My soon to be ex wife became obsessed with kpop and got involved with a new group of friends at the beginning of the fall of last year. As well as going back to work after being a stay at home mom for sometime and having a hard time keeping a job all throughout are marriage, 14 years. We had some disagreements about the amount of time she was spending on it. We were both working a lot along with are child duties, child is 6. My job was very demanding and a point of contention and I have been trying to find something different for the last 2 years, I would have to work late often do to staff shortage and the pandemic. l was was making 6 figures, so it was hard just to walk away. She also got in shape, and I was working on it and am fit again now, another point of contention.

I got jealous at times and wish I would handled things differently with the kpop thing. I did about 70 percent of the house work, handled all the finances per her request. I got are child ready every morning and made them both breakfast and always tryed to do take care of them on the weekends. I did not mined doing theses things because I loved her and are child and wanted to be a family man. I put her through school 3 times and was always the responsible one which is kind of what this is about.

We had very little debt and overall the American dream of a life. I came to realize after therapy, that I gave her everything I thought she wanted but not what she needed. She was asking me to be more sensitive and I was generally trying. But I think she wanted be to be more romantic, which i was trying aswell. She has always like spending money and this was hard to balance with her wanting me there and having to support the family and her habits.

I took more intrest in her hobbies learned how to make Korean food and watched the concerts with her. Again, I really was trying, but came up short. I text her through out the day (always done this). Things like I miss you, how are you doing. Ect. I feel looking back thought she thought I was just going through the motions of it and I missed all the signs and regret not seing it with everything in me. I feel like I was watching her fall away and there was nothing I could do about it or I just did not want to see it. I still love her and it's hard.

My wife asked for a devorce at the beginning of December. She said she had been unhappy for 3 years me and her family had no idea. She wanted a fast tracked devorce. We went to mediation late December and I regret it. She gave me everything for the most part in the devorce. I also got primary custody of are child because she wants to travel to South Korea to be with people like her. I did not have a choice at the time because i did want are child in Korea. She has always had a hard time making friends. She is not koren and does not speak the language. She asked me to tell her family with her and I made sure she told them about her plan to go to south Korea, even though she tried to avoid it.

After which she agreed to not go because her family told her she would be excileied. She agreed to stay and rase are child with me but would not change the paperwork. Since then, she had started dating a koren man across the country and wants custody of are child but does not want to stay near me. Her mother has been her primary care taker most of her life and I am questioning letting her have her. I love my child, but think she may be better off with her mom. I'm also am going to need to switch jobs to keep her, which will be a paycut, but less travel.

My ex has been very sheltered and religious up until recently. I question her stability. We married young, and I think this may be a mid life crisis and combination of bad influences or medcation changes. She has anxiety and depression.

We were supposed to start traveling the world this year and I feel like I got stuck holding the bag. I don't mind paying child support, but i understand that gets really nasty and changes over time. I don't like the idea of my fate being in her hands or a Judge. I just feel like I sacrificed everything and gave her everything and if anyone should get to just go do what they want it's me. I've always considered myself selfless up until now. My dream was for all of to be together, even if that was in Korea. Which I agreed to move. Am I being an asshole? I'm just angry, sad, fearful, ans lonely, I miss my family.