Spending during divorce

LoveCrispApples · 2024-11-21T18:40:49+00:00

My ex dropped $25k, furnishing her new apartment even after the $10k I gave her for 6 months of start-up rent to get her out of the house.

I told her she would absorb ALL the credit debt ($58k) in exchange for my foregoing $300/mos ×7 yrs in child support that the court said I was due.

regertsrus · 2024-11-21T04:18:35+00:00

Nobody cares if you bought a laptop a phone and a treadmill and started going to the most expensive gym. Just like nobody cares if your ex drops 400 on hair and nails a month while claiming to have invested your child support on the kids future. It's a moot point to a degree. Forget it.

jalapeno-grill · 2024-11-21T03:22:37+00:00

Yeah I would spend how you normally do. You can’t take cash out of a machine a whole lot, don’t buy crypto or other heavy investments which you haven’t done in the last, don’t “hide” money. Spend money on your credit card as you have, pay it off as you normally do.

Don’t overthink it unless you are looking to do something “bad”. And if you are, don’t do it my friend this is not the time. You will have all sorts of people and their arms so far in your ass you won’t know which one is tickling you.

Moms_Sketti88 · 2024-11-20T19:50:35+00:00

If you’re going no contest the divorce will be cheaper and you go back and forth between each other’s attorneys. It took alot of negotiation, but my wife finally agreed we would do it this way. We don’t want a judge deciding and looking over our lives.

EconomistVisible2767 · 2024-11-20T15:26:29+00:00

No two divorces are alike.

I'm a motorcycle commuter (vroom vroom) with a family car for groceries and rainy days. She kept the family car. I bought a new car with a $700 note. I purposefully aimed for $40k and financing so I'd have a monthly payment I could call an expense. Since I didn't have a car, needed one, a car was a justified purchase according to my lawyer. And it made me a bit poorer which was also a goal.

I did three or four weekend trips during my two year separation. Most had airfare. They cost between $500 and $2000 each maybe. My lawyer said "you have to live." One was to visit family. My mom is sick. Others were lakes, wineries, that kind of thing. Definitely frivolous but acceptable according to my lawyer.

And I was paranoid enough to build cash savings but not huge amounts. I didn't want to be called out on every restaurant meal.

Thing is, it never came up. In my state, the judge sets initial alimony and child support early. It only gets revisited if you have a wild child stbx who will actually burn it all to the ground. And the settlement (90% of all divorces in my state) isn't a forensic investigation, it's an agreement between two parties. It's such a rough-cut basket case of a process that road trips don't come up.

But again, no two divorces are alike. If your ex screams at the top of her lungs about your new phone, well, new lawyer fees to litigate that will probably drown out the phone price tag. So she can make your life hell. But she can do that in so many other ways too.

So, I mean, contention is really what doubles or triples (quadruples?) fees. I agree with your lawyer. Keep it discrete enough so that she doesn't get angry.

Slowloris81 · 2024-11-20T15:10:07+00:00

Spend what’s reasonable and defensible for basic needs. Just don’t do anything extravagant or out of the ordinary, as that could lead to a claim that you have the ability to pay more if financial support were an issue.

Cheap_House8696 · 2024-11-20T14:13:19+00:00

It depends on the state, in my state everything is up for negotiation until the day the decree is signed, the judge has a lot of leeway on that stuff so far he's very fair tho

Gattsama · 2024-11-20T12:23:40+00:00

Confirm with your attorney, but in most states, once you file, that ends the creation of new communal assets or debts. You can do anything you want as long as you do not use communal assets or debt to do it.

For example. AFTER I filed the then STBX joined the most expensive club in the state, tool out $20k from our personal lone of credit, maxed out the joint VISA, etc.

All of that was new debt on her! She had to pay all that back, and work out paying for her new expenses on her own. But I had to float that until the final settlement.

You want a new laptop, just buy it. Making sure NOT to use any communal assets or adding to communal debt.

Content-Class1259 · 2024-11-20T08:00:38+00:00

Might be different in Australia, but unless you are blowing money on drugs/hookers/gambling, it’s generally nothing to do with the other party.

Title	Spending during divorce
Author	No-Young1428
Upvotes	4
Comments	11
Date	November 20, 2024 6:12 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1gvj3d2/spending_during_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/spending-during-divorce.1536330 https://theredarchive.com/post/1536330

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