So ladies, there has been a lot of focus on LVMs but what is your definition of a HVW?

hoIds_up_spork · 2020-03-20T13:45:59+00:00

My mom is the definition of a HVW to me, as corny as it sounds. She could have lived a cushy life as a stay at home professor's wife but she went back to school once my sister got into kindergarten and got another degree. She commuted back and forth to a city two hours away for two years while my dad was a part time single dad. She's black and has always had to deal with microaggressions and condescension in our mostly white town (like constantly being told that she's "very articulate" - she has THREE graduate degrees, including one in law, why the fuck would she not be ArTiCuLaTe???). People always underestimate her because she's tiny and looks so gentle but she's always willing to fight for us. For example, my sister was targeted by her French teacher the year after my dad died. She's always been a goodie two shoes/teacher's pet. She's NEVER had an issue with any teachers except for this one. She went from being someone who loved school and adored the French language to someone who didn't want to go to school. My mom contacted the school administration and basically tore the teacher a new asshole for bullying a 10 year old girl. After that, the French teacher couldn't kiss my sister's ass enough. She's also incredibly strong. When my father died, my piece of shit paternal aunts and uncles started calling her a gold digger (they literally met when they were broke undergrads but ok) and asked her to give him my dad's clothes, shoes, his car, and anything of value, since it was "his" and they were his "family". None of them even cared that my dad left three children behind and that our household income had been cut by 60%, not a single one of them even asked about us or expressed concern. Despite this, my mom continues to give my dad's mom money (she's not a terrible person but she's almost certainly still giving money to my dad's siblings). She's always working on improving herself and her education - she completed a law degree in 2018 while working full time in the healthcare field and taking care of my two younger siblings who were still at home - and she's currently deciding between PhD programs or just going straight into politics/IR. She's kind of an "influencer" in the Ghanaian expat community in the UK/Canada/US and has made a ton of connections in media and politics. She now wants to return to Ghana to use her education and influence to start a business and create jobs for young people, poor people, and women.

My mom's mom is also very HV but I feel like I've rambled on long enough. I'm just going to say - she was born in colonial Africa and only has the equivalent of a grade 8 education or less yet she's the smartest, most hardworking, enterprising woman I know.

blackopium777 · 2020-03-20T13:22:21+00:00

To me a HVW has alot of self-respect (the foundation of having strong boundaries and high standards imo) and supports other women. She doesn't judge other women by their physical appearance but rather by their personality. She doesn't let people treat her like shit, but does it in a way that ensures her and her loved one's safety. She is hygienic and also takes care of her mental health. And what's most important to me personally: She knows that life isn't perfect and that everyone fails something, the most important thing is to get up and do something about it instead of sulking.

circescircus · 2020-03-20T13:40:21+00:00

The basics for HVW and HVM are: having self-awareness, empathy, self-respect, values, respect for others, self-discipline, having goals, being responsible. The biggest difference between the 2 is that a HVM will sail through life compared to a HVW. That describes men and women in general, but it's still true even with HVM and HVW.

HVW are still women, and as women, they are living in a man's world, where the game is rigged. HVW have to understand that things are not fair, they can't be gullible or delusional, they have to look out for their own interests. They need more than strong boundaries-- they need to trust their instinct, not doubt themselves, and they need to have a very strong self-preservation mindset. It's impossible to thrive or grow as a woman, if your mindset is not based in self-preservation. You need to first survive before you can thrive. So many LVW forget that or don't want to believe it.

A HVW has strategy and knows the game is rigged. A HVM can be quite naive in many ways and still succeed in life, work and in relationships, but a HVW will not remain a HVW if she is similarly naive.

I think naïveté, refusal to accept an ugly reality when naïveté is shattered, and a culture that gaslights women into being willfully ignorant, delusional and endlessly masochistic, is what changes most women from potential HVW to pickme/LVW.

To be a HVW and to remain one, you need to know you're playing a rigged game. You need to understand how fucked up society is, and in knowing that, you need to protect not just your body and life, but also your mind. You can't ever seek validation or approval from others, you have to have a strong sense of self.

My husband is a HVM, but he is very naive compared to me. He has the luxury of being naive. If he were a woman, not only would he not be a HVW, he might be dead in a dumpster somewhere.

CuriousCatNYC777 · 2020-03-20T17:38:52+00:00

r/FemaleLevelUpStrategy

fadinglikearose · 2020-03-20T14:46:29+00:00

[deleted]

siberiansummer · 2020-03-20T13:58:53+00:00

I consider myself HVW. I don’t play games with people, women or men. I cut people off without any remorse. I’m very empathetic, I will always help if I can. People come to me for advice or a shoulder to cry on. I have a very large social group. I tell the truth. I’m not a jealous person, if someone has it better than me I will compliment it. one of my rules is: if you can’t say something to someone’s face don’t say it at all. With that said I’m not an always nice girl, I can call you out with no problem. I enjoy seeing people happy and accomplished. I genuinely do. I have education and a great job. I’m fit and healthy and beautiful. I worked to get where I am at. It’s all about the right mindset and doing the right thing. It takes work but I’m proud where I’ve come. Life is great and will only get better from here. Also, side note, I had my beautician’s husband message me on fb this morning flirting with me. I told her right away. Apparently they are not together anymore but I had no idea. The point is: always look out for other women and people in general. Be genuinely a good person and the world will recognize

Lovelywings2 · 2020-03-21T02:06:19+00:00

Lauren from Love Is Blind is a high value woman. She gives the vibe of someone who is very picky, but when she meets a HVM she's not afraid to be vulnerable, while being completely open about her wants and needs. She had her own career, took great care of herself, and has an interesting life that Cameron seems completely mesmerized with now.I know a lot of people are cynical about reality TV. But it is incredibly rare to see how a real life HVW handles a relationship. You normally don't get to know what kind of conversations she has with the guy, or what kind of things he says to her. They are an amazing HVM-HVW couple.

Another thing I noticed is that she has good boundaries and has standards about her friendships. She's careful about what she says about the other cast members in the show, but it's very apparent that she keeps her distance from toxicity and drama. And she stands up for herself in a classy way.

99natas · 2020-03-20T13:43:58+00:00

Self sufficient, independent, funny, witty and successful.

She should have her own money and assets and take care of them.

2020-03-20T16:25:44+00:00

A woman with agency, focuses on her mental, physical and emotional health. She also provides value to the vulnerable females and children around her.

Anniealmighty1 · 2020-03-20T23:36:54+00:00

I consider myself hv. These are traits I have and am actively working towards:

Self respect; Goals that she is actively working toward; values education/is educated; self sufficient; not emotionally needy; has passions; has and maintans a support system; takes care of her mental health; has dealt with her past in a way that it doesn't effect her future/doesn't carry baggage; not afraid to say no; self aware; strong boundaries; open minded; good social skills; emphatic; a good friend; a good listener; sense of humor; has interesting hobbies; awareness and appreciation of other cultures; financially responsible; a great mother; is knowledgeable of and pays attention to world events; intelligence; cares for her community; takes care of her physical health; invests in and embraces her beauty; responsible; makes others feel better when they're around her/doesn't bring people down; has a positive and optimistic mindset; problem solves; knows herself and what she wants; does not tolerate toxic people

Bovvsette · 2020-03-20T17:14:58+00:00

Queen-like, acts opposite of pickmeisha. Respects herself and doesn't clown around for cheap LVM attention, is independent and self-sufficient, doesn't see other women as rivals or enemies, has life goals that will take priority over any man. Understands that the sex game is rigged, doesn't pretend that it isn't and that they enjoy it (as in ”oH mY gOd, dOn't kiNkshAme mE, i eNjoY liCkinG a StRangEr's aSshOle eVerYniGht”). Doesn't idolize men and sees right through their games, Preferably has a support system of other HVWs. Has trained herself to have strong will and discipline to achieve her goals and live a healthy life on her own.

2020-03-20T19:31:32+00:00

Confident, they don't need other's approval, they are mobile in life because they make their own money, they have their own interests and pursue a life full of whatever they want their life to be about.

-- Confidence

-- Good communication skills

--Financially stable

Title	So ladies, there has been a lot of focus on LVMs but what is your definition of a HVW?
Author	FodderFigureIllushun
Upvotes	155
Comments	42
Date	March 20, 2020 1:08 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fluqgv/so_ladies_there_has_been_a_lot_of_focus_on_lvms/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/so-ladies-there-has-been-a-lot-of-focus-on-lvms.693076 https://theredarchive.com/post/693076

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