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The invoice is right here

anxious_throw_away33 · 2022-04-20T18:02:25+00:00

I'm sitting here on my bed looking at the invoice for the retainer. I'm trying my hardest to fill it out. I can't even begin. Why?!?...

anxious_throw_away33

April 20, 2022

7 upvotes

/r/Divorce_Men

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Post Information

Title	The invoice is right here
Author	anxious_throw_away33
Upvotes	7
Comments	29
Date	April 20, 2022 6:02 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/u82i9b/the_invoice_is_right_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/the-invoice-is-right-here.1111863 https://theredarchive.com/post/1111863

Comments

[–]azwildcat74 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Gattsama 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]anxious_throw_away33 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Gattsama 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah man, right there with you. For me it was mostly obligation. I try to be and consider myself to be a very honorable man. So even though things sucked, my needs were not meant or discussed (she literally told me she does NOT want to her my problems / issues with the relationship), etc. I thought, I made a vow: better or worst, sickness or health, deal death do us part. I felt this huge obligation to honor that, and to take care of her, because no one else is going to step up and do it.

I made great money, but worked a ton extra shifts to avoid a life style well above anything we should have been spending. She has fibromyalgia so I would give her 45min whole body massages every night I wasn't working. I did a ton of house chores, let her brother move in rent free for 2yrs+, etc. etc.

But she was NEVER happy or satisfied. EVERY problem is the relationship was my fault. When pressed the only thing she would say was her fault was 'that I choose to stay in this toxic relationship with you.' And still I stayed. I pulled away, withdrew, thought about taking separate vacations, etc. But never cheated and never discussed ending it (but thought about it alot).

Then one day, we had another BS argument over nothing. And she tells me I need to move out / leave. Takes off her ring and says she won't put it back on until 'my vows mean something to me.' So I please a bit to stay, she says no, and I move out. And once out, I had never felt more peaceful and stress free :)

Society has been working to program men to be this sacrificial worker. Men don't complain, men take care of the family, men die first, she's the prize, we have to work to earn the women, etc. It's all BS!! Life is short, we need to take care of ourselves, first and foremost. Once you are good you can then choose (or not) to extend your life force and resources to others. BUT we have that backwards. We give first, then hope / ask for ourselves second. I don't know your situation, but whatever it is, if you are hurting you need to take care of you. IF your wife can / will assist with that great. If she won't or can't (which is sounds like) then cut her.

It's harsh, you will feel bad. But you ultimately will be better. Be safe out there...

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