Hobbies?

Reflog1791 · 2024-04-29T17:58:32+00:00

Try golf. Buy cheap clubs, get a lesson, and join local men’s club. Cured my depression.

The nature aspect, new friendships, and an extremely challenging game are depression cures.

I think it’s especially helpful for men battling divorce bs because you can think about your swing, setup, putting stroke, strategy, etc. throughout the day. There is no time to rehash old boring divorce drama in your head when you’ve got a tournament this weekend with your favorite group of guys.

ElectronicAd6570 · 2024-04-29T00:00:28+00:00

Depression

Character_Hippo90 · 2024-04-28T21:01:34+00:00

Divorce is a life altering experience, one that derails so much of a person's everyday activities, especially if they've been married a number of years. So, it's understandable to fine oneself having a different mindset. What matters is to keep the focus on yourself and your emotional growth.

0neMinute · 2024-04-28T17:50:23+00:00

Hey I’m in the same boat. Used to be into video games etc Now i enjoy none of it as i associate it with the failure of my marriage and a reason my stbxw cheated. My new hobbies seem to be about killing the old me and making something new and attractive? I’m into bjj kick boxing, salsa dancing, i travel to a new place every three months, hiking etc. Essentially I’ve gone from a hermit to something else

sak144 · 2024-04-28T17:43:22+00:00

What you are describing is ok. You are trying to find yourself and discover what makes you happy. Don't beat yourself up over not sticking with something or bouncing around from interest to interest. It's actually pretty healthy after spending most of your adult life as "us" and a couple - you're trying to figure out what will bring joy to you in your new life.

Keep on trucking brother. I suggest buying a cheap drone; fishing; a little bit different spin on gym work like yoga; learning how to be a great cook by going to a place like Sur La Table for a cooking class. Keep experimenting.

WakeUpAndGoooo · 2024-04-28T17:23:10+00:00

Take a safety course and buy a motorcycle. Two wheeled wind therapy is a thing. It's a Hobbie that you can wrap into others as well. Seeing new places and having experiences, it's incredible for the soul.

Several-Eagle4141 · 2024-04-28T16:18:35+00:00

I’m painting figurines of MechWarrior. Look at my profile. I’m 46

chrjenjulluk · 2024-04-28T16:11:15+00:00

After 45 year marriage and fifty years together my wife simply leaves to be with birth daughter and our two young grandchildren to be the Granny/Nanny. I am still to best of my abilities being 100% available for our two adopted and very challenged young adult children. Who are devastated by her leaving to be with older birth daughter. We don’t fit into my eldest daughter’s family dynamic according to my lawyer son-in-law. So feel your struggle 100%. I cannot watch any TV. Used to exercise everyday, walk, had an audio and video hobby making family fun short videos. Lost contact with friends. Seeing effect on our two beautiful children is devastating to me. Past two Christmas Holiday’s were just so sad. I tried. So I am much older than you and I know I am getting better slowly. I so feel what you are Going through. I wish there was an easy solution but some things are hard to overcome and it manifests itself in an inability to concentrate on almost anything for long. Seems like Joy may have abandoned you but it absolutely 100% will return but it is up to you to engage socially, men’s divorce group, church’s often have most helpful groups and professional counselors. Idea #1 Volunteer anywhere there is a need. I love our local Harry Chapin Food Bank. Little by little my friend. Kindness and compassion of others is a call or short drive away. I wish you the very best!

crak84 · 2024-04-28T15:33:10+00:00

As others have said, sounds like depression.

For 2 years leading up to the end of my marriage, I slowly lost interest in just about every hobby I had: home brewing/distilling, bowling, video games, board games, TV shows. The only hobbies that didn't really waver were weightlifting and doing home projects. I'm about a year past finding out she was contemplating divorce and beginning the whole process.

I got medicated, worked less, and pulled myself mainly out of the depression.

My desire for those hobbies has been forever changed. I still have almost no interest in home brewing or bowling. Your experience with video games and tv shows is similar to my own, I can find enjoyment in them, but it's such a collosal task to force myself to sit down with them.

I did pick up one new one though: riding my new motorcycle around. Classic "midlife crisis" purchase, but goddamn does it feel good to take that out and just drive around for an hour.

So between weightlifting, home projects, and the bike, I know the DESIRE for hobbies is still there and working, it just transitioned away from older hobbies. Bittersweet, but at least I know the depression had lifted.

tragicaddiction · 2024-04-28T14:48:51+00:00

suggest you join up in social settings may it be sports or meetups like hiking groups, cooking classes, something to get you out of the house and moving.

you will feel better if you do because sitting at home miserable is definitely not fixing anything.

Realistic-Wizard8230 · 2024-04-28T14:15:00+00:00

Gaming and TV was my escape when I was trapped in a shitty marriage situation in the same house. Now that I’m out on my own I have a hard time getting interested or wanting to play games. It just feels hollow now that it isn’t an escape.

I started leaning into the physical fitness activities as new hobbies. Makes me feel better, is better for my health, and afterwards I usually feel better about playing a game and enjoying it more. Maybe try that?

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-04-28T14:13:41+00:00

I say forget those hobbies for now and get good at the dating apps. It sucks at first but after a while you’ll get good at it. I feel like a rock star these days compared to my old life. These girls are wild these days🤣

frogmicky · 2024-04-28T13:54:08+00:00

Wow you sound like me, A lack of interests sounds like a classic depression scenario but I'm no therapist. I'd suggest you get a therapist and tell them about you lack of interest in your old hobbys.

I have a passing interest in things that ive devoted lots of time to. Maybe pick up a new hobby, I'm thinking about getting a new video game as soon as I snap out of whatever it is I'm going through good luck to you.

SelectionNo3078 · 2024-04-28T13:40:54+00:00

Somewhat.

Especially at beginning of separation I had a hard time focusing on shows I wanted to watch

2+ years later it isn’t back to how it was when we were together

Maybe because we watched shows together and now generally I’m watching them alone

Title	Hobbies?
Author	LeftySmithy
Upvotes	12
Comments	16
Date	April 28, 2024 1:28 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1cf6ezv/hobbies/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/hobbies.1516701 https://theredarchive.com/post/1516701

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