Saw this on a fem sub and just wanted to point out men do this too

Auntie_Hero · 2020-03-30T06:25:12+00:00

So all this "emotional labor" is really just "remembering shit you gotta do".

Apparently that's a huge deal for women to manage.

Blutarg · 2020-03-30T08:02:51+00:00

A to do list eliminates this .

Also women dont plan date night

MistaKPJ · 2020-03-30T06:04:43+00:00

Oh god sending out holiday gift cards, oh the stress

AnUnpopularReality · 2020-03-30T09:09:27+00:00

Oh the overwhelming emotional burden of....uh....basic adult day to day tasks and manners?

TheStumblingWolf · 2020-03-30T07:29:53+00:00

What the hell is bullshit? This is something everyone that lives in a house or an apartment does... do they want to be compensated for doing the dishes too?

Dunkolunko · 2020-03-30T06:13:02+00:00

So basic household and life management. Men never shop, give gifts, plan dates or worry about the needs of the household.

2020-03-30T06:11:49+00:00

All I got out of that was "black women have a hard time remembering shit, and they find simple tasks exhausting"

drtapp39 · 2020-03-30T11:27:06+00:00

TIL "Emotional Labor"= being an adult

cardboardbob99 · 2020-03-30T12:13:24+00:00

it assumes that everyone finds equal value in these activities. My girlfriend sends out Christmas cards because she cares about that. It all comes down to being an adult, owning your own happiness and not expecting people to cater to your whims

mutedloquacity · 2020-03-30T09:32:26+00:00

These arseholes complain about heteronormative, patriarchal gender roles, and keep insisting in putting us in those traditional roles. Men can parent, cook, do the things mentioned in this picture, and more. Yet they keep claiming we can't. If we support women working in all fields that were traditionally men's, why don't they support men doing things that used to be women's roles as well? It's almost as if they're sexist.

XxPegasusxX · 2020-03-30T12:41:04+00:00

I thought this was called everyday life?

paleta62 · 2020-03-30T11:02:04+00:00

Who the fuck does this and think it is a good idea? This shows that women are so weak mentally that simple everyday task are too much for them... The opposite effect of what they want.

jinladen040 · 2020-03-30T14:02:45+00:00

From my experience with dating, I've always felt like it was my job to pick where to go, where to eat, what we're going to do. Basically, dealing with the burden to impress said woman.

Now there have been women where I felt it was mutual, where they would want to do this or that and I was happy to oblige because it made me feel like they cared as well and it was in fact those relationships that were longer lasting and healthier.

Egalitarianwhistle · 2020-03-30T07:50:55+00:00

This belongs in mramemes. Oh wait it's already posted there.

ElectraUnderTheSea · 2020-03-30T11:02:26+00:00

She can share the burden with her partner, no one is forcing her to do all of that on her own. Reminds me of my mother who refused all offers to help her with certain tasks only for her to complain later that no one helped her; she just wanted to play the victim and I stopped caring, honestly.

And maybe while she cares about safety ratings of household products, her husband needs to worry about paying bills, managing the family's budget, worry himself sick about being the only family income during a pandemic and upcoming recession, and all other seemingly irrelevant stuff. Nothing screams "oppression" like having the responsibility of organizing get togethers, I wish that was the biggest worry and burden in my life.

double-happiness · 2020-03-30T15:58:06+00:00

'Emotional labour' is actually a bastardised and highly misunderstood term that's been completely divorced from its original meaning, which was specifically in relation to employees being required to put on emotional displays as part of their work, such as 'smiling for the customer', etc. This is the book that first introduced the term, which I read when I was doing a sociology degree. To their credit, Vogue actually get it right:

The phrase "emotional labor" was actually coined by sociologist Arlie Hochschild in her 1983 book The Managed Heart: Commercialization of Human Feeling, and refers to "a situation where the way a person manages his or her emotions is regulated by a work-related entity in order to shape the state of mind of another individual, such as a customer."

https://www.vogue.com/article/what-is-emotional-labor

It's a pity sociology is such an abused and politicised field of study. I think there is a lot of scope for a systematic study of human society, even if it will never be an 'exact science'. Unfortunately I'd say it's been taken over by biased and otherwise poorly-educated individuals with an axe to grind. Then when second-rate professors who have been employed and promoted for the wrong reasons misuse language like 'emotional labour', their students absorb the same misapprehensions, and the next thing you know the terminology has lost all its original meaning.

Charmingaxelotl · 2020-03-30T08:33:35+00:00

Is it hard to replace grocery items you use? Wtf that’s literally why we go grocery shopping.

tisseenschande · 2020-03-30T10:23:40+00:00

Being quarantined reveals a lot of the daily stress mothers have to go through each and every single day... I think i'll become a stay at home father (unless i want to keep a healthy weight)

KneeDeepThought · 2020-03-30T12:18:52+00:00

Any basic calendar app will take care of like 5 of her 8 issues. Oh no, I have to make a shopping list! So taxing! And get back to me about feeling duty to your family when you hear something go bump in the night and nudge your man to go check it out.

supermoore83 · 2020-03-30T13:34:13+00:00

All of these things are self-imposed!

Why do women feel the need to be martyrs when they make themselves suffer?

AbysmalDescent · 2020-03-30T14:45:53+00:00

Despite the obvious fact that most men do all these things in relationships too, and that there are plenty of women who don't, it is incredibly disingenuous for women, or feminists, to try to make the argument that men "burden women" because they do not do things that are a) not objectively important or necessary and b) something those women often explicitly exclude men from doing or are disproportionately advantaged in doing over men.

If a woman wants to make a big deal out of organizing family/friend get-togethers, because she really wants to have those get-togethers(and maybe her male partner doesn't care at much, which should be entirely fine for him to feel), she shouldn't be trying to fault her partner for not having those same interests, or not doing something just because she wants it. This is just manipulative and psychologically exhausting, if not another form of gas-lighting. Especially if she is putting those expectations, or shame, on her partner despite the fact that she also explicitly does those things because wants control over them(control which men are expected to relinquish) or recognition/power from being the one who sets them up(which can some times also put men at an even further social disadvantage).

If a man doesn't really want or care about the idea of a "date-night", and is happy staying in or doing something casual, then she should expect herself to take the lead(a lot of women wouldn't even do this, they would just shame men for not taking them out instead of taking the initiative themselves). Men and women are allowed to not really want or care about "date-nights".

Men should still be allowed their autonomy within a relationship without their desires being faulted when they aren't perfectly matched with her desires. Nor should these desires be treated as "necessities" just because she neurotically deems them to be necessities when they are not.

swallowingbatteries · 2020-03-30T15:21:27+00:00

Oh no, anything but writing food down on a list

Flowman · 2020-03-30T16:49:05+00:00

TIL that feminists think men aren't good at planning or logistical work.

silverdragun · 2020-03-30T09:06:09+00:00

When was the last time anybody researched safety ratings?

AxalonNemesis · 2020-03-30T08:41:48+00:00

Oh wow....

DIES-_-IRAE · 2020-03-30T15:28:37+00:00

This is what happens when you put up walls, sink into dogma, and stop interacting with men in the real world.

You get... this.

tehtreven · 2020-03-30T16:38:14+00:00

I’ve had a few long term relationships in my decade as an adult and I can tell you from experience. No woman Ive known has ever done these things.

Drekalo · 2020-03-30T17:28:49+00:00

Making arrangements for date night? Women don't do this.

Greyattimes · 2020-03-31T00:35:39+00:00

I hardly do any of these things. Sorry, not sorry. Lol

KindPrecise · 2020-03-31T05:26:59+00:00

Looks like my life and my brothers too

2020-03-30T17:02:40+00:00

This is literally just

"wahhh adulting is so hard"

fucking hell

JayPlaysBeamNG · 2020-03-30T14:07:10+00:00

This isn't a woman attacking men actively or saying "men have it easy," it is just someone ranting about what they think is hard. If it said something like "MEN HAVE IT SOO MUCH EASIER" then sure, I'd not support it. But this is an innocent post about someones hardships.

I agree that calling these things hard is ridiculous, but lazy people exist. I don't want to get out of bed every day, but I have to. Many others would say "pff, big deal. Everyone has to wake up" but that doesn't make it any less hard.

elebrin · 2020-03-30T13:20:42+00:00

I don't understand why any of these things are necessary:

Remembering occasions, selecting, purchasing, and wrapping gifts: My family doesn't give gifts. If someone in my family wants something, we buy it. We realized long ago that gifts end up mostly going to goodwill.
Sending out holiday cards: Great, you are going to mail me some cardboard that I am going to throw away in three weeks. Thanks.
Household items: Nah, we both add shit to the same Amazon cart through the week, then we alternate weeks paying for it and get everything delivered. I haven't been in a grocery store in a few years.
No kids here thankfully.
Arrangements for date night: Right. Every night pretty much is a date night. We eat two meals a day together, every day just us, and we spend our evenings together.
Sense of duty and responsibility... wtf? We are responsible to each other. We take care of each other. That's how a partnership works.
Usually the one organizing family get-togethers is my mother's brother or her father. We did organize one together at our house last year, but we did it together.
Neither of us have ever done this, ever. No safety rating is going to save you from your own stupidity of you abuse something, and even the most dangerous stuff can be just fine if you are careful with it in the right ways. We just take good care of our stuff and don't abuse it, and try not to be stupid too much.

ethanjscott · 2020-03-30T16:19:57+00:00

lol even according to this my ex was a piece of shit.

hectorgarabit · 2020-03-30T17:21:49+00:00

Well, the organizing the get together might be emotional labor for the women, but maybe getting together with family and friends is the emotional labor for the man!!

Heterodynist · 2020-03-30T17:51:42+00:00

Also, isn’t it interesting how women like these feminists want to take credit or for the “mental load” of doing something that every woman I know does by their intrinsic instinctual nature, even when they are isolated and forced to live without other humans in society. I’m sure some women don’t do these things, by natural variation, but this is a great example of people demanding credit for something that comes naturally to them. Women everywhere do these things, so this isn’t something forced on them by society. Some things are nature and some are nurture, and these things are definitely artifacts of nature. This might as well include women being “forced” to be the sex that has to give birth to babies too...

AkashUK · 2020-03-30T18:10:22+00:00

Are they going to do one for men? Oh wait, I don't think I want THEM to do one.

bastardstepchild · 2020-03-30T21:31:17+00:00

Almost as though civilization runs on pairings where one person is responsible for maintaining the household and the other is responsible for protecting it, rather than both trying to be exactly the same, all the time.

jammyjam50 · 2020-03-30T21:42:10+00:00

They manipulate the whole world just to find one idiot willing to put a ring on them. Then they pretend its the hardest position in the world. Guys. Stop fucking marrying them. Wake up.

DuneBug · 2020-03-30T22:15:50+00:00

how dare they sexualize her with that low cut top and hourglass figure.

notajoey · 2020-03-30T23:48:36+00:00

"researching the safety ratings of household products"?? Seriously? that's a burden for women? Hmmm I wonder if it is safe to use bleach as mouthwash...GTFO ho

mgtowolf · 2020-03-30T23:51:59+00:00

If you find all that mundane shit hard and stressful, why the fuck did you have a family? Being single would probably be too much for you, let alone having to think about other people. You want a gold star for wiping your ass and washing your hands after you shit too?

KatieBumble · 2020-03-30T11:23:08+00:00

I don't think the point of this is that all of those things are incredibly difficult hard labour that men never do. I think it is more referring to the fact that for one individual doing all of these in any relationship, does take effort and to make sure you're recognising that.

" Feeling a sense of duty and responsibility to take care of the household and needs of the family." If you're part of a couple who each work full time, then it doesn't all fall upon you - male or female. Even think of it with regards to stay-at-home parents as well - reminding them that just because they're not at work doesn't mean managing a household isn't taxing.

Just because it is accompanied by an image of a woman doesn't mean it is a criticism of men.

DubsPackage · 2020-03-30T14:11:55+00:00

See this is why we need Christianity back in society.

So that women have crosses they can nail themselves to, otherwise they sperg out on the internet.

Like men don't remember anything, we don't keep track of anything, we don't take care of our family, we don't have shit circled on our calenders.

Bullet journaling is your friend.

Title	Saw this on a fem sub and just wanted to point out men do this too
Author	Random_redditor3626
Upvotes	230
Comments	64
Date	March 30, 2020 6:01 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/frld0z/saw_this_on_a_fem_sub_and_just_wanted_to_point/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/saw-this-on-a-fem-sub-and-just-wanted-to-point-out.855951 https://theredarchive.com/post/855951

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