Miss her

iqeq_noqueue · 2025-11-18T03:27:55+00:00

She made it up to convince herself that it was ok she cheated on you brother… sorry.

Sammi-416 · 2025-11-18T01:46:27+00:00

Lol..🤦🏾‍♂️

Immediate-Story2562 · 2025-11-18T00:11:35+00:00

Unfortunately you can't force someone to love you. I am sorry but the hardest part is letting go.

The_Answer1313 · 2025-11-17T20:30:57+00:00

As someone that is going through a divorce that my wife initiated as well and something I defintely do not want, I totally understand what you mean.

Even now, as I am writing up an agreement on what I am looking for moving forward, I am STILL presenting options that do not involve divorce.

So the below comments while I think are just being honest and up front, I say if you want to reconcile, keep on trying to do so. That's what I am doing. The vows meant something to me. People get divorced way too much these days. So yeah.......follow your heart and good luck

Upstairs-Pizza-1843 · 2025-11-17T19:57:20+00:00

There is no such thing as unconditional love so don't over romanticize that but breaking up is hard to do when one decides it's over. Men have no power in a marriage.

Jwoot1111 · 2025-11-17T19:32:56+00:00

Don’t do it. It’s not going to work.

Wonderful_System5658 · 2025-11-17T19:12:25+00:00

You're allowed to feel the way you do. In my personal experience, I miss who I was before the marriage than I actually miss her. It took awhile to figure that out.

RedRibbon3KS · 2025-11-17T18:15:31+00:00

From my experience and from others I personally know, I could understand feeling like you miss her and want to reconcile. However, from what you wrote, I do not think it will happen. Could it? Maybe. But the chances are similar that you could win the $1 billion lottery. Pretty slim odds of her coming back simply because she was throwing a party for the divorce.

This is where I am similar to you. I missed her. Her asking for space and leading to divorce blindsided me. One day we were going to the movies, doing family stuff, hosting get togethers, and literally a couple days later she wants space. What I realized through therapy was that I missed the past wife I had. I missed the life we had. I missed the person I thought I was with. Her actions and words as we went through (and after) the divorce is the real person that is being revealed.

Mourn the loss and the past. It is a real grief that needs to be acknowledged. It will be a step towards healing.

LifeBeatsHard · 2025-11-17T17:30:24+00:00

Mate, I don't want to disencourage you, but what I learned in my 3-month journey after a cold "I am not going anywhere with you. I am not going back to you!" was that once women make their mind, that's it. You can give her the moon, that's not going to change anything. That's the moment I think men are more emotional than women, because women can be very cold and rational at these times.

As folks are suggesting, focus on yourself, detach from the old days (they don't and will not exist anymore). All the role-play of being a husband and care/protect/think about her is gone. She left and you need to work on what stayed (you)! Use this Reddit's sub and go through other stories and threads, you will find many similarities of your case and in all of them, you will find men who survived this saying the same!

You may think you have unconditional love for her now, work on yourself, build your confidence, take small challenges every day to show you can do and survive every battle. You will understand that the real unconditional love you need is for yourself (even though, I am still working on that and be happy lonely).

It freaking hurts (worst pain I ever felt)!! Take one day at a time and you will make it.

KingJon85 · 2025-11-17T15:09:40+00:00

I know it hurts but give her what she wants and walk away. Perhaps you convince her to stay and it will happen again next year. Walk away, block her in every way from contact. Let your lawyer do the contact.

Women become monsters once the feelings stop. They get pleasure watching us suffer and beg. It changes nothing. Be strong, stoic and emotionless and it will surprise the shit out of her.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2025-11-17T12:23:04+00:00

If you're telling the truth, it's probably projection. Only a crazy person would serve her husband divorce papers on her birthday, have a party then throw your stuff out.

Perhaps you should not miss her.

aquatone61 · 2025-11-17T12:09:33+00:00

No you don’t. You may think you do but she tossed your love out the window.

FirelineJake · 2025-11-17T11:58:21+00:00

I still miss her every day. She pushed me away and claimed I was cheating, but really she was dying and hid it to spare me. It hurts like hell knowing the divorce wasn’t rejection, just her way of trying to protect me when all I wanted was to love her through it.

Ok-Republic2530 · 2025-11-17T11:36:30+00:00

hard pill to swallow bro she doesn’t love you.. move on

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-11-17T11:27:47+00:00

Sorry man. She threw a party? Crazy

Title	Miss her
Author	Alert-Bus-4054
Upvotes	4
Comments	17
Date	November 17, 2025 10:02 AM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ozcfhs/miss_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/miss-her.1566696 https://theredarchive.com/post/1566696

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