My wife is selfish and toxic but really smart and educated. We almost divorced beginning of this year because of false police call after argument and a lot of lies I found out about. We decided to "work on it" and I'm staying so far I have no savings because everything I made over the last 7 years I invested in marriage and future together :wedding, brand new cars, house in long Island, renovations for 300K that I did myself because I'm a contractor so more like 450K if I was getting paid for my work and two kids ages 2 and 5. She makes a lot of money and a lot of the net worth is her contribution too. I know she loves the kids and want them to have a father but a lot of times I get a read from her behavior that she's doing it for her convenience and what I mean by that is that we're both slaves of our wealth (lifestyle inflation) we both make a lot but that comes with a lot of hours away from home and kids. I'm a contractor and I'm the boss so I get the privilege to control my schedule as needed with kids and family life. If I divorce her most likely she wouldn't be able to keep this life style without me even with high salary because the bills are really high together with the child care and she's getting back from office at 7:30 pm most of the days. so I take care of the kids before she comes back and she takes care of them in the morning because I leave early. I get this feeling that she's plotting behind my back and is just trying to wait it out until kids get a little bigger and expanses lower to get rid of me. I started to set some money aside for myself but it is nothing when you have 1.4 mil already invested into this toxic relationship. I found out she lied to me a lot over the years from her messages and emails and since I confronted her about some of them she figured out where I got the info. So now she's very private and always keeps her phone with her even after stating that she wants me in her life and will never lie to me again. She walks far away from me to answer calls from her friends and even when I wanted to look at the pictures she took of me with the kids on a trip she sat there every time making sure I only look at the pictures and nothing else. I found out that she settled for me because I was the best choice and not because of love and she was talking to friend about divorcing me once the kids are bigger 3 years ago even that we only had one kid at the moment and that she was still in love with her toxic ex year after we got married and many more lies that I didn't know about until she couldn't hide her real personality anymore and made that Police Call when she exploded in argument. Until then I never spayed on her for years and always trusted her My question is how do I protect myself from being played and used if that's the case? Is there any way maybe like an app or something that I can get on her phone to find out she's not plotting against me and plying a game behind my back?

TL : DR Almost ended up in divorce and now trying to work on marriage but I have a felling she's plotting behind my back and she has a history of it to show