Friendly divorce?

crypto_keeper88 · 2022-06-02T20:51:44+00:00

Mine was amicable as we were able to live in the same house in different rooms until it was over. Afterwards, we sold the house, parted ways and haven't kept in contact since. I guess that's about as good as you can do.

No_Associate_9037 · 2022-06-02T18:54:02+00:00

I believe you have to act as it is business when you both agree that is the correct thing to do. I am going through a divorce now and we are being okay. It all depends on how you define friendly lol.

76ersPhan11 · 2022-06-02T18:56:56+00:00

Wait until she starts dating and bringing the kids around him.

fewdo · 2022-06-02T19:54:45+00:00

Don't try to defend yourself or explain your actions or emotions. It doesn't matter any more. You're not going to fix it and your reasons don't matter.

Document and record like you're being entrapped. Then you can throw it all away in ten years or something if she stays reasonable.

pegleg_legal · 2022-06-03T07:37:27+00:00

Yes, it is possible and the majority of divorces that I have come across between reasonable people are reasonably amicable. Pitfalls are one person getting input from a third party, like a friend going through a divorce who wants a buddy to suffer with, riling them up and getting them to go for blood.

Mental health issues, revelation of affairs, financial misconduct or other unpleasant surprises also tend to blow things up.

One person secretly not wanting to get the divorce or openly not wanting to get divorced but being compliant by going along with the process often results in last minute intransigence.

If both people are committed to the divorce and the anger/resentment/emotional levels are manageable, the knowledge that a good amount of the marital estate could end up in the hands of the lawyers, rather than the kids, tends to be sufficient pressure to keep things together.

Again, the key is knowing whether she is really okay with the divorce. If she's not, then there will most likely come the time where something is said that provokes her to turn on a dime and either become hostile or intransigent.

jaihind123456 · 2022-06-03T09:37:56+00:00

I guess it depends on how to define friendly. We are 2 years in same house. 1 kid with us and 1 gone university. We dont speak, avoid each other and there is always tension. We live separate lives.

I find it horrible every day ad even though I know we will be divorced and in diff houses soon, I feel sorry for children seeing how wierd it is. They prob dont even renember the good times we used to have. I look at others and feel envious of what I had. I look at her and feel sadness and anger that we are so strangers now. I know it will happen soon but seeing your ex every day is brutal and unhealthy and now I realise the quicker you physically separate the better

I still wish I could have my old family and wife back but that is counter productive and I think that is fear of the unknown.... there is no win win in divorce

Orwellisnow · 2022-06-03T12:59:58+00:00

All women start out saying they want to do things amicably, but the second anything they want is in the table, (money, house, power over you, time with kids) they will stab you in the neck and laugh while they dance on your grave.

upfnothing · 2022-06-02T20:47:18+00:00

We had one and now she initiated a petition. Fight for everything now so you won’t fight later.

derelictherds · 2022-06-02T22:34:32+00:00

It's possible but depends on the personalities involved. What has actually been discussed? Custody? Support? Property? If you're four months into discussions and not agreeing on major divorce items, then you're probably headed for conflict.

black65Cutlass · 2022-06-03T11:57:08+00:00

I guess it just depends on your definition of friendly. My ex-wife has some mental health issues and I didn't want her dragging her feet and slowing down the process with meltdowns so I was extra nice during the divorce. I paid her what she wanted from the equity in the house (more than she really deserved) and even helped her move her belongings out of the house (I kept the house). She kept going on about how we would still be great friends the whole time I was helping her move. I just wanted her shit out of the house so I wouldn't have to see her anymore, and it would have taken her 6 months if she did it herself. She was telling me about her new "friend" that she started seeing only about 2 weeks after the separation, like I really want to hear that.

She keeps texting me occasionally about mail that got forwarded to her new address and asking if I want to meet so I can get the mail. She also includes small talk in her texts, how was your weekend, doing anything fun, crap like that. I ignore the small talk now that the divorce is final and I have her name off the title to the house. The last time she contacted me about mail, I just asked her to send it to me, I have no desire to see or talk to her. She did a lot of emotional damage to me during the marriage and I have no desire to really ever see her again. I am lucky we didn't have children together.

I kept it amicable during the divorce, she still thinks we are friends. I think otherwise.

eyesayhello · 2022-06-03T22:50:28+00:00

My ex and her husband successfully did this. But, they out themselves both aside and fixated on their children. It's not typical. Women typically view the children as child support value.

ChillaxBrosef · 2022-06-06T01:27:26+00:00

My scenario only: this was my goal as well. I thought we could do it, I really could. But it just wasnt in the cards and it caused more problems than just cutting it off for a bit. Doesnt mean you cant come back and revisit but I should have cut it off, just made things worse .

Title	Friendly divorce?
Author	ButterscotchHour4699
Upvotes	4
Comments	18
Date	June 2, 2022 6:34 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/v3flqv/friendly_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/friendly-divorce.1117517 https://theredarchive.com/post/1117517

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