Lost my friends.

sicrm · 2022-06-04T17:56:17+00:00

they weren’t really your friends then.

I couldn’t imagine not reaching out to someone I actually care about while they were going through and after a divorce.

joining a fighting club could help you a lot.

tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again.

Then_Rooster_9213 · 2022-06-05T04:01:48+00:00

You want friends? Let me know. I've got an eclectic group.

I've got boys that have been my boys for 35 years.

And then friends from work.

And then the neighbor across the street.

The great thing is.... When I get all of them together, it's like all of us are bros.

We're your bros here man. All of us.

JonathanApple · 2022-06-04T18:19:10+00:00

We can be besties guy Oregon. Same state at least.

I still have my bros we are all just older with our own lives and it isn't ever going to be like age 20-35 again. It is what it is.

Future_Fresh-31 · 2022-06-04T23:25:42+00:00

Feel the same bro. Got Covid today. She claimed the house with a false restraining order on me . I feel very alone have two little kids. She blocks them from the phone but she can dial them when I have them…

WorkingItOutSomeday · 2022-06-04T18:32:11+00:00

I'm still working on it. I was good for a solid month until this last week. Yesterday was real bad

Grey_Bear_40 · 2022-06-04T22:48:05+00:00

She got all the friends. I left the state. Then our mutual friends started calling me saying she went off the deep end and they now see how she was crazy. Give it time. If they are true friends they will come around. Otherwise find new ones.

saygrace2 · 2022-06-05T00:07:48+00:00

A lot of women value their friendships more than their personal relationships with their significant other so she most likely did damage control early on to ensure that the friends would take her side. She most likely fabricated her side of the story to make her look like the victim. Been there… the real ones will stick around

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-06-05T00:19:32+00:00

If your friends left you after the divorce, they were never your friends to start with.

Gxl4 · 2022-06-04T18:54:08+00:00

What are your hobbies?

Future_Fresh-31 · 2022-06-04T23:28:37+00:00

Question. I’m in Oregon too. Are you happy with the house / retirement thing? My concern is how to buy my next house if I do that

SnooStories5744 · 2022-06-05T02:17:00+00:00

I have been spending the last year trying to reach establish friendships. I’ve learned to let go of some and have been able to pick up some that I lost during my marriage. The true friends were back in my life and understanding. Let the ones go that are not being true friends.

Ridethelightning1987 · 2022-06-05T02:32:59+00:00

Listen man. Like any divorce or break up folks don’t wanna pick sides. Reach out. If they don’t answer back find new friends. Fuckem

Spodee5 · 2022-06-05T03:59:05+00:00

They were never really your friends to begin with. Make new ones.

calgarywalker · 2022-06-05T18:12:37+00:00

Ya… she got the house and looks like I’ll be able to keep my retirement. It’s tight but here’s what I’m doing. First, I gave up on the idea of owning a house. That sucked but I realized I didn’t want that lifestyle.. I’m not a gardener, or into lots of chores that come with owning a house, not to mention all the costs when things need maint/replacing. I got a cheap condo. Needs some work but I figure that will let me ease into the lifestile after 20 years of dealing with house problems. Friends… well, I figure that when I went to school I had freinds that were going through the same thing. When in college, ditto… then work friends… I figure now I need to meet others near me going through the same thing now.

pegleg_legal · 2022-06-05T06:07:25+00:00

Why don’t you reach out? Wtf.

afc74nl · 2022-06-06T16:17:52+00:00

I went through similar in that almost 10 years on she has somehow ended up closer to the friendship group and they were all my friends before I even met her. It was a gradual thing over time as they were great in the early days but they reached out less and less and it came to real head last year when I was not invited to an annual birthday party at all which really hurt even more so when I later discovered that my ex had hooked up with someone there.

It sucks, in my case it was partially my fault as I assumed they would be there even more so as it was her who cheated on me when it all happened. When they started to not be there I did not really make an effort (I just thought sod them!) all the while the ex made a real effort with them I think.

I have started the road back with one or 2 of the male friends in ther group but it will never be the same. I have got used to doing my own thing and as an introvert sometimes it is too easy to just stay in and watch TV than make an effort that plus making new friends as an adult is not easy at all.

Hang in there and do all the stuff I have not up till now and try and get yourself out there. All the best.

Title	Lost my friends.
Author	guy_oregon1
Upvotes	13
Comments	47
Date	June 4, 2022 5:45 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/v4tyya/lost_my_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/lost-my-friends.1117244 https://theredarchive.com/post/1117244

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