What can I tell myself to steel myself against cat calling?

zazaleaz · 2021-04-19T18:19:22+00:00

Gosh that's a tough one. I think the anxiety response is probably the right response- it is a dangerous situation when a man sets his sights on you and you never know when it will escalate. This is exactly what our fear intuition is made for.

The only thing that stopped it for me was leaving the city altogether and getting a car. At some point I realized it had been ages since a man harassed me in public and I realized it was because I drive most places now.

Protoetype · 2021-04-19T21:09:02+00:00

Men are angry that they want you and can't have you. They think you have all the power and they try to take it back with intimidation. He is admitting his defeat by attempting to jar you emotionally. Try not to let him have the prize (humiliating you by attempting to force his sexually on you)

You are superior. If you weren't, he wouldn't even glance at you, you would be invisible to him. He can't stand that he's invisible to you.

To all the women that have been hurt by men forcing their sexuality on you, I want you to know that he can't contaminate you with his filthy, loser male essence as much as he wants to. When he tries, he is pathetically admitting his sad inferiority. Do not let him make you feel that he steal your worth, that is EXACTLY what he wants.

kitkatnyc · 2021-04-19T20:15:37+00:00

Carry a knife

Magnolia_Mirage · 2021-04-19T22:01:59+00:00

I'm surprised no one has said do not give your power away.

Someone will always disrespect you for something, the thing is to not give them that power. You are not inferior to them, and when you cower you give it away.

You have as much right to walk out the door freely, don't let other people take that away.

Revy_Ur_Engines · 2021-04-19T20:44:15+00:00

“...sacks of flesh carrying out monkey programming...” I’m sorry but I laughed at this 😅

berryberrykicks · 2021-04-19T22:17:58+00:00

At times, the women in my life that I love are having a difficult time and are struggling to remember that they’re worthy, strong, and powerful. In those times, I remind them. I carry that truth for them in the moments that they can’t.

When they’ve finally caught their breath, they’re able to take back the reigns. And when the time comes that I stumble, the women in my life that I love are there to remind me that I am worthy, strong and powerful.

So when you feel that anxiety edge in because of these repugnant harassers, think of all the women, both friends and strangers, who would gladly lend you strength and peace in that moment. Maybe that will make you feel less alone.

You don’t have to be any less vigilant or suspicious or feel any less upset about what you’re enduring. But maybe you can be less anxious and feel more self assured.

anywaysheresrational · 2021-04-19T17:57:37+00:00

This catcaller wanks into his sock. 💁‍♀️

A bit deeper:

Composure is a matter of power.

People who feel the need to proactively bully, harass, and attack others with like, 0 reason, give up that composure. They have no power in their lives.

None.

It's an overcompensation method, for exactly this powerlessness they feel they have.

Pretty pitiful, hu ? 🤷‍♀️

You think YOU have anxiety ? Check out those dudes. The big spider is more, SO much more, afraid of you than you are of it. The dog that aggressively barks and growls at you ? Fear. Sheer terror.

It is 100% possible to overcome anxiety, and the underlying illness (anxiety itself is a symptom).

judithyourholofernes · 2021-04-19T22:41:07+00:00

You know what these pieces of garbage are? They would serve humanity better if they were ground into the lowest quality meal replacement bar.

They serve their function conducting the lowest quality policing. Keeping you scared and aware of your desired function to the lowest pieces of shit on earth. Any compliment is really an insult, any insult is the highest praise.

They need to make us fear and aware of our vulnerability, because they are of the lowest status and need to feel some semblance of superiority. Which is hard going for them. They know they’re wrong, they know they’re the lowest on the totem pole.

It takes time to get used to this absolute trash, that never reflects on you. You can be an angel, sinless, perfect. They would still do this.

_mooness · 2021-04-19T21:45:29+00:00

Take a self-defense class, it will give you a confidence boost. Make sure you wear comfortable clothing, doesn’t matter what you wear, as long as you feel comfortable in it as if it’s your second skin. Men can sense insecurity on women. I don’t recommend you confront any of these men, but personally, after living in San Francisco and experiencing exactly what you’re talking about, I got fed up and started confronting them...saying shit like “Can I fucking help you?” Whenever I noticed a man gawking at me....and to be honest they were mostly just pussies and turned around after confrontation. The more I called them out, the less anxiety I felt walking past them etc. Again, I’m not telling you to confront these men, I’m just telling you what worked for me.

Bellaskywalker1 · 2021-04-19T23:09:16+00:00

This might be a dumb answer but walk around with big headphones and sunglasses. I’m also from New York but did not receive that much attention to get the harassment. I was followed once and cursed out twice. I just nodded to avoid a violent outburst, but I kept it moving.

eatchickpeas · 2021-04-20T00:49:19+00:00

focus on ur breating and keep repeating a mantra in ur head. keep telling yourself you need to walk to whatever place ur going to, that these men are not worth your time and that they will do ANYTHING for your attention

dont hunch your shoulders, dont look nervous and scared because they feed off that and will harass you more. its an unfortunate reality for women globally, men catcall women all the time, women hate it and society just shrugs and says 'well hes not being violent or actually touching you! hes lonely!' until it gets physical then its 'well you tempted him'

i love to look above their heads for a bit, makes them all confused because they are delusion. they want you to make eye contact and start a conversation but when you look in their direction but not directly at them, when you look through them they get hurt

Platipus6 · 2021-04-20T01:34:02+00:00

I noticed I've become hunched over from working from home for a year.

I just got resistance bands with an anchor for over the door and started doing rows and other back exercises. It has improved my confidence and posture a ton!

These flabby little glaze-eyed porn sick scrotes are worthless. Stride past them with your shoulders back and head high.

throwaway32132134 · 2021-04-19T17:32:55+00:00

I personally wear headphones. You can listen to podcasts or audiobooks as something to focus on to lessen the anxiety. Some men will still cat call but you can just act like you don't hear them and they will usually stop.

soundslikeautumn · 2021-04-20T00:52:18+00:00

I would say put in a pair of ear plugs or headphones, but we can't do THAT either because then we aren't aware of our surroundings and are more at risk of attacked by one of these pieces of shit.

X_Act · 2021-04-20T06:07:11+00:00

Wear obvious earbuds and pretend like you're playing music and completely in your zone and not even knowing they exist. They look real fucking dumb cat calling someone that can't even hear them...when they come to the realization you can't hear them and they're talking out loud to themselves like a moron, they get a sense of humiliation and embarrassment.

libramo0n · 2021-04-20T13:30:45+00:00

NYC summers are the WORST... i feel you. I’ve started shouting at men who cat call me: “DUDE JUST LET ME LIVE MY LIFE!!!! I DID NOT ASK FOR YOUR OPINION MAN!!!” (Always call them “dude” “man” or “bro” - the only words they can’t sexualize in their mind). It ALWAYS embarrasses them and they ALWAYS scamper away and disappear and it ALWAYS attracts attention from other people on the street who turn to look. I also like yelling at any man in earshot who didn’t stand up for me. “THANKS FOR COMING TO MY AID BRO!!! HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE SHOW!!! WHAT A LUCKY SISTER YOU MUST HAVE!!” Basically i just like yelling at men.

Sometimes when men do the half-hearted no-confidence cat call, I will get in their face and say “IM SORRY I DIDNT HEAR WHAT YOU SAID, WHATS THAT BRO?!?” With a smile on my face. Every time they say “HUH? ME? WUTTT?? DDDUUURRRRRR???”

I also highly recommend a birdie alarm, i found myself realizing i was never going to actually use pepper spray (NYC is just too crowded and there are kids, dogs, other innocent people, plus wind and my own eyes to protect) so i didn’t feel very safe carrying it.

Now that I’m armed with my alarm and my responses, I almost WANT the cat calls just so i can get off on yelling at men. The first few times made me feel anxious, nervous, angry... but now I almost welcome it.

ETA: i just talked to my friend she said she also likes to immediately put her phone up and say “SMILE FOR THE VIDEO!!” And pretend to take a video of them. They looooovvveeee this apparently 😂.

yeahhh22 · 2021-04-20T06:43:53+00:00

How is this actually the bullshit we put up with. And we are so used to it yet still adversely effected by it everyday.

bizzybumblebee · 2021-04-20T17:00:23+00:00

i've decided to pity them and laugh internally about how much more i'm making than them

Title	What can I tell myself to steel myself against cat calling?
Author	Positively-Occult
Upvotes	186
Comments	50
Date	April 19, 2021 5:20 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mu5kjw/what_can_i_tell_myself_to_steel_myself_against/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-can-i-tell-myself-to-steel-myself-against-cat.777643 https://theredarchive.com/post/777643

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