I’ve had my guy friends tell me that I need to be rude to catcallers or guys harassing me, but they literally don’t understand how dangerous that is.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-03-12T17:06:17+00:00

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mjkmeow83 · 2021-03-12T17:33:29+00:00

I hate that men say women should be flattered by cat calling. No it’s horrifying especially when you are alone because you don’t know what they will do next.

MadamLeFay · 2021-03-12T17:34:51+00:00

A few months ago, I was cat-called by a (drunk? drugged up?) creepy guy as I got out of my car in my apartment parking lot. I did the whole "uncomfortable smile, keep walking" thing and then he got verbally abusive. I didn't cuss his ass out because my parking space has my apartment number on it and I live alone and didn't want any trouble later on.

A couple of days later I was looking at my local news channel's website- and there he was!!! He was arrested on weapons charges at a motel in the next city over from me.

advice1988 · 2021-03-12T18:14:02+00:00

When I went to buy paint when I first moved into my flat, looking and feeling like a grade A scrub (paint splattered & sawdust boilersuit & trainer combo, hair in french braids, spent a week doing DIY , ate one meal a day, haven’t showered due to the utilities not being on for a week & sleeping on the floor for because my bed was not delivered & on my period so PURE TRASH vibes) had a cashier offer to carry the paint to the back of a friend’s car I was borrowing, which I thought was customer service and he spent the walk talking about my body ‘it’s a shame your so covered up when it’s so hot’ (which I ignored and spent the time regretting saying yes for the help) when we got to the car, he puts the paint in the boot and turns around puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it and says ‘you owe me now’ smugly ‘I guess you can give me you’re number as payment babe & then you can pay the rest of your debt off’ 🤮 I just shut the boot of the car, got in the car, lock the doors & drove off. I could of given him a talking down like I’ve never given anyone but in that moment a 5’0 me vs a 6 foot something man in a parking lot that’s near empty,when I’m tired & in pain & hungry & don’t know what he is capable of ? Nah. Just drove away. I avoid that diy shop like the plague, literally go to the one near the other end of town. THATS the amount I’m willing to avoid men like that.

volcanic_equation · 2021-03-12T17:39:20+00:00

“You need to be rude to them, so they’ll stop”,

“You were too mean! You can’t offend them, or they’ll get mad.”

“You shouldn’t have been wearing that. Showed waaay too much skin. Boys will be boys, after all.”

“Wearing a hijab and covered from head to toe you say? Well these men are losing it due to a lack of visual stimuli. Their natural manly urges just piled up. You understand”

sleepykittn · 2021-03-12T17:08:47+00:00

Ignoring catcallers kills us now😩 ok this rape culture seriously needs to stop. Nothing we do is keeping us safe! We need change!

I gotta add, if your guy friends say women need to stop being nice to men harrassing us i think the nice for what really applies. Only be nice if you feel being rude is unsafe or if you actually reciprocate mutual feelings. Women need to be bitches it seems.

pearlspaghetti · 2021-03-12T18:45:46+00:00

Yup! My scrote ex would flip on me whenever I’d tell him I got cat called, “why didn’t you tell him to fuck off?!” and then get angry suggesting I like the attention. Uh, no genius, I’m not about to berate a person twice my size while I’m alone and vulnerable.

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2021-03-12T21:31:33+00:00

I told a scrote in a bar to stop and he grabbed the front of my shirt roughly with one hand and dumped his drink down the front of my shirt with the other while calling me a “goddam fucking b-itch.”

In public. In a crowded place.

The question isn’t why don’t women say stop; it’s where were all the “Not All Men!” defenders when he was assaulting me?

To all the Not All Men group, where do you hide when we are getting verbally and physically assaulted? Check yourselves. 🤡🤡🤡

2021-03-12T20:28:14+00:00

Story: I walk daily. I used to walk down a long stretch of road that is a major street in the city. One day while I was walking two college aged boys in a beat up old car drove by me then swerved the car towards me, like they were going to run me over

When I screamed and flung myself out of the way the driver corrected the vehicle (got it off the side walk) and floored the car. I could hear them screech with laughter as they drove away.

For a hot second I was going to pick up a rock and hurl it at the back window. But I didn't.

You know why? Because I was isolated, alone and would have placed myself in mortal danger if they turned the car around and actually ran me over. And guess who would have been arrested if I had reacted? It's their word against mine.

This is the world women live in.

Lumplebee · 2021-03-12T20:42:54+00:00

Female separation is looking more and more like a necessity :/. Even in countries where we are considered most safe this shit happens daily. I’m so tired girls.

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2021-03-12T21:24:05+00:00

Scrote Advice: “Just say No to being murdered, ladies!”

Krahmiin · 2021-03-12T19:31:47+00:00

I totally wasn't prepared to cry today.

CriminalQueen03 · 2021-03-12T22:24:32+00:00

I will only be rude to catcallers when I am ready for an escalation and a physical altercation. Which means never. I found a more neutral "Leave me alone." and, more importantly, ignoring them works most of the time.

Novemberinthechair · 2021-03-12T21:45:48+00:00

Men are this fucking stupid.

The kind of guy who lacks enough impulse control that he can't help but yell things like, "Nice ass!" Or "Sit on my dick!" Will not hesitate to assualt a woman he deems uppity. How fucking stupid to suggest we should invite these degenerates to a duel. Dudes, tell those crazy assholes to stop catcalling, dont tell women to start a fight with a belligerent asshole who isn't even our weight class.

Lumplebee · 2021-03-12T21:59:27+00:00

had beer cans thrown at my head Halloween 2017 for not responding to catcalls lmao, god I wish I had this sort of god complex men have where they think if someone wrongs them they can just immediately sort it out because nothing has ever gone wrong for them ever, especially physically....

glossyskies · 2021-03-12T21:08:33+00:00

“bu-but 🥺 no. nO! NO, NO, NO! wisten to me pal, tHeSe ArE oNlY ✨iSoLaTeD iNcIdEnTs✨ stawp nitpicking!! 🤬 pweaze jus give us a chance 🥺 not aLL meN 😟” the door is this way, bruce; be sure to bring your gaslighting and emotional abuse with it. ➡️🚪

MrsJohnMarston__ · 2021-03-13T00:07:53+00:00

I consider myself pretty gutsy but, I honestly don't think when I've had perverted men near harassing me that I've screamed or started a physical altercation with them. Fear kicks in. As much as my rage-filled heart wants to stab them in the eye, it never plays out that way. Those power-dynamics feel very real.

Maybe when I'm walking at a pace and at a distance, I might go "fxck off" to a cat-caller but there's literally no circumstance I could think of that I might walk up to a bloke and tell that in his face.

P.S. That case with Shana Grice was so shocking. The Police told her to go away.

thowawaywookie · 2021-03-13T01:13:06+00:00

It really is dangerous as you really don't know what they'll do.

The only times I told a guy to fuck off was in a crowded store when he kept following me around the store. And once when leaving a store an old perv 50s was leering at my 14 year old daughter. His wife showed up beside him and I went off on him.

breadandbunny · 2021-03-13T02:07:25+00:00

This seriously breaks my heart. Things have got to change.

PmMeYourFountainPens · 2021-03-13T03:14:29+00:00

Is there more violence against women of color from men they don’t know? I feel like I’m always reading articles about WoC being murdered by random psychos. What’s up with that? And if so, how can we begin to fix this as a society?

NoneOfYourBusinessPS · 2021-03-13T07:24:06+00:00

I would love to download this video, anyone have the original please?

Title	I’ve had my guy friends tell me that I need to be rude to catcallers or guys harassing me, but they literally don’t understand how dangerous that is.
Author	Sensitive-Ad8553
Upvotes	747
Comments	31
Date	March 12, 2021 5:00 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m3lv6d/ive_had_my_guy_friends_tell_me_that_i_need_to_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/ive-had-my-guy-friends-tell-me-that-i-need-to-be.767872 https://theredarchive.com/post/767872

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