My wife and I both turned 40 last year, and we've been married almost 21 years. We have three kids under 10.

Our marriage has been strained for awhile, and I think we've been heading toward divorce for about six months now. We have plenty of issue, but one in particular has me really concerned.

For the last few years I have been involved with a local dance studio. This started because of my daughters, and was actually my wife's idea to start with. I take adult classes with mostly women, but I also dance with a few teenage girls. I've done partnering classes with minors and even performed with a 14-year-old. Most of this doesn't matter, but it's here for background. I'm respected in the studio, and there's never been any suggestion that I have any inappropriate intentions.

Without getting into details, my wife has recently started to suggest that I have "weird vibes" with the girls. She's used the "p-word" once or twice, and vaguely accused me of grooming because I friended an 18-year-old on Facebook. She's subtly threatened to escalate by contacting the director of the dance studio. She has the power to ruin my reputation easily, and I'm sure she knows it.

So what do I do? Is it time to contact a lawyer? I'm already taking notes and recording conversations. I'm just afraid of the damage this woman can do to me if she decides to start making accusations.