Being upfront about wanting a HVM

dzgata · 2020-06-11T14:46:37+00:00

“I’ll know when I see it”

Don’t give them the steps to trick you for a few months.

circescircus · 2020-06-11T14:29:01+00:00

You don't. You observe their actions. Telling them what you want just means that they will act how you want them to act, until they get what they want from you. You walk the walk, not talk the talk. Which means, not accepting low effort dates, blocking as soon as the guy crosses a boundary, not responding to late texts, not sleeping with the guy before commitment.

2340000 · 2020-06-11T14:37:59+00:00

There's no need to spell it out. That's too much effort on your part. A decent reply would be general:

"I'm looking for a relationship of substance" or "I'm looking for something worthwhile/serious". The details are up to you. You observe his actions and determine if he meets your standards. If he doesn't naturally give you what you want, move on.

bqluoeoedn · 2020-06-11T14:53:30+00:00

My go to was “Something real.”

I like “I know when I’ll see it” and “Something worthwhile” mentioned.

ChristianGirl93 · 2020-06-11T18:17:31+00:00

Patient, has personal growth, and whose actions speak louder than words. Hard to fake patience, growth, and actions.

mightbethrowawayyy · 2020-06-11T15:45:58+00:00

You don’t spell your standards out. You sit back and observe. Also, anyone who asks “what are you looking for” before the first date is up to no good. I would not reply to that question at all. If he asks that question after we’ve known each other for a while, I would reply something generic

sadpourtoujours · 2020-06-11T18:52:51+00:00

Listen, watch, observe. You set your expectations on the table verbally and a man will mold himself to be what you want in order to con you. Keep your cards close.

DoeEyedBrownSkin · 2020-06-11T20:43:19+00:00

Don’t give them the blueprint to your peepee sis. Observe them.

2020-06-12T13:30:21+00:00

I told something like : Someone who is highly educated, has self respect, loves animals. And i gave an answer but also didn’t tell my standards.

eng2fly · 2020-06-12T16:09:42+00:00

I didn't. The most I would say is I was looking for someone who would match me and very quickly through getting to know me you can see I have my life together.

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