How long did your contested divorce take from filing to agreement?

LVDivorced23 · 2024-05-02T13:52:43+00:00

We unofficially agreed to 50/50 for Custody of kids in about three months. My ex (F) was trying to prevent me from seeing the kids at all at first, until I (M) was able to get my lawyer to react and send messages to the other side that I was not going away quietly into the night like my ex wanted me so she could get all kinds of child support. Once her side realized that she had the higher income, and she might have to pay me, there tune changed quickly and settled on 50/50.

About three months after we unofficially settled custody, between the lawyers and us, the Judge rubber stamped it and made it paper official.

It took about 12 months more, 118 months total, to resolve the house, debt, and other fun stuff because her side would stall whenever possible.

My funny story is during one settlement conference with a sitting Judge at the court, her side pissed off the woman Judge so much, the Judge had them thrown out of the court house with the Bailiff walking them all the way out. It must of been a rare event, because two weeks that Bailiffs knew who my ex and lawyer were, and was still talking about what happened all of the weeks later.

Quaddro21 · 2024-05-02T04:17:10+00:00

She was served Feb 12, pre-trial hearing is in 2 weeks. I went for full custody, but I’m gonna bite the bullet I think and not fight the 50/50 if she wants it. Cohabitation has sucked but at least I get to see both my kids every day. I dread the day I don’t.

Initial_Tomatillo_94 · 2024-05-02T03:04:12+00:00

Thankfully mine only took 13 months from the day I moved out until I had my papers. Mine turned down an extremely generous offer I made and then realized when you fuck around you find out. After hearing the pre-trial position of the judge she agreed in mediation. I am shocked it didn’t end up back before the judge. That would have been another 4-5 months.

Cheap_House8696 · 2024-05-02T01:35:16+00:00

Pre trial conf in June will be a year in June

karavan7 · 2024-05-02T00:43:04+00:00

Apply pressure. You cannot just go for custody. Go for everything and pay nothing under any circumstances until there is a signed decree. No house payments, cars, credit cards, joint anything. Sorry. Divorce is a shit process with unfair laws.

Gattsama · 2024-05-02T00:35:44+00:00

Once one party decides to fuck around there is NOTHING you can do about it, except get to a courtroom asap. Mediation won't work. I. My case, no kids, simple (if valuable assets), and I was transparent with everything. Our divorce should have taken a week.

But the eX canceled mediation twice. Switched attorneys a few months in. I was paying for everything +$3-4k/mo of extra money for her life; took me to court for court ordered temporary support of $15k/mo (that including the mortgage, all bills, etc). Took $7.5k cashiers check out of the joint account. Maxed out the joint VISA (+$9k) and maxed out the personal line of credit (from $0 to $20k).

We had to sell the house. This was Feb 2022. I wanted to list May-Aug because interest rates were predicted to increase. Back then, bidding wars still happened. She refused to even discuss it. Finally agreed to list the house for 1wk in Nov! We could have sold for $100-250k more previously, but whatever. We get one, and only one offer, on the house. Asking $1.3M, they offered $1.26 + 2 points. She refuses to accept. I move hell and high water to try to close this deal. I offered her an unequal distribution so that she would receive the money as if we got a full offer, she refused. So she turned down a full price offer on the house.

Once that happened, I realized she had zero intention to be agreeable. I sent an email CCed to her attorney, her, my attorney and the mediator (3rd session scheduled in 1 wk) stating that I had ZERO belief that we are negotiating in good faith. She has refused a full price offer on the home and then tried to extort me to get a deal (she asked for 5 consessions including a huge spousal support amount). I said I am canceling mediation, we are going no contact, and see you in court Jan 2023.

And low and behold, magically she was agreeable to mediation. We had one 8hr mediation session, and the entire divorce was wrapped up. This including keeping my 'offer' of an unequal distribution for the home equity, so she got 55/45 split! I didn't care and just wanted it done. Got the home sale pushed through (which was a huge series of drama and crazy BS).

With all that said. I filed Feb 1 and divorce was finalized Nov 17th. I truly believe the only reason she finally came to the table is because a judge would make a 50/50 split and ruling and be done. Her actions wasted ~$400k in potential wealth. She lost about $250k, and I lost about $125k.

My cousin has been trying to divorce his STBX for over 4 years. To be fair, he is wishy-washy, but she always has some new need or bill, and just keeps dragging things out, disappearing for months at a time, and teasing him with custody of their child.

If she's not workable, just pass go and proceed to binding arbitration or trial asap. Nothing else works.

Moms_Sketti88 · 2024-05-02T00:18:21+00:00

What state are you in?

Famous_Vermicelli_56 · 2024-05-02T00:08:28+00:00

Looking at over a year so far. Unless we settle outside of court.

Diablo_Canyon2 · 2024-05-01T23:29:27+00:00

Going on 2 years and no end in sight

redwhiteandfreedom · 2024-05-01T22:50:36+00:00

Same boat. I filed early Pre trial mid may. She’s done nothing. So I assume it’ll go another 45 days after mid may before anything of substance. I expect 6 months at best

Title	How long did your contested divorce take from filing to agreement?
Author	Sinuks
Upvotes	7
Comments	15
Date	May 1, 2024 10:41 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1chzmnm/how_long_did_your_contested_divorce_take_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-long-did-your-contested-divorce-take-from.1517074 https://theredarchive.com/post/1517074

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