Recovery Time

Exact_Public_2958 · 2024-11-29T01:51:45+00:00

I'm 5 months separated and I think I'm getting worse not better. I'm still in the family home with my son who I see 5-10 min a day. I am still broken hearted even tho she cheated on me. I'm very despondent about my future, will have to stay in family home until my son graduates but house will be for sale. Have no family close by and work remotely so have no natural place to call home. feel like I need to move away to heal but don't know where I will go. I invested everything in her and her family. I was a fool I trusted her completely. 25 years married 30 years together. She cheated on me for the last 2-4.

LoveCrispApples · 2024-11-28T01:34:40+00:00

Huh. I'll have to let you know once I do.

Divorced a month ago, a little over 5 months since we separated. I still think about her every day of my life, though it's definitely been easier to handle now than it was during the summer. I think I'm in the acceptance process now that I realize I don't want the woman she has become back into my life any more than necessary (kids). Not close to dating.

I'll always look back at the memories we shared and miss that person. My best friend for many years. She made me angry a couple of weeks ago, I had a brief bout with sadness last night, but for the most part, I'm doing OK just maintaining my home, being available to the children, staying fit and trying to look forward to what my future may look like.

THX1138-22 · 2024-11-27T14:23:15+00:00

We will never fully get over a divorce especially if there are kids involved. So perhaps better question is how long did it take to recover to the place where you started being happy again? It took me about a year of self work, and then I met my current partner, and that helped tremendously as well because it brought happiness and connection back into my life. Humans are social beings, except for the small percentage of us that are introverts. Our biology drives us to seek deep and intimate connections, especially with a female, because without that evolutionary drive, the human species would’ve become extinct. It’s hardwired into our DNA and no amount of pop psychology can remove it.

To deny that is to fight against our nature on a cellular level. Good luck with that.

By the way, I know that relationships often don’t last. The reality, of course is that nothing really lasts. Our smart phones don’t last, our cars don’t last, and neither do our bodies. So, just because something is temporary doesn’t mean that we should discard it as a potential source of happiness as long as we are careful about the compromises we make to find that happiness

JustSomeDude7287 · 2024-11-27T05:09:47+00:00

Together 12. Going through divorce 11 months now, living together. I’m over it after 6 months discovering her affair and tried to work through it but I saw the lack of accountability so I filed for divorce. Everything that happened after was only icing on the cake. Proved to me the horribly lying manipulative person she is. Glad I saw through her fake begging and crying for “one last chance” “sorry for everything” “last talk and I’ll leave you alone” all BS.

UnadoptedSimo · 2024-11-27T03:53:54+00:00

I was with my Ex for 13 years and we have children. The first 3 months was hell, disbelief and coming to terms with everything. Wondering if you can recover. The following 9 months was processing all the emotions, ups and downs. So about 18 months total, it took me to start feeling normal again and returning to my former self. Like everyone says, life does get better. Stay strong and stoic. I am still going through family court.

Borntadoodishes · 2024-11-27T02:01:10+00:00

The healing comes in waves. For me it’s been over a year. I feel leaps and bounds better but still have my down days. It took me nearly a year of heavy grief. Some stuff I may never recover from completely but I learn to live with like other bad or tragic things that happened to me in life. Just part of being a man, move on or be mowed down. Not trying to sound too negative, overall I feel good. However The divorce opened up a lot of stuff I learned about myself that I need to face and work on. So my recovery feels complicated.

Hog-Switchkey · 2024-11-27T01:24:50+00:00

Together 42 years. It's been 8 months since divorce. It's getting better but it's still tough!

crager34 · 2024-11-27T00:07:27+00:00

I had the easiest divorce, and I won just about everything (kids not included). It's been 9 months and my heart still aches.

You'll know when you know and it's different for everyone.

Farmearth · 2024-11-27T00:05:20+00:00

I was with my ex for almost 30 years, been separated 1.5 yrs, legal divorce can't happen until next year. It took me the first year to get to a better place. "Recovery" will be a lifetime but I have moved on. For me places like this a talking to other divorced people was the best thing for me. It took me the first year to realize I'm not alone and these feelings are common. That realization changed everything for me.

Independent_Owlz · 2024-11-27T04:30:32+00:00

Together 20. Married ~17. I’m still recovering ~3 years later.

Slowloris81 · 2024-11-26T23:17:43+00:00

Does separation count? It’s been 2 1/2 years and the divorce has been dragging on and has not been finalized yet. Curious from others if the healing only really begins after the divorce is finalized?

masterof-xe · 2024-11-26T23:08:56+00:00

A year and a half to start seeing the effects of healing. I'm glad that I had the support I needed.

Equal-Morning9480 · 2024-11-26T22:48:12+00:00

I was with my ex for 24 years, exactly half my life. It has been eight months and I’m still having a hard time. Definitely better than I was though. In someways I don’t know if I’ll ever be OK again. I miss my family so much and I have so much regret

Title	Recovery Time
Author	JJJ0131
Upvotes	3
Comments	26
Date	November 26, 2024 10:41 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1h0p2y0/recovery_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/recovery-time.1536983 https://theredarchive.com/post/1536983

Comments