Narcissism

Canadian_builder1081 · 2024-02-19T23:57:26+00:00

The fact that you’re self reflecting and looking deeper at you own actions to see if you were at fault tells me you aren’t a narcissist. Ex wives tend to gravitate to this assessment as it relinquishes them of any wrong doing in the relationship (something a narcissist might do).

SmugFrog69 · 2024-02-06T01:19:36+00:00

Narcissism is a disorder that is diagnosed by a professional. Like OCD and ADHD, it is so overused in describing someone that those that actually have it suffer. These disorders aren’t fun nor quirky. Your feelings are natural and valid and even your therapist can’t diagnose you with ND but they can help you understand what your feelings and thoughts are. Those with ND don’t question if they have ND.

chickenofalltrades · 2024-02-04T03:29:57+00:00

We all have varying narcissistic traits - but MOST of us do not have narcissistic personality disorder.

My stbxw had me believing I was a narcissist too. She had told me I was. I’m not; I am self-aware, humble, and I consider my humility as one of my strengths. I don’t view people as pawns; I don’t want anything from anybody. Etc.

Turns out she believed I lack empathy. Which; I may, to a degree; but I think the real sticking point for her was; she wanted me to feel her feelings. Which I could not do. lol 😆

I’m a logical thinker (like many other men) and I experience empathy via imagining myself in the others’ shoes. I cannot feel others’ feelings (more like women can)

Don’t listen to her completely ; but still go to therapy. Therapy has helped me tremendously in subtle understandings.

She’s probably bringing up you going to family seeking validation as an attempt at “triangulation” which is an abuse tactic narcissists sometimes employ.

Remember; we all have our flaws and we can all grow and learn. But in today’s world? We (men) are all abusive narcissists when the lady wants out. Just look at Facebook, instagram, and TikTok… narcissist shit is all over the place.

Don’t lose yourself bro. Hold yourself accountable. But don’t lose yourself.

SkeptiCynical · 2024-02-04T02:12:17+00:00

The self-awareness is your first indicator that you aren't being a very good narcissist. Talking about it with a therapist is the nail in the coffin, though.

Most of us like to be right. Admitting when you don't know something or when you are wrong is something narcissists will very rarely do.

Crafty-Way-6860 · 2024-02-03T18:00:54+00:00

I'm so sick of the "N" word. If you're questioning if you're a narcissist, I can almost guarantee you you're not.

roman_erudite · 2024-02-03T12:37:24+00:00

I can take that one having learned what narcissism is after my ex wife's betrayal and educating myself ok the subject to understand her behavior. There are 3 hallmarks for narcissism: 1. Self importance (feeling better, superior, more important, victimhood- the world isn't treating me the way it should) 2. Lack of empathy: narcissists are incapable of, not just unwilling to, feel other people's pain. Not genuinely. They may learn how to emulate it for social benefits but they do not have this human capacity of genuinely feeling other peoples pain. 3. Extreme resistance or sensisitivity to any sort of criticism. Darren Magee is the best channel I've seen on the subject. It does feel you have some level of narcissistics traits, like it's very important for you to have a good image. But remember only a specialist can truly diagnose.

lostpassword100000 · 2024-02-03T05:18:17+00:00

I don’t think narcissists stick with therapy very long. You discussing this with your therapist is way more self aware than any narcissist I’ve known.

Lumptbuttcat · 2024-02-03T04:09:52+00:00

Here’s the thing. If you think you are better (at something) because you have reason, that’s not narcissism. Not necessarily a good thing if it comes across as egotistical or condescending. I mean we are all advantaged and disadvantaged at certain things.

True narcissism is genuinely thinking you are superior without any basis- ie you are better because of your mere existence. It’s not based on relationships or interactions with certain people or situations.

Reality is narcissism is rare. Everyone is self interested. Many are selfish. Few are really narcissists. It’s an overused term very similar to “abuse”. Raise your voice, disagree or point out an obvious wrong, and you my friend, are abusive.

Wise_Serve_3140 · 2024-02-03T03:22:16+00:00

Do you constantly try and impress strangers? My stbx and I went to swim lessons for my daughter my stbx wouldn't hold her daughter would just stand there but volunteered to carry someone else's kids into the pool

Comfortable-Long-419 · 2024-02-03T03:22:15+00:00

I know this because I have the same fears and I just read a bunch of shit about.

yknotalpha · 2024-02-03T03:22:04+00:00

if you were Narcissitic you wouldn't have asked this question because Narc don't even think they have problem. but you can always talk to Therapist

Comfortable-Long-419 · 2024-02-03T03:21:04+00:00

EVERYONE has some levels of narcissism. I do. My tends to the low self esteem side if the range. What I am saying is just be aware, and make sure you aren't doing things to hurt people with it. People over use the phrase now.

Title	Narcissism
Author	Cheb44
Upvotes	4
Comments	19
Date	February 3, 2024 3:12 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ahm6gs/narcissism/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/narcissism.1244469 https://theredarchive.com/post/1244469

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