Managing intimacy without commitment ?

LoveCrispApples · 2025-09-26T15:56:33+00:00

It's a slippery slope, but it can be done. The keys are to:

1) Never forget how badly you were hurt by someone you would have done anything for (because it could happen again) and

2) Never lose sight of the fact that the only person who could ever stop you from having the future you want and need...is you.

2024 sucked. I spent 8 months after the separation/divorce sifting through the wreckage of my marriage and my shattered heart, not even looking at a woman. I've spent the last 8 months getting laid. A LOT. With all 3 women I've been intimate with so far in 2025, I've made it crystal clear that I'm still not 100% healed, I've got boundaries galore, and my daughter, whom I have full custody of, will always be #1 which will never change. Ever.

Having a nude and enthusiastic body in bed with you does wonders for self-esteem, which had probably taken a hit throughout your ordeal. It's fun to actually feel DESIRED, but honest communication with new partners is very important. That's the first step to being respectful to both her and yourself. Don't skip it.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-09-26T13:40:49+00:00

Been there done that.

It will distract you from what happened so it will make you feel better for a short time. It will most definitely slow down the healing process, and may make you miss this important personal gorwth period entirely.

Being alone, grieving, forgiving, reflecting, growing - you don't get many opportunities like that throughout your life. Wasting it on a fuck buddy is a big missed opportunity and a recipe for divorce #2 down the track.

A woman cannot give you confidence, it is grown internally. If all you do is rely on external validation for confidence you will return to ground zero everytime a woman takes her attention away from you (and no healthy woman is going to put up with a man beyond the honeymoon period who does not have true confidence).

This season of singleness will go very quickly. You will always look back at it fondly and wish it lasted longer. Invest it in yourself.

IvoShandor · 2025-09-26T10:11:20+00:00

100%. It’ll get your spirits back up and remind you of what may have been missing. I had a full year of that. My FWB situation came to an end, amicably, but we had lots of fun. Not sure if it sped up the process, but it was a welcomed moment and filled a need.

Anyosnyelv · 2025-09-26T07:45:10+00:00

Ofc it helps. I had huge pain as well but it helped. When I fucked a very similar ass as my ex had it helped a lot. I realized not only she can have that kind of ass. When I fucked a similarly attractive woman as my ex who was much more kind that helped as well. When someone did something to me what my ex would never ever do (never asked but I am sure), that helped as well.

When every single women were more kind than my ex, that helped tremendously as well.

As other commenter mentioned you need to hit the gym for this. I got from slightly obese to muscular. When my ex left I lost of lot of weight luckily because of depression, then I started to build the muscle.

SirLawnsALot · 2025-09-26T03:22:27+00:00

Currently smashing a single mom situation ship

We see each other often. Always intimate. Sometimes nights she sleeps over, sometimes not. Nooners. Blow jobs in the truck on work breaks. I sense she wants more but there's more red flags than a commie parade.

Wild great sex, insane compatibility in the bedroom. That's all I need or want right now. Catching feels isn't an option.

A woman controls access to sex. A man controls access to a relationship.

iqeq_noqueue · 2025-09-26T02:56:58+00:00

Keep it transactional and short term. I got way too attached way too early and it only made shit worse.

Fluffy_Afternoon652 · 2025-09-26T02:43:34+00:00

I did for 5 months. I ended up having feelings for here and when it ended it hurt more than the divorce from my wife after 20 years.

Title	Managing intimacy without commitment ?
Author	brainlesschaos
Upvotes	6
Comments	39
Date	September 26, 2025 2:38 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1nqpy1n/managing_intimacy_without_commitment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/managing-intimacy-without-commitment.1562825 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562825

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