Dating again!

HelixFish · 2020-08-06T18:57:57+00:00

I really don’t get the “no kids = red flags”, it’s utter bullshit and totally arbitrary. There are as many red flags in that category as in any other.

Real red flags: can’t handle money, horrible credit, debt that doesn’t make sense, credit card debt, abusive, needs their drug to function, it’s always someone else’s fault, anger problems, doesn’t enjoy sex, stuck on their ex, can’t make their own decisions, personal space is a mess, doesn’t take care of themselves, no compassion, their kids hate them, no hobbies/interests, certain mental issues, won’t take meds for their mental issues, bad hygiene, incompatible lifestyle... that’s a small list.

Edit: don’t forget these red flags also apply to you my dudes. So also sort your shit out. 💪🏼

XNonameX · 2020-08-06T18:19:51+00:00

No. Some people know what they want, she apparently figured it out before making a life long mistake (from her perspective).

JohnnyMnemo · 2020-08-06T18:36:56+00:00

What? No. Kudos for her for knowing and identifying her needs and wants, and that kids are incompatible with that.

Also obviously she's too old to have them now anyway so isn't it rather moot?

I don't understand all of this Red Flag shit either. It seems like RF are more about talking ourselves out of reasons to be dating than actually a path to happiness. If you don't want to be coupled up, just say so and stop trying to find excuses.

zelderwelder79 · 2020-08-06T18:53:26+00:00

I met a child free woman in my early forties after 15 years in a full on children everywhere relationship it’s been wonderful looking at life through her eyes and living in a child and child free relationship. If anything it’s given more focus to our one on one relationship

2020-08-06T19:44:26+00:00

Doesn't want kids - personal choice. Doesn't have kids - personal choice.

Over 50 - probably can't have kids (menopause)

dday_throwaway3 · 2020-08-06T19:59:58+00:00

A woman over 50 isn't fertile enough to have children.

Is she younger than you?

adl3026 · 2020-08-06T20:28:58+00:00

Someone in an earlier response mentioned sex. I am in my late 50s and all the women I've met from 50 to 62 aren't interested in sex or even intimacy. A hug or a peck on the cheek is all. Is it just me? I understand why men like younger women.....lol

jimsmythee · 2020-08-06T21:28:52+00:00

That's not a red flag, that's just her knowing her life.

SpacemanLost · 2020-08-07T02:57:17+00:00

no. Nothing wrong with that.

It's much more of a concern if she has kids living with her, and her motive for dating might be to find someone to help parent them or provide for the household. Not that such is necessarily a bad thing to choose to do, but rather it might be an ulterior motive that is not overtly disclosed.

Trant2433 · 2020-08-07T01:46:14+00:00

From experience, I’d say many women without kids (built who don’t have medical issues) are very very picky, and that’s why they ended up single and child~~less~~free.

In big, liberal East coast cities like DC and NY, there are more educated women than men. They spend their 20s in school, half their 30s working to climb the corporate / government ladder, and then at 33-36 have a OH-Shit moment when they realize that they’re getting too old for kids.

They then spend years serial dating online, initially getting pumped and dumped by the 8s and 9s who will never commit to a 35 year old women.

These women then begin to hate men, not realizing that the reason they’re having bad luck is because they’re dating guys way out of their league who just want sex.

So eventually, they will lower their standards just a tad to 6s and 7s. Once in a while they’ll get lucky l, and find a decent match, and rush a wedding, dream house, and then pump out a few kids (with the help of IVF) before it’s too late. A lot of these guys end up divorced in 7 years.

But the unlucky gals end up at 40 without kids or a hubby because they refused to date men who were their equals (5s) and who might not make as much money as them.

It’s hit or miss with these chicks. They’re usually pretty smart, so the conversation is okay. OTOH, their attractiveness is going bye-bye at a rapid rate, while they’re used to an expensive lifestyle full of overpriced meals in trendy neighborhoods, world travel every year, etc.

Sometimes these women don’t seem worth the time, energy, and cash. It makes more sense for me (when I dated) to just to stay completely single and not commit to anything long term nor move in together, and instead date freely, and take vacations myself to fun places in Latin America and Asia.

MNCPA · 2020-08-06T20:06:37+00:00

Remember to date carefully after a divorce. There are many new red flags, that you may have not seen before. I think that being over 50 without kids is not a red flag. I think that being over 50 with a newborn might be a red flag because that kid will be college age when they are in retirement.

cosmicjoker1776 · 2020-08-06T20:46:57+00:00

If she didn't have any long term relationships, then that's a red flag. No kids is fine, the thing with that would be does she treat kids well, just tolerate them, or outright dislikes them.

j_k_802 · 2020-08-09T23:05:40+00:00

Old maids are real even in this century. Various reasons others have stated. I suppose if you are skilled you can bed them but it’s a lot of work...if they haven’t used their pussy much in years it and they don’t respond like a woman who is this age and enjoys sex.

Title	Dating again!
Author	LandOnMyFeet
Upvotes	9
Comments	20
Date	August 6, 2020 6:18 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/i4x1be/dating_again/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/dating-again.817990 https://theredarchive.com/post/817990

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