When a guy returns. What’s the move?

extraacct1234 · 2020-01-31T16:25:02+00:00

Doesn't matter what he said. No backsies. We don't backslide.

purasangria · 2020-01-31T16:28:49+00:00

Another chance? If it didn't work the first time, it won't work the second time. (source :personal experiences)

2020-01-31T16:46:11+00:00

Dudes seem to have a habit of waiting until just the moment you've started to move on and be secure in yourself without them to reach out, huh? I've noticed this before.

If he approaches you irl to ask how you're doing tell him you're excellent, work is good and you're enjoying life. If he tries to ask you to catch up with him or something like that, just say no, you're busy and not interested in social commitments. 🤷‍♀️

persephones_torch · 2020-01-31T17:16:01+00:00

The mentality that helps me: "I'm so amazing and awesome. Any man would be lucky to get my time and attention. You've already shown how little you value me when you get my time and attention, so hell no, you're not even going to get a single chance anymore. I'll save it for someone who actually recognizes an amazing worthy woman when he sees one."

TL:DR: fuck off my fine ass is too good for you

janeaustenfan99 · 2020-01-31T16:36:33+00:00

It doesn't sound like he's actually doing anything to show you through his actions, that he wants an emotional commitment. After three months, it's perfectly reasonable to have some level of exclusivity or firm understanding of what's going on between you two.

elliebelle12 · 2020-01-31T18:01:17+00:00

He's waited this long, just to send a generic txt. This is nothing, he's testing your willpower and looking for an ego boost. Do not respond! You don't have to block if you don't want to, but I would at this point. Because he's only testing the waters, if he was actually interested, emotionally invested and thought highly of you, he would approach the situation completely different. He'd either txt you something heartfelt that he truly misses you, yadda yadda, or he'd approach you in person at your hobby group, with sincerety. He is not the one for you with this behaviour, he's just looking for a bit of company, and honey you are so much better than that! If he approaches you in person to ask why you didn't respond, blow it off. Act casual, either you must have forgotten about the txt/forgot to reply, or you were busy and time got away from you. And try to slide it into the conversation, that while you'd like to stay civil at your hobby group, you also don't want to pursue any kind of friendship out with the group. Your time is precious, and he doesn't deserve yours when he's not appreciating it. You are a goddess worthy of so much more, accept nothing less💕

SaddleUpBucephalus · 2020-01-31T16:43:11+00:00

The next move is to block him.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-01-31T17:53:53+00:00

His response was so lame that you should just not bother responding. You don't have to block unless he gets pushy or rude. Either way, you shouldn't bother responding.

In person you can just say you were busy and forgot to respond.

traditsh · 2020-01-31T17:45:20+00:00

I freeze up if I don’t have a plan and I’m so attracted to him and don’t want to get sucked back in.

Here's a gift you're giving yourself: you know what you want. You want to not get sucked back in. You know it enough to state it plainly.

How do you help yourself not get sucked in? Picture what these strategies look like. You know what methods you can put into practice that keep yourself from not getting sucked in. You don't have to justify anything to anyone.

Some ideas:

Block his number.
Keep it curt when interacting with him in person. End the conversation ASAP.
Remind yourself how he made you feel that made you end things. Write this down. Read it often.
Focus on your hobbies.

aclumsygirl · 2020-01-31T18:35:26+00:00

No response. He had his chance with you and he blew it. Make him feel the consequences of his actions. And you have moved on-- love yourself enough to respect the progress you've made, by not setting yourself back.

If you see him in person and he approaches you can smile and be polite but brief, as you'd greet a co-worker. And then glide on by. But if he texts/calls/messages---> ignore.

gcthrowaway2019 · 2020-01-31T20:41:53+00:00

When you put garbage on the curb, do you bring it back in? No bc you threw it out!

Once roses start to smell like shit, they never go back to smelling like roses.

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2020-02-01T09:18:21+00:00

[deleted]

Title	When a guy returns. What’s the move?
Author	jackofhearts23
Upvotes	25
Comments	36
Date	January 31, 2020 8:52 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ewlkxq/when_a_guy_returns_whats_the_move/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/when-a-guy-returns-whats-the-move.723225 https://theredarchive.com/post/723225

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