My biggest gold standard for a man that I had always told myself I would not compromise on was that the man has to be gentle and handle his anger in a mature way, and doesnt lash out or raise his voice.

Well when I met my (now ex) husband I compromised on that very thing. And now I am a single mother and I had to run away with my infant daughter and hide from him for a week because he was terrifying and threatening me and my daughter.

Never again will I lower my standards like that.

I have always hated that men watch porn, but it was clear that every man I met watched porn and it was normal. and pretty much all the girls I knew either didnt mind or also liked it. So I always felt like I had to compromise on that. My husband used to tell me how horrible and awful porn is and how he never watched it which I thought was amazing. Come to find out he was just as pornsick as the rest of them.

Well now I have a new standard and I will never be with a man who watches porn even if it means I will be single for the rest of my life.

Now that I am a mom, to be honest I am a LVW. I am very poor and live with my father. But I am going to college now and I will become a "HVW" because I want to provide better for my daughter. I am becoming smart about money, opened a savings account for my daughter and opened a 401k. I am going to be financially stable, I am going to get my dream degree and a job in my dream field. Only THEN will I start to date(MAYBE), when I have a good income and a home, and I will find a man who has the same.

Someone made a snarky comment about how I want to find a man with a good job one day. "How else would you get your meal plan?" Wow. I absolutely do not EVER intend to be dependent on a man ever again. But I also dont want a man to be dependent on me. Having a daughter has given me goals and ambitions, and has made me want to seek someone with goals and ambition, the opposite of my ex husband.