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RP that somehow became BP

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June 25, 2020
12 upvotes

Was RP without even really knowing it throughout my teens and 20s. Did my thing. Lived my life. Hobbies. Education. Career building. Met my wife. Fucked constantly, publicly and dirty. She was happy tagging along and was happy to stay at home and be led.

Fast forward to now. Somehow I BPd myself along the way. The sex. The intimacy. My hobbies. Everything got pushed back or dropped until now I do almost none of those things. It got so bad that I actually had 'the talk' with my wife about our sex life. Yeah. I did that.

So now I'm waking back up. Rekindling old friendships. Hitting the gym. Reading. Taking up new shit. Trying to find that man again. Dropping the faggotry.

My question is, having started reading actively again, what are some good resources to turn to? I'm pretty new to the active RP community so I'm unfamiliar with the literature. I want to do this right.


Post Information
Title RP that somehow became BP
Author Idigabighole
Upvotes 12
Comments 47
Date 25 June 2020 11:42 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/699113
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/hfwv20/rp_that_somehow_became_bp/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
BPD
Comments

[–]RStonePT24 points25 points  (15 children) | Copy

"used to he Alpha slowly became beta" is a meme at this point

You're not special, work is over there ➡️

Also, for your specific point, practical female psychology writes about the betaization process

[–]InChargeManRed Beret2 points3 points  (12 children) | Copy

Yep, never alpha, always a beta in training.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (11 children) | Copy

I bet I slayed way more pussy than you when I used to be RP alfa bruh.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret3 points4 points  (10 children) | Copy

Lol, I never slay pussy. I like to keep it alive so I can extract maximum value. Like a cow.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy

Fat chicks need love too

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

That's why u/red-sfpplus is needed in the world, to bring balance to the force

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

Fat chicks are awesome for several reasons.

First, I am able to tie their fat legs open, often times with a leg spreader to get a partial view of their meat hooks.

Diving down the fetish model, I am then able to use one vaginal separator to open up the first layer of fat.

A smaller separator for the second layer.

Finally a rubber glove for my hand to wear while I am fisting her.

Cause there is no way my short cock, and huge hips are going to fit in that small area to fuck her anyway.

Fat chicks = execution of multiple fetishes.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Did not disappoint :)

Sidebar regarding leg spreaders: I have an adjustable one where the ankle cuffs have clips between the eyelets on the bar vs the cuffs. I like it, but the issue I have is that it allows her a good amount of free motion due to the clips/chain links. Of course there is a maximum and minimum range, but I find that it diminishes the dominant aspect of it. I'm thinking about getting some sort of bar with fixed cuffs, but I guess it would need to have some padding on the cuffs. Have you ever tried something like this?

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I made one from Home Depot for like... $10.

Get a long wooden dowel at least 1.5 inches in diameter and attach screw-in eye hooks as you please at different points. Use double ended snap hooks to connect your cuffs to those eye hooks.

You can now quickly move her to multiple positions easily one appendage at a time.

Paint it black cause black is scary.

You can also attach a neck sling to it with the same hooks so she doesn't try to break that fucker across your chest during missionary. Learned that one the first time.

Or you can just use leather straps attached to the dowel with no hooks and long velcro. Velcro is pretty hard to break.

Thanks u/red-sfpplus for not disappointing us with your fat flap fisting fetishes.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah the one I have uses the double ended snap hooks, it's just that there is a lot of play, which I want to explore getting rid of...

It is a pretty nice bar in general, wrapped in a padded fabric all around, soft liner for the cuffs. As I think of it I guess I'm thinking I want something like a stockade. I'll look into it :)

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

<eagerly awaits his as usual witty reply that contains anecdotes of anal, rape play, shed bondage, a knife, a family friendly BBQ, or tren>

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

LOL, yep.

By the way, congrats on the job headway! I meant to reply specifically regarding apathy towards success and failure, but don't have my thoughts all together on it. I think part of getting to a higher level of success as a man is decoupling outcome from input in how you judge yourself. As you learn to only seek validation from yourself you become more discerning as to which of your actions and efforts merit satisfaction. You can only control what you can control, so you judge yourself by those actions, not the outcome from things outside your control.

For some time I have been noticing that the "rush" from successful outcome has been waning, but similarly the downs from unsuccessful outcomes has also reduced. On the same day I might secure a big contract or find out I lost an opportunity. Generally either doesn't bump the needle as much, since those outcomes are not themselves part of my identity. The things I value most in my life have nothing to do with money.

[–]Idigabighole[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm good with work. Just looking for a jump off point.

[–]business---travel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One of the best comments I have read on this sub.

[–]Idigabighole[S] 4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

Just to clarify im new af at this. I dont know what the sidebar is and I just made a Reddit account today.

[–]Monsieur-Incroyable19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

Whatever you do, don't talk to your wife about what you're planning to do and change. The rule is: Never talk about fight club. Just do it. Actions speak a lot louder than words do.

[–]Idigabighole[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Even being new to this that seems like a terrible idea. If she thinks I'm doing it just to fuck her more it won't change a damn thing. Talking to her too much hasn't helped anything. Nah I'm doing this for me.

[–]glowing_dolphins5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

If on mobile, click “about” on the subreddit page. Big list of links and resources.

If on pc, it’s on the right hand side of the subreddit page.

[–]Idigabighole[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you.

[–]Bluejuju5432 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP is right, on r/askMRP the sidebar shows no resources, I am looking at it right now. Go to r/marriedredpill and check that side bar out. Lot's of good books listed there as well as topic posts. I would recommend starting with NMMNG, MAP and MMSLP.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's one fucking long ass way of asking where the sidebar is.

[–]tightsleeves2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Figure out how to find the sidebar and there is a list of books to read, read them all.. more than once.

The most important thing to remember is that this isn't a fast process; reading and learning this is eye opening and even if you make the changes today it will take a while before the results are felt. Kind of like when you start lifting weights...

[–]Idigabighole[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Usually things that are worth doing take time. I'm ok with that.

[–]broneilbro2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Woof...welcome to the gang. I guess over time for me it was complacency and just the planted idea that one should be comfortable with their lives and yet its the complete opposite. The issue is society wants little to no chaos and true change.

The reason for that is when you open your eyes to the fact that you have been "misguided" your entire life it causes you to question the system and that system does not like that.

The system of society wants you to be a sheep and never say no to accepting a subpar life. You ever wonder why society says "His mid life crisis" when guys like us wake up one day and say "Fuck it, time to change" and yet with women its "Finding herself" or some eat pray love bullshit?

Read my previous posts within here and you will see what I mean.

[–]VictorERink14 points15 points  (9 children) | Copy

Most of the people who comment on these sections think it’s cool to treat you like they’re your drill sergeant. It was nice seeing somebody come into this sub without all of the assholery.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

You'll find that the community response is proportional to the ego of the newb.

[–]RStonePT10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not true. A drill Sgt cares if you succeed.

And to be fair, it's not like everyone's a drill sgt, so much as it is most new guys have never had someone be honest with them before and it hurts to hear.

Source: former instructor at a military school

[–]Idigabighole[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I dont mind tough love. Being complacent is what got me into this mess.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Did you get lost on your way to r/DeadBedrooms ?

[–]Idigabighole[S] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

No I started there and there seemed to be a lot of people feeling sorry for themselves.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

So you got lost in deadbedrooms on the way to MRP. Thank fuck you had the sense to leave. Welcome on board.

[–]Idigabighole[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Basically. I realized that I don't just want more sex. I want the entire picture to change. Sex is just a byproduct of something else. The idea was vague in my head and I saw a brief reference to MRP. Took me all of reading 1 post to realize its exactly what I need.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Common theme: "I came here for the sex but changed my whole life."

[–]business---travel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No one on that sub takes any of the responsibilities; especially, the pathetic men that post on the sub. Make sure you hit the sidebar!

[–]JCX_Pulse1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her lack of sexual interest in you got you here.

The reading will help get you started, but the practical application of what you learn is how you will influence change.

A key aspect of MRP is to do this for you. You don’t like who you are now, even if the sexless marriage helped you see that, don’t let that be your measure of success. Find congruence with yourself, your goals, your mission, your expectations of yourself, so that if you find she doesn’t change you are happy enough with who you are to leave and find someone new.

Join in on OYS to track your progress as well.

[–]DuffBude0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Side bar and posts the others have linked. The first red pill book I read was When I Say No, I Feel Guilty. I didn't think the title applied to me before I started reading. It was a game changer.

[–]Idigabighole[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Read the intro. Bought all the pre-reqs. A lot of work in front of me, but the resources are there. I like the way shits being laid out here.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A lot of LIFE is in front of you.

This is a journey, not a project.

As you have already learned, your results will stop when you do.

Like losing weight, you can ‘diet’ until the weight is gone, and then gain it back when you stop dieting..

OR,

You can change the way you eat forever.

You don’t have a ‘lot of work’ in front of you as much as you are going to change the way you live your life, and this time add 30 minutes a day of learning MRP on an intellectual level.

[–]Idigabighole[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Quick ask before I go back into STFU. Reading through NMMNG and the author recommends getting my SO to read the book as well. Is this wise considering how early in the game I am?

[–]NoAARPforMe2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, do not have her read NMMNG. Don't talk about fight club.

[–]MrTrizzles-2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy

Nice try. You already know what you need to do. Let me refresh your memory:

Did my thing. Lived my life. Hobbies. Education. Career building.

You’re here looking for a shortcut. Some easier way of being a man. Some internet tricks or tips to get you there faster.

Sorry, brother, but there’s no shortcuts. I don’t blame you for looking for an easy way out, but you’ve no options here except to put the work in. Now kick that lazy attitude out for good and get to it.

She wants to make you her world. Give her a world worth being a part of. She’ll get wet just thinking about it.

[–]Thor-Loki-11 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I don't see that.

I see someone who doesn't have a background of what this place is, coming in and asking for help. While this happens every day, like someone else said, the responses are in proportion to the ego. This man doesn't seem to be over the top there.

Most likely, he got a sense of something missing. Things weren't the way they were before--and he didn't know why. Somehow, someway, he's done some research (or someone dropped a hint), and here he is.

You are correct in several things you say. He does know what to do. But he also doesn't seem to have direction. I don't mind passing along help to those who need and appreciate it. What he's asking for is a more formal introduction to things, rather than "Go read the fucking sidebar, lurk, and come back in six months". I also don't see him as lazy. He's lost his way, although he's probably never really knew he had found it before.

He does have a lot of work to do--quite a bit of it is internal, but not all.

[–]MrTrizzles0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Eh. He does know why:

Did my thing. Lived my life. Hobbies. Education. Career building. Met my wife... She was happy tagging along

Fast forward to now... Everything got pushed back or dropped until now I do almost none of those things.

He does know what to do, and he knows which direction to go. This is not someone who desperately needs RP, he already has the hard parts figured out. If he rebuilds his life to what it used to be, she will happily follow. Just as she did before he got distracted and stopped fulfilling his own needs, which is probably what killed her attraction in the first place.

He lost sight of his mission. Let’s hope he rediscovers it.

[–]Thor-Loki-12 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

He does know why.

At the moment, I'm thinking not. Now, sure, of course. It may seem simple.

You're also right in the how shit works (Fix your life, she'll follow as a belle; you stop that shit and she'll move on).

Probably projection, but I figure he's done some reflection on things as time went on--he said he had the "talk" with the wife. Agreed, he's not desperate, seems like he's got a plan now (MAP), but is wanting to fill out some areas he's unsure of. I think....and my opinion is just that, a fucking opinion....that he would be a solid contributor moving forward. Perhaps even influence a few folks.

Of course, he could just be a cunt, too. Let's see what happens. Always good to hear folks with experience.

[–]Idigabighole[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I can be a cunt, and you both just summed up the last 10 years of my life.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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