I’m about 6 weeks out from finding out my wife had another affair. We’re separated. She moved out.

Since then, I’ve been left to handle everything. Which, honestly, is fitting....because that’s always been my role. Deal with everything.

After the separation agreement, I was the one:

- Selling off the vehicles

- Selling household items so we can split the money

- Getting the house ready to sell

- Taking care of our 18-year-old son

- Taking care of our elderly deaf dog

She moved out and left the house a disaster.

Now zoom out and look at my life right now:

- Divorce

- Raising my son

- Moving 900 miles in 3 weeks

- Moving in with my parents temporarily

- Then finding my own place

- Starting a new job mid-May

- Getting my son settled into college in August

That’s a lot. Even one of those would be enough for most people.

So here’s what’s getting to me…

Everyone knows what happened. Friends. Family. They all know everything I’m juggling.

But nobody asks how I’m doing.

I get asked about my son constantly:

“How’s he doing?”

“Is he talking to his mom yet?”

(No, he’s not.)

Then I get lectured about how I should stay neutral or encourage him to talk to her.

Here’s the part people don’t seem to understand:

He’s 18. He lived through all of it.

He knows she cheated.

He knows she lied straight to his face and swore on his life that she wasn’t cheating again.

And this isn’t new.

Years ago, she was having affairs while he was in the house. Even when he was little. Bringing that into the same home he was growing up in.

As a parent, that alone says everything.

And it didn’t stop there.

She was a stay-at-home mom who:

- Didn’t clean

- Couldn’t handle basic responsibilities

- Wouldn’t make doctor’s appointments

- Would sleep while I stayed up with him when he was sick

- Rarely showed up for him the way a parent should

I handled everything. Work, house, parenting, all of it.

So when people tell me “he needs his mom,” I just sit there thinking…

What exactly is he missing?

Because from where I’m standing, he already learned who she is.

He’s not confused. He’s not being influenced. He made his own decision based on what he lived.

It’s like saying every kid needs a dog—but what if the dog bites him?

You don’t force the kid to keep going back.

I’m not telling him what to do. I’m not blocking anything. I’m just not going to push him toward someone who hurt him.

I’m just tired.

Tired of carrying everything.

Tired of cleaning up the mess. Literally and figuratively.

Tired of people giving advice who never lived this.

Tired of nobody asking how I’m actually doing.

Because the truth is… with everything on my plate right now, I’m lucky I’m still standing.

And yeah, it really does feel like at the end of the day, you’re just left holding yourself.

Its like I'm drowning and people are critiquing my swimming.