His Kinks Are A Reflection of His Values. Kink Shame Away.

onemoredaydream · 2020-08-03T14:28:02+00:00

I'm honestly happy to see the tide turning in porn and abusive kink.

How weird, that the most common kink is all about reinforcing sexual submission! How ODD.

People acting like kinks aren't an expression of how they really want to act, aren't being honest with themselves.

greatflo · 2020-08-03T14:38:23+00:00

I read a ton of the comments in that Reddit thread linked in the article and it’s just.....it made me so sad. The women’s logic behind the justifications for degradation kinks...

Someone kept bringing up a really good point: why shouldn’t we be alarmed when a man is aroused by degrading and abusing women, even if it’s only in a sexual context? That means a part of them enjoys that, even if it’s “just in bed”..

reina_nova · 2020-08-03T15:35:08+00:00

I'd rather be celibate for the rest of my life than engage in degrading, kink-filled sex.

cherrypepsilvr · 2020-08-03T16:30:52+00:00

Recycling this from another thread I posted in:

Fetishes come from very deep down in us psychologically. They may not be our fault, but they absolutely reveal a lot about a person on a very deep level. If you're disturbed by a kink, it's 100% certain that it reveals some incompatibility between you and them.

My story's pretty crazy, but I'll lay it out.

The last guy I reeaaaaallllly liked, we were having an amazing time and all loved up. Then he told me about his fetish. It was gaining weight. Specifically, he wanted to be at least 400lbs. I was shocked when he told me. He was a handsome active young man and the thought of him deliberately disabling himself and becoming unable to do all the things he enjoyed just made me feel devastated.

I refused to talk with him about it, but he still talked AT me about it.

He would text me things like "Omg I just ate a whole pizza, I'm gonna be 400lbs lol" and I'd feel so depressed. He asked me to "encourage" him, but I never did. He said that he wanted to be encouraged because it "soothed" him. He also talked about it being hot to "ruin" his body. I think he knew how uncomfortable I was, but he wouldn't stop. The fetish took over so that he never spoke to me about anything else.

When I told my friends, no one was prepared to say that was disturbing. I felt like everyone thought I just had to accept it and if I didn't I was being cruel to him.

I always thought fetishes were like if you had to think about feet to orgasm or something, I never realised they can be obsessions that take over your life.

I dumped the guy. In the postmortem of the relationship, I've thought about what I think his fetish reveals and how it manifested between us in other ways.

- He wanted to "ruin" his body. That's an extremely self-harmy thought with a lot of self-destruction in there.

- He didn't care whether I found him attractive, it was all about him getting what he wanted. This did actually manifest at a late stage, when he became lazy in the situationship but expected me to be on hand to entertain him all the time.

- I believe eating to that extent is a substance abuse problem, along with all the emotional problems behind an addiction.

- He had enough disregard for me and other people around him that he would want to be incapacitated. His elderly mother needs help moving her fridge? His nieces and nephews need someone to look after them this weekend? I need him to carry a shopping bag for me? His future wife and children want him to live into old age? Well that doesn't matter, because it's his fetish to be 400+ lbs.

- Mommy issues. He wants me to "encourage" him to eat and get bigger, too look after him when he gets too big to do anything for himself, and he wants to be a big fucking manchild that only has to sit around and eat, because that makes him feel soothed? Yeah, mommy issues.

But heaven forbid I should kinkshame him. Look out for these things, ladies. They do tell you what's going on underneath.

painmakesyoustronger · 2020-08-03T15:28:26+00:00

It is sad that we cannot save the world from the state it is in, but we CAN save ourselves.

As a former BDSM-friendly Pickme, I am so grateful I found this sub, or I would have still been thinking I was cool for being down with it.

I’m so proud to say that all BDSM freaks will hereby get dumped immediately, with sadistic pleasure!

rhyth7 · 2020-08-03T10:17:19+00:00

I do not get the concept of 'he only beats me and abuses me in bed.' Or 'It's just a fantasy!'

Title	His Kinks Are A Reflection of His Values. Kink Shame Away.
Author	TheOGJammies
Upvotes	106
Comments	28
Date	August 3, 2020 6:45 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i2s8wl/his_kinks_are_a_reflection_of_his_values_kink/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/his-kinks-are-a-reflection-of-his-values-kink.720342 https://theredarchive.com/post/720342

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