Vegan FDS ladies, what do we think of vegan men?

myousername · 2021-01-28T08:49:17+00:00

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wagonwheel_ · 2021-01-28T15:28:45+00:00

Vegan here. Last boyfriend was vegan. You can check out my latest post to see the details on how that relationship panned out. To summarize:

Vegan men may have strong and well placed convictions with respect to animals/health/the environment etc. However, this does not mean that his respect for women is equally as evolved. DO NOT assume that just because he has progressive ideas about veganism that he has progressive ideas about relationships. Vet him as hard as you would vet a steak and potatoes type, IF NOT HARDER.

NotSoSmartChick · 2021-01-28T14:09:27+00:00

Ask why they’re vegan. I met a guy who said it was to prevent hardening of the arteries, which would hopefully result in better erections.

Seriously.

iamtoopretty · 2021-01-28T16:24:38+00:00

Hi OP! I'm from India, a country with probably the biggest vegan population in the world and no shortage of NVMs and LVMs. Food and lifestyle choices don't reflect a man's character. If he wants to be misogynistic POS he'd be that while chanting Buddhist hymns.

azureangel35 · 2021-01-28T12:40:52+00:00

I'm an 11 year vegan. I've never met a true HVM vegan but I've only been single for a year+ so I haven't completely lost hope. If anyone is in the southern US and wants to message me I'll give you 2 specific vegan NVMs to avoid, one an abusive narcissist of the lowest order.

Pasdepromesses · 2021-01-28T08:32:53+00:00

I’m vegan and I never dated a vegan man. I never really met one so there’s that 🤣

The important thing for me is that they have respect for it and don’t see it as an inconvenience but something that belongs to me. The same respect that I request and give in return when it comes to religion, politics or other subjects I’m passionate about.

LVM can’t do this in any shape or form so they filter themselves out (eventually).

Edit: HVM in my experience will also educate themselves about it, are okay with raising children this way because they see the health benefits and will give the children a choice to eat meat only when they’re old enough instead of the other way around and won’t mind eating plant based at home.

EarthKveik · 2021-01-28T10:35:44+00:00

I've come to realize it's not always quite the cases and there are men who become vegan because they male a logical connection between consumption and animal exploitation, yet they still hold many misogynistic idea.

You bet. The one I was with could get upset and work himself into a rage at the drop of a hat when it came to animal abuse or meat. Shopping with him was embarrassing since he'd be loudly commenting on the contents of the shelves and what people were buying.

Of course if the animal in question was the same species as him, and happened to be his girlfriend, he had no qualms about being an arsehole.

shoo_coworker · 2021-01-28T15:59:05+00:00

Lots of men have been trying to go vegan after that documentary, "The Game Changers", came out on Netflix a while back. Most vegan men I've met have lied about how long they've been vegan for, or try to compete with me about veganism and who's "more vegan" (nevermind the fact that I only buy used clothes and vegan/eco friendly soaps, skincare, etc)

In short, I would love to eventually date a vegan man, but it's so hard for me to find any who don't act like they're gods simply for being vegan.

InterestingMango0 · 2021-01-28T08:25:35+00:00

I’ve had terrible experiences with vegan men. They have a lot of narcissistic tendencies and do a lot of performative activism in other areas.

My experience with vegetarian men is much better, I have found them kinder and more compassionate.

Hardwatergal · 2021-01-28T13:10:49+00:00

Vegan/vegetarian at different times and dated one vegan man.

If you’re a vegan you are probably painfully aware of the climate and ecological crisis the world is currently suffering from, with a large part of it due to animal agriculture. Both of us were motivated by protecting nature and actually met at a wildlife conservation volunteering group. While the destruction of nature saddens me, I still get on with my life. This guy was so pessimistic about it, like such a downer. Refused to do any activity with a large carbon footprint like go on holiday. He was depressed as fuck and refused to do therapy because he tried it once and it “didn’t work”. He even said he thought his depressed outlook was a good thing because it led him to veganism. In reality he is just suicidal and alcoholic, while painting himself as a martyr for Mother Nature.

Icchy24 · 2021-01-28T22:02:57+00:00

I've only dated 1 vegan man. He was probably the biggest outward misogynistic. We dated for 1 month and i realized i needed to get out. He literally cared about animal rights more than womans rights.

Vegan men aren't special.

OrangeyPanda · 2021-01-28T16:13:03+00:00

Its hard to speak on vegan men, because even though I've been vegan 5+ years I've never met another vegan man IRL. Only met 1 vegan woman IRL. Online, sure lots.

When looking for a HVM if they're not vegan, the most important thing is that when you mention veganism they express interest, curiosity, excitement to try some new meals and an insistence that they don't want to eat animal products around you. As well they express desire to work towards veganism themselves. Any man who expresses disappointment or doesn't want to learn more will never be compatible.

As for the vegan men online, some are really low value (vegan gains), others (earthing ed) are all around well adjusted human beings that care about all social issues.

skyerippa · 2021-01-28T10:22:24+00:00

Seems like there's a weird influx of "vegan" Men that are just vegan for "health" i find that a red flag because in my opinion the only valid reason to be vegan is to stop the horrific suffering of animals. If they don't care about that they won't care about me either

MagpieMelon · 2021-01-28T09:45:43+00:00

I have celiac disease which means I can’t have gluten, and anyone I end up with will have to be fine with a completely gluten free household.

I’ve also recently turned vegan and it’s working well for me but it’s even more difficult than just gluten free. So my compromise is that I don’t really mind what someone eats as long as it’s gluten free, because that’s an actual health issue. It’s my choice to be vegan and any food I cook will be vegan, but I’m not looking for someone that is gluten free and also vegan.

I’m looking for someone to respect my views and choices, but I don’t feel the need to change someone else’s views and choices. I ate meat and dairy for most of my life and I thought I could never be vegan, yet here I am. I won’t turn someone down just because they haven’t made the same decisions I have. A health issue is a lot different to a personal choice, and seeing how people treat my celiac disease shows me a lot about them without me having to also try and find someone that’s vegan.

thegoldenmirror · 2021-02-11T19:43:41+00:00

Late to the party but I see so many people saying in vegan groups online that they're so shocked/disappointed when they find out a vegan is a narc/shitty person. I think some vegans are very naive and assume because they perceive themselves to be a good person, then all other vegans are. Also just because someone seemingly has empathy and compassion for other animals, doesn't mean they think the same about other people!

I would like to date a vegan dude or at least a vegetarian as they are more likely to 'see the light' themselves. I think my ethics are too different from people that eat meat so it would be a sticking point for me!

MercyGoldenrod · 2021-01-28T13:48:04+00:00

Vegan men only go vegan when they're privileged enough to do so. When it's not simple or doesn't serve their image, they drop it. Most vegan men I've met have been spoiled endlessly by their mothers.

her-vagesty · 2021-01-29T18:29:38+00:00

My experiences:

Before I went vegan (I was veggie) I dated this guy who turned vegan from meat eater after date one. I felt like he did it to one up me. He then would berate me for not being vegan. I turned vegan after getting out of that, I think I was staying veggie out of spite to him haha anyway, point being he was an ass about it, always wore shorts and a beanie, and never had money. He's married to someone else now.
A vegan guy I went on one date with. He showed up with bath bombs from a famously vegan bath shop because I'd mentioned that I love baths. We had a good time on the date but the next day he ghosted. Oh well I got bath bombs from it!
Went on two dates with this last vegan entrepreneur type. He would always pay for everything and bought me Ubers home. However he admitted to eating honey. So not vegan. I wasn't hugely into him which made him more into me. He was SUPER nervous around me and when we were meant to meet for our third date I just felt sick to my stomach, so listened to my gut and ended things. This was months ago but he texted me recently (after I put up a hot selfie on the gram) asking could we be friends and "chill" and of course we all know what chill means so I said no.

Anyway vegan guys can be just as annoying/boring/ghosty etc as non vegans but at least you have some morals in common with them and you know you'll always end up eating somewhere with good options 😂 I'd love to meet a nice vegan man or influence a nice man to consider veganism.

tellmesomething11 · 2021-01-28T21:36:14+00:00

I’ve dated a vegan man and he was abusive. He also wanted any future children to be raised vegan, but I wouldn’t commit to that (even though at the time I was vegetarian) I’ve learned by having children you never know what to expect. And if a baby isn’t thriving on a vegan diet and you insist on continuing that diet, you are at risk for being accused of child abuse. Same with someone I knew- only wanted to feed her baby soy formula and baby was allergic 🤦🏽‍♀️ So it’s complex bc I know people have raised vegan babies but all babies are not the same.

but back to the vegan ex. I don’t feel like vegan men are rare, they exist but being vegan doesn’t make you a great man. Like I said, he was terribly abusive.
I’ll be honest, I think there’s something strange about wanting someone to have the same diet as you (this is my opinion because of what I went through being vegetarian with a vegan man) I don’t care if a person is in ketosis, weight watchers, no soy ever, only eats fish, only eats plants, only eats yellow food, I don’t want to push my food choices nor be shamed for not having theirs. That’s what happened with my vegan ex, he wanted me to be vegan, I could not thrive with that diet, he tried to shame me ? It was weird. I can be sustainable in other ways. But he was terrible. So abusive.

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Title	Vegan FDS ladies, what do we think of vegan men?
Author	Lykah
Upvotes	66
Comments	28
Date	January 27, 2021 10:32 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/l6gc5h/vegan_fds_ladies_what_do_we_think_of_vegan_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/vegan-fds-ladies-what-do-we-think-of-vegan-men.744276 https://theredarchive.com/post/744276

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