When you hear a man say "my wife won't let me do that" or "I'm not allowed", that would be considered controlling/abusive if reversed.

I think it's an interesting point to notice when talking about the so-called "power dynamics" in a relationship; if you hear a man saying how he is "not allowed" to do something because his wife doesn't "let him", it sounds normal. It's something you hear, and is often a point in comedy shows/movies. A wife doesn't let her husband do something, or makes him do something he doesn't want to do, etc. Imagine he's invited out to a weekend trip with friends, but his wife "doesn't let him go."

But imagine the reverse- imagine a woman saying that her husband "doesn't allow" her to do something. Imagine if her friends invited her out to a weekend trip, but she didn't go because she says her husband "won't let her." People would say he was controlling and abusive.

What I find interesting about this is how it reflects the concept of "power dynamics" related to gender. Feminists sometimes justify lacking attention to male DV victims or male issue in general because of men holding an alleged "power dynamic", which somehow makes it "different." Firstly, that's abstract nonsense, but secondly...I think this shows that men don't really hold this "power" at all. If it's the social norm for a wife to control her husband, but socially unacceptable for the reverse, who really has the power dynamic? If society accepts a different standard for one group and allows that group to control the other, wouldn't that group be in possession of a "power dynamic"?