Should I move out immediately after dropping the divorce bomb?

Ridethelightning1987 · 2022-03-13T09:14:04+00:00

Do not ever. And I mean ever move out of your own house. No matter how hard. That’s seen as abandonment if you have kids. Sleep on the couch, on the floor, or anything else but do not leave your residence

13owner · 2022-03-13T09:36:29+00:00

Generally speaking you should not move out. It puts you in a bad legal position. However, you need to protect yourself. Put up cameras and record your conversations with the stbex. This will mitigate the risk of her make false abuse claims.

chicken_po_boy · 2022-03-13T15:28:19+00:00

Do not move out if at all possible. I stayed living in the home after I told my ex I wanted a divorce. We have two children.

Staying in the home was the single most important thing I did during the divorce. I was able to set a cooperative tone for the process, and diffuse moments of potential escalation. It also meant that I didn’t have to worry what she might be saying to the kids.

Every time her friends would try to whip her into a frenzy, I was there to respond with calmness and empathy. I would just say that divorce is going to be hard on both of us, but if we treat each other fairly then there won’t be hard feelings when it’s over. And it’s important we remain amicable for the sake of the kids. Throughout the entire divorce I remained calm and rational and I would not engage when she wanted to argue or assign blame. I remained forward-looking and resisted her attempts to look backwards to discuss where things went wrong.

I pushed for a quick divorce and never waivered. Her friends kept telling her to get a lawyer and take me to the cleaners. Thankfully in the end she saw that I was being open and honest, and we didn’t need lawyers to arrive at an agreement which was fair to both of us.

We are on good terms today 2 years after our divorce was final. Lol we get along better than when we were married, and our kids are doing well.

yeldellmedia · 2022-03-13T10:34:30+00:00

Never move out!!!!!!

TonLoc1281 · 2022-03-13T11:42:09+00:00

Why would you give up your house and put yourself and such a huge disadvantage when it comes to custody? If you do that, say good bye to your kids and hello to every other weekend dad.

sgtrobertreed · 2022-03-13T15:43:14+00:00

I was lucky in my divorce. When I announced it, we found a way to live in separate rooms. We were renting so we ran the rent out. I helped her find a place and I found one. I helped her move and moved myself alone. I didn’t have to record conversations and it kills me there’s folks out there that have to. The kids weren’t weaponized in my situation and we didn’t even get lawyers. Is it perfect? Nah, we bicker, but overall it’s about the kids. I hope your divorce isn’t nasty. I hope there is no vindication. I hope the kids are able to find they have two home with one love. To those who’ve never had this, my heart hurts for you and I hope your ex wakes up one day before they hurt the kids too deep. There’s enough hate in the world, our babies and kids don’t need to see it at home.

CaliDude75 · 2022-03-13T12:49:05+00:00

LOL. Thankfully, this was decided for me. She packed up her stuff and was out the door in about 30 minutes after me dropping the D-bomb, even after me offering to stay in another bedroom.

Classic_Dill · 2022-03-13T15:11:31+00:00

I’m not sure what country you live in? But generally the spouse who moves out first can have abandonment added to the divorce proceedings as well, do not move out first!

medicseb · 2022-03-13T15:14:37+00:00

What everyone else said. Don’t move out it, it’s abandonment. Sleep in the garage if you have to. Stay for the kids and try to be civil. Currently still living in the same house as we go through the process and we have been very civil with each other. Makes me hope the process goes smoothly.

Gattsama · 2022-03-13T09:52:50+00:00

As mentioned talk to lawyer first. Make plan for where to stay in home. Do not leave home until a court approved visitation plan is in place and your lawyer says it's OK. Otherwise, as you yourself pointed out z the courts can see this as abandoned. You want 50/50 custody at a minimum.

Stay safe

bacon-wrapped-steak · 2022-03-13T19:58:35+00:00

Don't move out.

syro23 · 2022-03-13T23:06:39+00:00

You need to talk to a lawyer

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2022-03-13T23:01:49+00:00

If you don't move out you need to be recording 24/7. I got falsely accused of rape by my ex-wife just so she can kick me out of the house. Spent 3 years defending myself.

lostcanuck007 · 2022-03-15T09:24:50+00:00

dont move out, get hidden cameras, record everything. always cover your ass, speak to a lawyer, dont let her "leave" with the children. talk about custody and get it on recording. you can use it later. DO NOT allow her to have sex with you. and have house rules, meaning neither of you can bring other people,who has what responsibility, who owns what get this in writing. get a lawyer asap if she refuses to engage or suddenly get "formal" or changes her demenour, watch out for honeyed words. Put condoms in a location that you know about. always make your own food and keep your own alcohol in your own place.

Title	Should I move out immediately after dropping the divorce bomb?
Author	OldfashionedLatte
Upvotes	5
Comments	29
Date	March 13, 2022 8:50 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/td2s4k/should_i_move_out_immediately_after_dropping_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/should-i-move-out-immediately-after-dropping-the.1106505 https://theredarchive.com/post/1106505

Comments