Will I get over this ? …

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-04-13T06:30:02+00:00

The future is in your hands and is what you make of it. Rumination and grief is normal to process loss.
I know its corny but time does heal.

KingJon85 · 2026-04-13T03:01:26+00:00

You will get over it. Im about 6.5 months in and I still have my moments but life it gradually getting much better. I am done putting her on a pedestal. She was a terrible wife and is a terrible person.

Hopefully she learned her lesson or her new boyfriend is in for a bumpy ride.

Boomhower113 · 2026-04-13T01:38:32+00:00

Lose the hope. Stay strong and assume she’s trying to take you for everything at every possible turn.

Don’t be nice. Give on things she cares about and you don’t, but dig the fuck in once you care a little bit about it.

Good luck, brother.

The_Restructured_Man · 2026-04-13T01:37:40+00:00

46 when mine hit. The pain you're describing is real but it's not permanent. It lifts when you stop trying to feel your way out and start building your way out.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-04-12T20:13:38+00:00

No you will not work it out. Yes you will get over it. Every man who has been divorced was in your exact situation. After 5 years not a single man would take his ex back.

Tall_weirdo444 · 2026-04-12T13:49:00+00:00

The hope is what hurts most. Not the ending — that small voice still saying maybe isn't it?

And the overthinking? That's your mind refusing to accept pain it hasn't processed yet.

You're not going to get over this. You're going to go through it. The man on the other side won't look like who you are right now. That's the whole point.

This Most guys let it turn into bitterness or wasted years. The ones who don't come out the other side completely different.

DM me if you want to talk about where to actually start.

LaCathedrale · 2026-04-12T05:46:25+00:00

(the following was a reply to u/whoopyboy69 but I wanted to make sure OP sees it:

I don't agree that this kind of language is correct, but the sentiment "she has moved on already, and she doesn't care if she hurts you" is unfortunately almost universally true.

Counselling never works, it's just a way for people to express how they already feel. I tried this in both my marriages and in the end it was just a lot of money thrown down the toilet because both ex wives had already decided months prior they were done. You can't negotiate love.

Staying friends with her (because obviously, you love her) is only keeping the door open for her to hurt you. I did the same - trying to hold her as a person I respected and cared for in this new paradigm - and it meant when she moved on (VERY QUICKLY) or that her lies came to the surface it hurt all the more. You might be amicable or even friendly in future, but now you have to cut all ties.

You WILL be OK. You are going through shock and then grief and it feels never ending, but very slowly it will get easier. You will not be able to stop yourself thinking of her, of the betrayal and the hurt - it will stop by itself. Do whatever you can to keep your head above water: gym, walking, reaching out to other social groups and AVOID SOLO DRINKING.

VanSchnitz · 2026-04-12T01:31:15+00:00

I’m the one to blame and yes it’s still cry face randomly… but remember,

… no one cries forever …

whoopyboy69 · 2026-04-12T00:25:24+00:00

Just picture her getting fucked from behind by the next guy. It’ll help

Il_Valentino · 2026-04-12T00:06:04+00:00

Your pain is a natural step towards healing. She has moved on, so should you.

edu_sysadmin · 2026-04-11T23:30:06+00:00

I'm 18 days into it. It is getting easier but I still love her so much. Currently still living together - don't feel like I can really process and heal until she moves out

HoldtheLineDad · 2026-04-11T23:22:44+00:00

In the same boat. She filed early last month. We were living in separation on and off for a couple months prior. I thought it was helping but she did not. I still feel like restoration was dismissed before giving it a true attempt. I begged and begged for her to come back before I found out the true meaning why she wanted out. An emotional affair. We have two little girls. I feel totally rejected. But each day gets a little better. Hang in there. For me, my motivation is my kids and kids only. That’s what keeps me going. Now the fun part begins with mediation next week.

rowman_nahledge · 2026-04-11T23:11:45+00:00

Im in the middle of mines. 4months in found out she was having an emotional affair. But as life is i was planning to leave the state to start a new career out of sheer anger but i suffered a severe knee injury and had to pause my plans. Im still here fckn in perpetual hell. Theres days i fckn miss her man and theres days i wanna spit in her fckn face for destroying my life and our kids. But it gets better brother, everyday i feel less and realize this was a long time coming. I hope nothing but the best for you and all of us going thru this.

krazykanuck · 2026-04-11T22:55:32+00:00

about a month in I had myself a real REAL good fucking cry. I was alone (with my dog), I just let it all fucking go. I even put on some music that fucking gets me just to lean into it. It was cathartic. You feel like yelling? Yell into the void somewhere (where you won't have the cops called on you lol). Just fucking do something for the release. If you gotta do it more than once, do it.

It will get better.

serkovavantgarden · 2026-04-11T22:19:32+00:00

It hurts like fuck at the start mate

That’s the norm

Then the anger kicks in

That’s when shit starts to turn in your favour

Harness that anger and get what’s yours mate.

Competitive_Koala596 · 2026-04-11T22:15:07+00:00

I’m 15 days in after she told me she wants a divorce and no reconciliation. There are good and bad days, however, it does seem to be getting better. Try to get out and go on a walk, anything to change up your routine.

Title	Will I get over this ? …
Author	Ok_Car9946
Upvotes	23
Comments	22
Date	April 11, 2026 9:59 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1siw8qj/will_i_get_over_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/will-i-get-over-this.1577707 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577707

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