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thegypsybean
[–]InayahDaneenFDS Newbie137 points138 points139 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was lacking self love.
[–]ashwheeeFDS Newbie124 points125 points126 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m missing intimacy. That was the reason for the last dumpster fire.
[–]LooseUnderstandingFDS Newbie107 points108 points109 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Self worth
[–]Unholyalliance23FDS Newbie82 points83 points84 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was lacking self respect
[–]GoldeneAnanasFDS Newbie66 points67 points68 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Security. That kept me 11 years with a dickhead.
Now I am super secure on my own, knowing that I even make it better on my own.
[–]kentang_rice33 points34 points35 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
He showered me with attention, time, things a HVM would do. He took 2 trains just to accompany me to the clinic for a UTI (he didn’t stay the night). He would pick me up at the train station to accompany me when I visit my parents.
It took him 2 mins to reply each text, call me at night. He would sing for me to help me fall asleep. He would bring me first aid period kit (chocolate, pain killers, soy milk) whenever my period gets bad. He would stay with me throughout my depressed episodes.
Then, he dumped me out of the blue on Sunday evening, even after visiting my house (and meeting my parents) on Sunday afternoon. He treated me like a stranger already on Tuesday and I don’t even know what I did wrong.
[–]crushcrush226 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg I’m so sorry. This one made me genuinely upset! At least in other stories, the red flags were there. This is just insane and scary. You had no way of seeing this coming :(
[–]taranarasarahara3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
that sounds awful. i experienced something similar, and it messed with me for years. how are u dealing with it?
[–]ironymaiden87FDS Apprentice29 points30 points31 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I need to send this to ALL my friends...
As for myself, I was bullied from when I started school to when I finished so I've never had much self-esteem. But I do have self-respect, which some of my friends sadly lack when it comes to dealing with men.
[–]crushcrush222 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Are you me? Lol same exact thing! I was bullied throughout school especially by boys. Had low self-esteem but somehow still had self-respect!
[–]ironymaiden87FDS Apprentice4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep, the boys were the worst bullies! The girls were backstabbing and "bitchy" but the boys' insults cut right to the core because I cared so much more about what they thought, especially as other girls were getting positive attention from them at the same time. It cut deep. Ugh. Sometimes I think I'm too traumatised by all my experiences with men to ever try to get into a relationship with one again.
[–]cowburnersFDS Newbie88 points89 points90 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Sex?
[–]EfficientTackleFDS Newbie55 points56 points57 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sometimes it be like that
[–]pancakeCEOFDS Newbie47 points48 points49 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This was my answer too a few weeks ago but now that I'm digging deeper into it, the fact that I prioritized horniness over my physical and emotional well-being as well as over my time and my money means I wasn't showing myself the love I needed from myself.
[–]palltaFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Intimacy, self-worth, and hobbies that interested and took up my time
[–]balladwildsFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Right ? i was missing love. self love definitely
[–]sanguine_dualityFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Grew up with abusive family so I had no self esteem, no social skills aside from people pleasing, no self love and no self respect. That guy was like my savior in my eyes.
[–]GoatRenownFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When I hated myself I used to go for the worst possible men because I thought that's what I deserved.
Ladies, you are better than a trash bag. And if you aren't right now, at least stay out of the trash bag until you figure out how to be.
[–]dejazz367FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
that's right! for goodness sake, you have gotten rid of that plague!
[–]divdecFDS Apprentice11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Self love, validation, a life.
[–]fuckmarv12466710 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This has made me think about my last relationship in a whole different way.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was lonely and lacked self love
[–]ginnnnieFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Missing self esteem and a friend. I still need to fill the gap on a close friend, but I have worked on myself so much through the shit relationship that my self esteem is much stronger now.
[–]fadingmodel5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is so true!! I was missing financial stability. I had recently lost my job after being in the hospital for a month and was starving and couldn’t pay my rent. He fed me and provided me a place to live, at the time I accepted the abuse after the honey moon period because my basic needs were being met. After I managed to get myself a new job and put in a year with the company while still living with him, I told my boss about the abuse and how I really needed a promotion to be able to move out and support myself. I was lucky to have a female boss who understood and advocated for my promotion to another team. We broke up right after I had him help me move into my new apartment.
[–]Extreme-VermicelliFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sex and intimacy 😔
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup same
[–]infinitymouseFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Missing passion and afraid of being alone. Some of the posts on r/datingover30 really do a lot to reinforce that last one.
[–]RawritsNicci0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Self love, and he was my first real relationship. Now he’s my ex fiancé. I hated myself so much I put up with his abuse because I thought/think I’m not good enough for anyone
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[–]InayahDaneenFDS Newbie137 points138 points139 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ashwheeeFDS Newbie124 points125 points126 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LooseUnderstandingFDS Newbie107 points108 points109 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Unholyalliance23FDS Newbie82 points83 points84 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GoldeneAnanasFDS Newbie66 points67 points68 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kentang_rice33 points34 points35 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]crushcrush226 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]taranarasarahara3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ironymaiden87FDS Apprentice29 points30 points31 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]crushcrush222 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ironymaiden87FDS Apprentice4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cowburnersFDS Newbie88 points89 points90 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]EfficientTackleFDS Newbie55 points56 points57 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pancakeCEOFDS Newbie47 points48 points49 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]palltaFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]balladwildsFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sanguine_dualityFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GoatRenownFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dejazz367FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]divdecFDS Apprentice11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fuckmarv12466710 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ginnnnieFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fadingmodel5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Extreme-VermicelliFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]infinitymouseFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RawritsNicci0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link