I’ve seen the real green flags I realized how my ex was manipulative to try to make me think his behavior was a green flag.
[–]pokersnobFDS Disciple[S] 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Quintessential "gaslighting"
[–][deleted] 24 points25 points26 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Something else: Get a look at HIS APARTMENT/HOUSE. Is it clean? Are there any pictures on the wall, art of any kind (bare walls: red flag)? How's the kitchen, can he cook for shit? Dishes in the sink? Is the bathroom clean, is there TP? If you seen any porn, bikini calendars or the like, red flags, get outta there. Most men live like degenerates. In general, NEVER cohabitate with a man. Once he has you trapped, any facade of cleanliness will drop.
[–]pokersnobFDS Disciple[S] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Meditation works.
[–]minikookie47 points48 points49 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Could you make one for red flags? Having a single resource like this would be really nice! Especially for people who are just finding this sub
[–]okaybrie16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is great but I think what’s important to remember is that these do not balance out the red flags. I’ve dated guys with more than one of these qualities or traits, but the red flags still outweighed them.
[–]GrayPillGirlFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Biggest green flag is when they introduce you to their friends immediately. Cheaters and fuckbois try to keep those two worlds separate so their asshole buddies don't accidentally blow up their spot. This is especially true as men get older and their friends become mature enough to be disgusted by cheaters. If an older dude is cheating, you will never meet his friends.
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I would say long-standing friendships is overhyped. I'm constantly rotating friends, because we change, but it doesn't mean I treat my SOs poorly. On top of which, I know people who beat up or cheat on their SOs and they have tons of long-standing friendships. I think this is one "green flag" that really needs to die..
[+][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]AstroG4FDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oi! As an atheist, I resent being excluded by the “spirituality” green flag. Someone can be a perfectly healthy partner without needing to believe in any vengeful sky fairies.
[–]illbeyourkitty27 points28 points29 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So I’m supposed to date myself?
[–]Bilgewat3r15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I know someone with like all of these I think but nobody ever seems interested in him lol
[–]myrtlebtchFDS Newbie[🍰] 19 points20 points21 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Because all those traits without a physical attraction will mean you see him as a friend only. Chemistry is still something you can’t replace.
[–]Bilgewat3r6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh true
[–]Dunglebarrel6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Is he ugly/unattractive? Green flags aren’t a replacement for everything
[–]Bilgewat3r4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I personally don’t find him too attractive, he’s somewhere in the middle but then again beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Edit: typo
[–]Dunglebarrel3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Makes sense! Ugly guys have better luck in their 30s when people want someone more stable/financially successful/ mature. Someone will probably take interest eventually so I bet he’s fine
[–]LisaRVFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
is he cute and are you interested in him?
[–]Bilgewat3r0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cute can be subjective, and no, I personally am not. I’m so sorry, I don’t know how I missed your comment!
[–]drunky_crowetteFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Since when is spirituality a factor?
I agree that spirituality is neutral
[–]greenteaapplepie69Ruthless Strategist7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Love this! 💕
[–]katiedarling37FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I honestly didn’t know there was an opposite to red flags until a few days ago.
[–]ponchoacademyFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I really like this... Not only for what to look for in others but to reflect on if these a qualities one possesses themselves too.
[–]EndToAllStoriesFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I really like this, thank you OP
[–]numbers9092 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Really. Some genuine good advice.
[–]Mountain_Lily2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good post, good post!
[–]CuriousCatNYC777Ruthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Don’t you love it when he has all of these, then randomly sends a dick pic? Like WTF?
[–]pokersnobFDS Disciple[S] 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When a guy who was raised properly takes advice from fvckboys
[–]spattersongt1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Define healthy hobbies. Curious what unhealthy would be... binge drinking, partying?
[–]pokersnobFDS Disciple[S] 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Healthy hobby: building ships inside bottles, unhealthy hobby: stealing
[–]Kaddy031 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Isn't this blue?
[–]pokersnobFDS Disciple[S] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
What do you mean?
[–]Kaddy031 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
that the image is blue, its a little confusing
Omg, you might be color blind... go see a dr
[–]pokersnobFDS Disciple[S] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
https://www.eyeque.com/color-blind-test/test/ take this test
[–]Kaddy035 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I analysed the image and its
135/255 points for Red 190/255 points for Green 170/255 points for Blue
So I suppose im color blind
[–]pokersnobFDS Disciple[S] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Geesh https://www.allaboutvision.com/conditions/color-blind-glasses.htm
Try these 🌼
[–]Kaddy032 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks for helping me, you seem like a really kind and helpfull person :)
[–]pokersnobFDS Disciple[S] 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks, enneagram 2 😂
[+][deleted] 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]myrtlebtchFDS Newbie[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yea this one is a bit weird.. What is he vulnerable to? If it’s like being a sensitive guy, then no thanks. I’d rather replace this word with “attentive” or “caring”, but not vulnerable.
[–]poisonfern17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Attentive and caring are about how someone relates to their partners emotions. Being vulnerable is about accepting one's own emotions. It's a really crucial trait to have, especially in men who haven't internalised toxic masculinity.
[–]Phirk1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So women shouldn't do the same as in not express vulnerabilities? I didn't know that was a turn off
[–]CandyyWarholFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I needed this today! Thank you!
[–]BabyGothQFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn. This is great, thanks for posting.
[–]quentin_taranturtle0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Is it possible to find someone with all these traits? The only guy I know like this is 28 years older than me and married haha
[–]KeenoUpreemo0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What is spirituality?
[–]pokersnobFDS Disciple[S] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I define it as being in tune with self and nature, as well as being balanced within yourself.
[–]AsparagusAndHennessy0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Will never ever pay on a date
[–]pokersnobFDS Disciple[S] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Today is a new day.
Sure
[–]KeysOpenTrees0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Why spirituality?
I didnt make this, I shared it
[–]JishAFish0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I’m sorry but why do men need spirituality to be good
[–]pokersnobFDS Disciple[S] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I agree it shouldn't be on this list
[–]JishAFish0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just seems like an odd thing to have as a green flag
[–]Turtuloo0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Where is the “always pays for dates” flag
[–]pokersnobFDS Disciple[S] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thats no flag its a requirement
[+][deleted] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]nachpach8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol idk about all of that, but spiritually is a red flag for me too. No thank you.
[–]furnitureisuseful2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Geez 🤨
[–]pokersnobFDS Disciple[S] 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
SOunDs PeRsoNal mY FrieND
[–]_ChestHair_3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Falls under self sufficiency without sounding nearly as shallow
© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
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[–]pokersnobFDS Disciple[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]JishAFish0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]pokersnobFDS Disciple[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]JishAFish0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Turtuloo0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]pokersnobFDS Disciple[S] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]nachpach8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]furnitureisuseful2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]pokersnobFDS Disciple[S] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]_ChestHair_3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link