Confessions.

2024-09-26T05:46:29+00:00

Men do all of the things you described in your examples as well. That's a simple fact. What now?

One autistic male to another, dead serious: give this shit up. It makes you weak and one dimensional. You develop a victim mindset. That's what all these redpill men are: complainers, whiners, professional victims.

Things are more complex than their asshole perspectives. Women, everyone, people are more complex. Instead of filling your mind with this garbage, learn about something you love and work on making conversation with actual women. You'll find a lot of them are very different and don't fall into these misogynistic categories.

FellasImSorry · 2024-09-26T06:39:31+00:00

How would you know if your ideas about how people socialize are true if you don’t socialize?

It’s the same with red pill: it’s a self-selected group of men who gather together only because they don’t understand women. That’s all they have in common.

They aren’t women. They aren’t in healthy, intimate relationships with women. They don’t listen to women. So how could they possibly know what women think?

They are the group of people who know the very least about how women think or they wouldn’t always be asking “is this what women want?” And “Is this how women react?” Normal dudes with empathy don’t do that because the answer is so obvious: women are people.

But you guys spend all day convincing yourselves that you actually know more about how women think than women themselves, or that women are this impossible puzzle that has to be solved. It’s literally the dumbest shit on earth.

The reason both redpill idiots and you, personally, don’t understand women is because you lack empathy. That’s the whole of it.

You don’t understand why women don’t like you because you can’t imagine how you are seen by other people. You don’t know what are people are thinking when they are interacting with you because you’re not able to put yourself in their place.

Justwannaread3 · 2024-09-26T04:01:54+00:00

I’m a woman, and instead of getting into how all of those examples are inherently demeaning and dehumanizing to women, how they’re damaging to you, and how they’re refutable by just looking around, I’ll just say this: You’re wrong.

I’m a woman. I’m in a relationship. I know other women in relationships. And none of those examples you “could go on and on” with are applicable to me or the women I am close to. It is hurtful to keep seeing men say this shit about half the human race. I’m tired of it.

SweelFor- · 2024-09-26T09:16:23+00:00

You're inventing a reality in your head, and deciding that it is true.

By your own admission, you don't socialise with women at all, so how could you possibly know if this stuff is true or not? You're just deciding that it is. I wonder why that is.

ooa3603 · 2024-09-26T05:00:30+00:00

The redpill takes observations that have a grain of truth in specific circumstances and over extrapolates them to apply to all situations.

Put another way, it is centered on making hypocritical and misogynistic conclusions then working backwards by using incomplete observations about already flawed human interactions to justify their conclusions.

This logic is designed to target men who have difficulties dating because they will be primed to be afraid about the ramifications of poor dating success.

People who are afraid are the easiest to manipulate. When someone is truly afraid, they will be ready to believe in anything and anyone who promises to have a solution. And unfortunately, this patriarchal society tends to be dismissive of men's emotional troubles. Que the redpill with "promises" of solutions and answers to your problem. All you have to do is just blame women and buy their courses and products about becoming an alpha male.

It's all a racket designed to keep you addicted to the redpill ideology so that you keep buying their products and consuming their money making media.

But women aren't the problem. Woman are just human beings. They will say, believe or do stupid things like all human beings tend to do. That humanity is not a license for you judge them as inferior. It's hypocritical.

That being said, your fear and resulting bitterness is not irrational. Being on the spectrum, you were unfortunately fucked by life circumstances beyond your control. You are likely missing a lot of the innate emotional tools required for making friend, let alone dating neurotypical women.

You feel like women are punishing you for your inability to connect with them. But the problem isn't women, the problem is that you were given a shit hand by the metaphorical dealer called life.

You're just going to have to play the hand you were dealt.

The actual solutions will not be easy. You will basically have to manually memorize all of the unwritten rules of social dynamics that normal neurotypical people take for granted.

In your position I wouldn't worry about women just yet. Attractiveness is about having something other people want in their life. And in the context of dating, being attractive is about being able to add happiness to another person's life. Fundamentally, people get into relationships with other people because they think the person they are choosing will add happiness to their life.

The ability to add happiness depends on several things, but among them is developing the traits, values and the resources required to be capable of it.

Right now, you don't have much capacity to add happiness because you aren't really happy with yourself.

I'm not trying to be mean, I'm trying to get you to see that you need to shift your priorities and thought process.

It's likely you're missing a lot of the life skills and resources needed in order to date and have successful relationship.

I think the first thing you should focus on is being on the spectrum. Your autism is not your fault, but you need to find a way to mitigate it's effects on your life. Basically, you need to improve your ability to navigate social interactions despite your autism or at least do so in a way that plays to your strengths. Do you know if your parent health insurance has behavioral/mental counseling so you can get professional help with learning and implementing habits and systems to improve your social/emotional intelligence?

Essentially you need to focus on: developing enough social/emotional intelligence to hold a job long term. Then build more to be able to form and maintain platonic friendships. Once that is achieved, dating is another layer to add on. Being able to hold on to job, having friends and then dating will have progressive higher demands on emotional/social intelligence. Which is why I think you should just focus on the job first. Walk before you run and all that.

mikamimoon · 2024-09-26T13:36:37+00:00

Hi friend. Married, 28 year old autistic woman here. Please consider this from another angle:

The red pill ideology makes sweeping generalizations about all women. How would you feel if you have a daughter? My father (who is divorced from my very toxic mother) has recently adopted the red pill lifestyle. He asked me to listen to podcasts and videos in which men degrade women, told me that I'm close to my "wall age", and that a woman's sexual market value will inevitably drop after 30. Obviously, this doesn't matter to me as a married woman, but I almost died when I was 16 due to an eating disorder that started at 14 after a sexual assault case (that, you guessed it, I was blamed for). It's been an uphill battle for 15 years, and while it's mostly dormant I found it to be incredibly triggering all these years later.

Do red pill men even consider how they're framing their daughters? That their now "impregnated, bloated, useless wives" have given birth to the spawn of Lillith by the way they make it seem? Will they raise their daughters in a world where they're taught to be "useless" as long as they're hot? How creepy would it be if your father never taught you to drive, manage money, apply for jobs, or study in school, but taught you how to wear a push-up bra, how to bow down to men, and how to do your makeup?

Know that the human race exists on many planes outside of the dating world. Sisters, mothers, wives, daughters, the woman who may operate on you and save your life, the young girls like Jon Benet Ramsay who have atrocious things happen to them (at an age where yo obviously cannot claim rape to insidiously ruin a man's life), they all have value. Even if you aren't a Christian (which many of the redpillers claim to be), it's even against the way God sees us as humans. (check out Galatians 3:28).

Please consider all facets of how this over-generalized, degrading, and punitive way of thinking might affect those around you.

SgrVnm · 2024-09-26T09:02:48+00:00

You’re concerned about the parts of red pill that talk about women… but you’re not at all concerned with the parts that talk about how you should be improving yourself? Job, car, home, gym, network etc.???

2024-09-26T11:57:54+00:00

Have you read the pinned post at the top of the subreddit? I'm autistic too (audhd) and find that reading well laid out information can be more persuasive to me than discussions. Here I'll link it for you:

https://www.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/ho4cvx/red_pill_detox_first_aid_kit_start_here/

Lots of things in life seem true but aren't. Look up the Monty Hall problem. It's a simple word problem that has a solution so unintuitive that famous mathematians got it wrong. Yet, there's a proof for its unintuitive answer.

You might "feel" like those red pill ideas are true, but they're not. The evidence against them is overwhelming. So, you need to find a way to get your feelings to match reality. Hopefully pouring over the evidence can help.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2024-09-26T05:02:07+00:00

Women love guys who are rude/unkind.

My Mom is that type of woman. What I noticed is her partners started out as very nice and only become rude after she already become attached to them. If you go up and be rude to a woman she is probably going to be really offended and reject you, not be attracted to you.

What they say about monkey branching.

There are certainly some women who get into a lot of sorter relationships and move on to the next one quickly. But I also see women who have been with their partners for many years or who took years off between relationships. I also see many men who constantly use women for hookups and thats the male version of monkey branching.

Also what they say about girls night out.

Women are far less likely than men to use night life to look for romantic opportunities. Don't believe me go to those places yourself and you will notice women tend to stay in their own groups and aren't very receptive to men hitting on them. Also not all girls nights out are in bars or clubs. Sometimes its in a restaurant.

How they say she’s not yours it’s just your turn.

Many relationships do last a lifetime so you can't assume that its only your turn. Also many relationships end because of stuff the guy did and he is the reason she left.

Im a 27 year old male on the autism spectrum don’t have any women as friends or really talk to women daily.

How women love opportunistically men love idealistically.

If we are being cynical then the claim should be that men love visually. It seems like the girls men fall in love with idealistically are all hot in their eyes. This "idealism" is created by a shallow love of looks. But honestly I've seen both men and women fall deeply in love with their partners, even if they aren't attractive. I've seen women stay with very bad partners who had nothing going for them so I can't believe that women purely love opportunistically.

How women are invisible to men once they hit 30+.

The average age gap is only 2 years and the vast majority of relationships are between people over 30. We also know that is women who see the largest decline in sex drive as the relationship progresses. We also know the vast majority of women over 30 are in relationships. So I don't see how women are invisible to men over 30.

Men tend to date women who are a bit younger than them and about as attractive as them, and if they are older then they can be attracted to older women a bit younger than them. I think the looks a woman was born with and how well she has taken care of herself is more important than if she is in her 30s vs 20s.

Im a 27 year old male on the autism spectrum don’t have any women as friends or really talk to women daily.

The real red pill is because of your autism you may never be able to date. Most men aren't struggling like you are. You have latched on to red pill beliefs because you feel bitter and they match your personal experience.

eurmahm · 2024-09-26T16:20:08+00:00

You just listed a bunch of examples of things red pill content makers say, but you didn't offer any proof of their "truth" in the slightest. Please cite some proof of those "truths". Not "I saw it on the internet", but actual proof that those things are the case out in the offline world.

My husband is on the spectrum, so I definitely empathize with the constant struggle to fit in and understand social norms and behaviors. But he did not decide that women were all at fault for his struggles, he figured that he had some work to do on himself.

MrDamojak · 2024-09-26T17:45:55+00:00

So... how do you know these things are true if you don't even know any women?

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2024-09-26T17:52:47+00:00

You are thinking in black and white "all or zero men do this" and "all or zero women do that mindsets". Of course you can find examples of any negative behavior, but applying this to roughly half the species on a planet of billions of people is nonsense.

If someone made a weird manifesto about how all autistic guys do some bevahior, and we find a few that did, should we assume that 100% of autistic guys do that behavior, including you?

Get out of the black and white thinking.

And here is the thing with any stereotype: You will find members of a demographic that satisfy that stereotype, but you will also find members of completely different demographics that satisfy that stereotype too; because there are enough members of these demographics that you can cherrypick some members and then make any absurd claim.
I guarantee there is at least one scientologist half italian half canadian person that drinks too much, maybe even a few: based on this, is it valid to cherry pick and claim that every scientologist half italian half canadian person drinks too much?

floracalendula · 2024-09-26T13:19:59+00:00

Women love guys who are rude/unkind.

No. I have a thing for people who snark... at other people, not me. Because I snark, too. So I want someone to laugh with, not someone who's going to laugh at me.

What they say about monkey branching.

Once you get out of your teens, this typically stops.

Also what they say about girls night out.

What do they say about girls night out?

How they say she’s not yours it’s just your turn.

No-one ever belongs to someone else. I feel like there's a lot of women-as-property that goes on inside RP heads.

How women love opportunistically men love idealistically.

If that were true, I'd be married.

How women are invisible to men once they hit 30+.

Men can fucking change this one. It's not hard.

an_altar_of_plagues · 2024-09-26T19:26:49+00:00

How women love opportunistically men love idealistically.

As a 32-year old male, my experience is the opposite. Men can be *extreme* opportunists when it comes to women. Look no further than redpill itself, which tells you to sleep around and get it while you can, not holding emotional ties to whom you sleep with. I'm sure you can think of plenty of men you've known who have played women, or how many men on the news buck that idea of men being "idealistic" with tons of high-profile stories of men cheating on their wives.

At the same time, it's also not that reductive. There are certainly women who love "opportunistically", just as much as those who love "idealistically". Same with men. One of the major problems with redpill (and an excellent example of how incredibly stupid it is) is how it boils down the extreme complexity of being a human into these idiotic binaries. Men do this, women do that. Life and personalities are far more complicated, but that's a bitter truth for those who want to "figure out" the opposite sex.

xvszero · 2024-09-26T06:32:43+00:00

You just listed a bunch of nonsense. Why do you think any of it is true?

lilchapo97 · 2024-09-26T19:46:43+00:00

Remember this about red pill podcasters. You admit that you don't have any women friends, redpillers' target audience is guys who don't really socialize a lot and have little to no woman friends. It's a business, they make money off the fact that their audience struggles to socialize with women and are very likely not getting laid often or at all.

Because of social media, a lot of our generation is awkward AF, and it's even tougher for neurodivergents like us who were socially awkward with our without social media. Red pill content creators understand this and are capitalizing on it.

Here's the thing though, notice how almost all of them have "exclusive advice" or "in field sessions" or something like that and charge a premium/fee? I've seen dudes in therapy sessions through channels like @HealthyGamerGG on YouTube that have spent thousands of dollars on that, and were still not getting laid and/or forming relationships. The fact that they all have several videos and several premium videos with "advice" and dudes are still struggling should be the biggest giveaway that it's all one big gimmick.

Also, whoever taught you that men become invisible by 30 is a complete idiot and I guarantee you they're still young AF. Men are the most desirable around their mid 40's - early 50's, I can tell you that based on my anecdotal evidence, but that has also been proven by several research groups.

Having all this in mind, there's no reason at all to believe women want the same thing. I've had autistic friends that I envied because not only were they getting dates more often than me, but the women they would take out were gorgeous. I have some friends that are very overweight, some that are 5'3", some that are balding pretty bad, some with missing teeth. None of them are bathing in cash, all of them date more than I do. You know why? They're much more confident that I am and are secure with their own emotions, because of that they're able to stay present in their interactions and genuinely have fun in the moment with whoever they're around, regardless of what happens after.

Lastly, the best thing to do in your situation, you've provably heard it a million times by now, but it's true. Find something you're passionate about and work on that. Literally ANYTHING. I've met couples that met playing Magic at my local nerd store, playing Dungeons & Dragons, going to Comic Con, rec sports tournaments, frequenting Museums, Art exhibits, volunteering, etc. Find something you're passionate about and focus on that.

I guarantee you, you find and focus on your passion for the next 3 years compared to the next guy whose gonna consume red pill content and try to apply it in that same time frame, you're gonna get a lot further and have more fulfillment in your life than the next guy will. Even if you don't meet anyone like that in that time, I promise, what you learn then will still get you a lot further than the red pill gimmick.

Maximum_Pack_8519 · 2024-09-26T22:57:52+00:00

You admit to not having women as friends or even talking with women often, or having friends period. Yet you find and believe these fucked up caricatures of women that are made up by men who don't view women as wholly human, because what? Because you're socially inept and have a victim complex and can't be bothered to improve yourself?

What the fuck kind of copout is that?

"i DoN't HaVe JoB oR fRiEnD bUt ThE wImMeNz !!! tHEy'Re ThE eViL oNeS.."

It's well past time for you to make a serious effort at bettering yourself.

And stop blaming the Autism !!!!!!!

There are plenty of autistics out there with long term careers, friends, and relationships.

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2024-09-26T23:15:01+00:00

Why not work on fixing your problems instead of blaming a group of people who, by your own admission, you know nothing about?

men love idealistically

As a man, this is the biggest bullshit I have heard in a while and I hear a lot of bullshit.

StayCool-243 · 2024-09-27T16:43:19+00:00

These things may seem true for when someone is not so lucky in love. Especially when we feel down, we're more susceptible to negative ideas. Rather than moving us towards enlightenment, red pill ideology seeks to harden our dissatisfactions by telling us that our bad luck is the result of a system designed to put us in this very position. Worse, it prescribes antisocial, abusive behavior as the cure.

But it's false.

Yes, some women are intrigued by bad guys. Yes, some women are serial daters, and opportunistic.

But no, this is not the world. In real life, the vast majority of people prefer a stable and good natured relationship with one person.

I can't say how to solve your problems. But, I can tell you, without question, that becoming someone you're not, is not the way. With red pill you'll end up even worse off since you may also alienate friends and family.

Exotic_Boot_9219 · 2024-10-03T03:00:57+00:00

I went through all of the things you describe above. Feeling alone, unwanted, jobs not working out, living with my mom until I was 23...I am on the spectrum and was bullied horribly when I was younger. I couldn't date anyone because they all thought they were better than me because I was a loser.

And..I'm a woman, and a conventionally attractive one too. I watched popular, socially skilled women I went to school with have no problem getting men and that pissed me off. They had jobs, took selfies with all of their other girlfriends which I had none of, and men tripped over themselves to be with them (or so I thought). I felt like I was watching humanity from a one way mirror and no matter how many dates I went on, men never wanted a second date because I was too weird for them.

I ultimately realized my life would never change unless I learned to adapt. I got therapy and forced myself to go outside and do things. I enrolled in college and stuck with it and graduated with honors. I now have two bachelors, I am getting my MBA while working and I'm buying my first home right now and have lived away from my mom for 12 years. I met someone who was also a little introverted and we were best friends for 3 years before dating and we ultimately got married and have been married 5 years.

Keep in mind you are making assumptions about people's lives based on what you see online mixed with confirmation bias. I work with wealthy clientele and they aren't with supermodels. This whole idea that one man is sharing 20 women is bullshit and happens so rarely but red-pill makes it seem very commonplace. I also know wealthy men who are unsuccessful with romance and can't find a girlfriend despite owning homes worth over a million dollars. Yes, let's be honest, money helps for both men and women, but it's not a replacement for social skills.

Also, just because society is shallow and sucks sometimes doesn't mean you shouldn't be doing everything you need to in order to adapt. Ask yourself if you are honestly putting in all the effort you can. I had to ask myself that same question and the truth kind of sucked but it got me a much better life.

Girlonlinee · 2024-09-26T13:53:40+00:00

I’ll be your friend if you promise not to be weird. Message me!

Prestigious-Jump6172 · 2024-09-26T17:11:57+00:00

I really don’t want it to be that way but I feel like it’s all true

I've been there. Remember, an optimistic mind has a great power to make what it wants to believe seem true, and a pessimistic mind has a similar power to make what gives it dread seem true as well.

I have no idea why it's like that, I wouldn't think delusion gives somebody an evolutionary advantage. Maybe an anthropologist would know

2024-09-27T01:29:07+00:00

Start by getting a job instead of mooching off of your mom. Women are way too kind and it always ends up with men reversing reality.

beseder11 · 2024-10-17T21:33:57+00:00

Women don't love rude men. There are women with low self esteem that don't really value themselves so they fall for the macho guy but they are not attracted to him in actuality.

Tasty-Knowledge5032 · 2024-09-26T04:32:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Confessions.
Author	Tasty-Knowledge5032
Upvotes	0
Comments	41
Date	September 26, 2024 3:34 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1fpn4bk/confessions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/confessions.1531351 https://theredarchive.com/post/1531351

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