I previously posted about taking my soon-to-be ex-wife (STBX) back after initially filing for divorce. The divorce was dismissed while we were in court, and we agreed to attend marriage therapy and make other efforts to salvage our marriage.

The reason I originally filed for divorce was her infidelity, which lasted for 5 out of our 6 years together. I discovered text messages between her and her affair partner (AP) discussing their sexual encounters and meetups. This discovery came about 5 months after our wedding.

Even before we were married, there were red flags. During an argument at a restaurant, she boasted about having multiple men wanting to marry her. When I checked her phone that night, I found messages from a man, though most had been deleted. She claimed he was just a childhood friend and denied that anything happened between them when I asked.

Later, I uncovered more evidence on her MacBook. Since her iPhone messages were synced to the laptop, I found messages she hadn't deleted. One message, sent the week of our wedding, asked this man if he would take her if she left me.

I now feel ashamed of myself for not going through with the divorce the first time. I filed for divorce again a couple of weeks ago. I noticed she was showing the same behavior as when she was cheating before. Her story about the affair kept changing: first, she said they only had sex once, then she claimed it happened before she met me, and finally, she blamed my family for her actions. My family didn't like her, but they were fine with her before we decided to get married, so I know she's lying.

People who know about our situation have told me she's with a new guy. I'm not sure if it's the first AP or someone else, but I don't care anymore. I'm happy I filed for divorce.

I was sad a few days ago, as you can see from some of my previous posts. But I've come to a realization: she didn't love or care about me. The way she used to talk to me and treat me was terrible. She would tell me I wasn't a man, hit me, and verbally abuse me. I would try my best to calm her down. When I did get angry, it was usually in front of her friends and family, so it looked like I was the problem most of the time. I'm not saying I was perfect - I made some inexcusable mistakes too.

Now I'm dealing with my friends and family telling me that she's spreading rumors about me and claiming I was the one doing wrong. It's frustrating, but I'm trying not to let it get to me.

I'm writing all this to say: DON'T EVER TAKE A CHEATER BACK. The saying that they will cheat again is often true. Of course, there are some exceptions if the person is genuinely trying and putting in the work to make amends, but 9 out of 10 times, they won't change.

I'm working on bettering myself. It's hard, and I hate that she seems to have it easy. Her family has money and pays for everything for her, so I've heard she's living it up while I'm working on getting a better-paying job. I moved out of my parents' house to have peace of mind because they would tell me everything she was saying about me and doing, since they have some mutual friends.

Thank you for reading my rant. Any advice or words of encouragement would be appreciated.