How do you get over the anger from being less than 6 ft? As in, how did you get around the incel-like rhetoric around women and height?

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-09-16T21:21:03+00:00

Realize that only 15% of men are 6 ft or over.

SweelFor- · 2022-09-16T21:23:45+00:00

The easiest way to get around the incel rhetoric is to not expose yourself to it. There won't be anything left to get around of. I am under 6 feet but I never heard this rhetoric (at least not before I had already learned much wiser ideas), so there never was any anger for me to get over.

Whatever you hear this stuff from, unfollow it, unsuscribe from it, delete it, don't watch it, don't read it, don't click on it.

Once you have stopped actively programming yourself into this idea, you can deprogram yourself by listening to good ideas about it instead. I recommend you listen to the Psychology in Seattle podcast. In general, I recommend you listen to psychology, by psychologists.

If someone's authority on the subject is being an "influencer" or a "coach", then I would not pay attention to them.

I would rather listen to relationship therapists, psychologists, sex therapists and so on.

Naus1987 · 2022-09-17T02:39:12+00:00

I’m 5’7” and my height has never been a problem dating.

GameofCheese · 2022-09-17T02:57:01+00:00

Educate yourself about women IRL.

Omg. Women who aren't 100% shallow give no shits if the guy is short if they are attracted to them as a person.

Honestly, dream fantasy guys for me include but are not limited to Tyrion Lannister post injury scar (by Peter Dinklage), Indiana Jones (by Harrison Ford). They are equally sexy, fuckable, and dream wedding husbands to have a billion babies with.

Women don't care about looks as much as personality, but for some reason incels never believe this. Until you do, you won't be the kind of guy that women will want.

You're missing a full understanding of the kind of women that are PEOPLE and not objects, and how to be YOURSELF and not some fake insecure self-hating misogynistic weirdo.

Once you realize this... your made-up height problem will disappear and you'll be happier...

Ok-Blacksmith-9418 · 2022-09-17T01:04:38+00:00

The same way women have had to “get over” the gazillions of superficial beauty standards placed on them from everyone since the beginning of time. You just do.

AdventurousTie8034 · 2022-09-17T12:16:49+00:00

I'm not 6ft and most people are not so tall. In the end is not just about looks. Even if you're very hot, you still have zero chances if you don't get out of your house and if you don't do the first move...

liisathorir · 2022-09-17T02:26:16+00:00

I’m not sure how exactly to give advice about not being angry about it, because anger is an emotion people feel. It usually is a defence mechanism. Sometimes our brain decides it doesn’t like something someone said and then RAGE happens. https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control this site gets into why anger is okay, and how it can be useful and harmful. I think understand your anger may be your first step to help you move past it. It’s hard to treat something you don’t understand and unfortunately it’s not as easy as saying “I’m angry” when you are angry to resolve your feelings.

Some things I would do to help alleviate your anger is stop listening to any content that makes you feel less than. If you are just existing and not hurting anyone and someone is trying to intentionally hurt you (short comments) why stay and listen to it?

A lot of people don’t know what 6 feet is. For a majority of the shorter population we can’t even really “see” what 6’ is. It’s just tall after a certain point and that’s before 6’.

This could be wrong but I feel people do lie or “exaggerate” their height. I have never been on a dating app, but I imagine height has been lied about there.

So this right here leaves us 2 I inconsistencies of how tall people actually are.

If people do say negative things about your height speak up for yourself. This doesn’t mean get angry but point out that it’s a rude thing to say and then don’t talk to them because you deserve better than that. If this is an issue with dating then you are better off without someone so judgemental.

I think something people really get caught up on is height as an identity. It’s just a thing. It’s not who you are, it’s just you are that. You may not be 6 feet but that doesn’t mean you can’t achieve most things you may want to do (sorry to the people who want to be in professions where tall height is the advantage). I see it like my hair is brown. I am short. I have blue eyes. It is just a thing, but my whole personality isn’t “I have blue eyes”. I think trying to shift your perspective about height being such a big deal and a huge part of your identity may be a healthy step.

I do wish you all the best in this, because it is difficult to change our perspective and how we react to things. If you just need support or want to check in feel free to message!

mynameisburner · 2022-09-17T02:50:08+00:00

Not sure if this helps but if you’re in a big city. I would move to a more small town. I’m 5’8” and had always lived in a small town. Most girls don’t really pay attention to my height. My fiancée is also from a small town and she’s 5’9”. She’s always crazy about me everyday.

squirrelscrush · 2022-09-17T09:16:44+00:00

All the girls my best friend has dated were considerably taller than him, and his girlfriends just didn't care that he was short.

And you probably won't like to date girls who care obsessively about your height and reject you just because you're below 6ft; they've self-selected themselves out of your dating pool.

Rather, make some really good female friends and talk with them, you'll be shocked at how greatly their tastes vary. And work on self-presentation and wellness, your social proof, and flirting skills; they'll give a much more impact to your dating success than pure height.

And think about it, how many incels have got girls or changed the minds of those who want 6ft guys by whining and screaming? 0. And how many guys have dated girls after working on themselves? Probably more than 0.

Xx_SwordWords_xX · 2022-09-17T08:28:58+00:00

You listen to women.

I am a woman, and I never once considered height.

friendly_extrovert · 2022-09-17T17:20:02+00:00

Most girls don’t care that much about your height. Factors you can control, like treating her with kindness and respect, being thoughtful of her, and making her laugh, will carry you a lot farther with most women than basic physical traits like height. If you’re 6’2 and have the most boring personality and are just a straight up dick, most women won’t go for you.

Impossible_Ad9586 · 2022-09-17T17:28:40+00:00

I’m 5ft8 and honestly I get loads of women. A lot of guys look for excuses to why they aren’t successful instead of making a change and improving on themselfs. Theirs 6ft4 men who don’t get a look in with women because they are playing video games all day. This still doesn’t stop them from also being incel and blaming women for why they don’t get a look in.

Rook_Cross · 2022-09-17T22:24:55+00:00

Envy is the thief of joy. Stop comparing yourself to others. But if you want proof, want to look at others. Then see all those other dudes under 6 foot, married with kids, dating, hanging out happily with women? Yeah, you don't need to be 6 foot.

JonF1 · 2022-09-18T17:46:55+00:00

Get off tinder is the short answer

HaymakerGirl2025 · 2022-09-18T23:35:37+00:00

This is easy. Go to a boardwalk, mall, or large event. Watch all the couples walking around. Now check how many men are not 6 ft and are coupled up.

2022-09-19T00:19:14+00:00

The the human brain works is that it can find proof for any belief out there. Don't believe me? There are guys who seriously think the Earth is flat. There are people who believe in Qanon and that the Covid vaccine is inserting microchips into our bloodstream.

Sound crazy? Well yeah, so does black pill stuff to normal people. But if you go to these subs you will get plenty of evidence that black pill and incel shit is true and real. The thing is, I can give you a million and a half proofs that show the exact opposite and you won't believe a cent of it. Mostly because black pill stuff allows you to be off the hook and not bear any responsibility for your sex life.

Un_D · 2022-09-16T23:56:55+00:00

I just don't talk to women much nowadays and ignore all the disgusted looks and "funny" jokes about my height. Got used to being short.

berttbeans996 · 2022-09-17T02:17:33+00:00

How tall are you?

Impossible_Ad9586 · 2022-09-17T17:29:21+00:00

I’m 5ft8 and honestly I get loads of women. A lot of guys look for excuses to why they aren’t successful instead of making a change and improving on themselfs. Theirs 6ft4 men who don’t get a look in with women because they are playing video games all day. This still doesn’t stop them from also being incel and blaming women for why they don’t get a look in.

FrancoDownUnder · 2022-09-19T13:13:05+00:00

What’s the saying locus of control and play with the cards you are dealt with . being 5’9 is average height , can’t stop the alleged 80% of women only looking at the top and tall 20% what they think want, lots average suitors around , there loss not mine

FrancoDownUnder · 2022-09-19T13:15:04+00:00

Dad bods means average joes not too vain to worry how they scrub up

rafaman777 · 2022-09-22T00:26:11+00:00

5’5 Asian man here. I’m 42 been happily married for 10 years with a loyal very feminine woman. Grew up in a Western country where height difference was obvious. I had consistent girlfriends before my 30s and getting married and dated women outside my culture from Latin America and Arabic women. I have glasses and started balding at 26. I could have had million excuses but I lived my life. Women are just people and they aren’t perfect but who is. Life is about giving and loving. If you want conflict and care only about yourself you will receive exactly that. I still have insecurities about being short but thoughts come and go and I don’t take them seriously. I spent most of my 20s living in boxing gyms fighting these inner insecurities. I’m not afraid physically on anyone anymore after training for 17 years after sparring all types. Just a regular guy here, height becomes a massive issue if you want it to be. Whatever we resist persists.

Egibson89 · 2022-10-29T12:06:07+00:00

My bf is 5’5 and we split all the bills. We’re both middle class. Lots of women will fuck with the short kings.

The height thing is like how when ur young u want a girl with double D’s.. or a gigantic ass. Do u actually care? No and as u get older it seems more and more stupid.

And the 30 yr old men still only care about dating girls with double Ds.. are shallow and immature.

Same with height. It’s immature and as u get older you See it’s dumb and nonsense. If you don’t you’re a loser. There are girls mature enough now, don’t give up.

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