I guess looks are almost everything when it comes to dating

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2024-12-26T17:51:31+00:00

Look, you keep calling it "cold approach", indicating that you are using a system, likely the redpill. That just does not work. If you talk to previous generations and how they met strangers, you will notice they make no reference to "DHV" or other such nonsense meant to sound legitimate to constantly online people. Memorizing a bunch of lines, for a script that just never occurs, is not great.

Your friend is good looking, and yeah, that helps. It sounds like he is also confident and not self pitying though, and he can probably actually hold a conversation. That last sentence works better than memorizing dialogue.

I also admit: reading about how you seem to be all jealous of your friend instead of building him up? Not exactly flattering. The fact that you see this as a zero sum game is the problem. Look, unless he is intentionally talking over you or trying to shut you out of conversations, then you are the problem .

Also, dump the "cold approach" jargon mindset. Just talk to people. And know when it's time to make a graceful exit. Calling it "cold approach" is cringy.

cabsmom2020 · 2024-12-26T20:28:40+00:00

You're assuming a lot from what I read. If you think his height is the key, you'll go around with a chip on your shoulder that will affect every interaction you have with women. Men of varying heights date all the time. Short men get dates, relationships, and get married.

Also, not hanging around a friend because he is getting attention from women is jealousy and also not good for you moving forward.

I used to be painfully shy, and my best friend was the opposite. He looks were comparable to mine and maybe slightly lower. She always had a bf or dates. She always flirted with men... of varying looks. She was confident and funny, and that was what men were attracted to.

Fast forward, I'm more confident and friendly and funny. I'm also 30 years older than back then and fatter... by quite a bit. Guess what, I flirt, and go on dates and have men hit on me.

I was never jealous of her ability. I was intrigued by it and learned from it.

So, in short. You can choose-

Go around thinking negatively and continue on this path.
Look at life in a more positive way and stop being jealous and open up to better possibilities

TypicalProfit8475 · 2024-12-26T20:30:35+00:00

Dating is not a numbers game, it’s about finding someone to connect with, spend time with, and love and be loved by them building a future together. Cold approaching sounds like the worst way to meet someone who you might connect with long term. Hell, even online dating has bio’s. Also, why are you trying to turn this into a competition?

xvszero · 2024-12-26T16:30:34+00:00

Cold approaches are the dumbest way to try to date.

No one said looks don't matter you're just jumping to an extreme.

There is no need for "strategies" but being open and assertive (without being creepy) can make a big difference.

glenn_ganges · 2024-12-26T22:07:03+00:00

I have zero doubt you take this poor me attitude into your interactions with women. They can smell it a mile away.

The difference is he probably doesn't.

Just this whole "only looks matter" just reeks of insecurity.

GoAskAli · 2024-12-29T03:00:06+00:00

"cold approach."

Dude....you're still in way too deep.

oldcousingreg · 2024-12-26T19:21:05+00:00

Clearly this guy was doing something to get those girls’ attention. Or maybe he’s got one of those charming, sociable personalities. How were they interacting? Did he buy them drinks or something? That’s what works. Looks are secondary.

QueenPeachie · 2024-12-29T06:31:45+00:00

Holding onto a handshake for a full minute is pretty aggressive is meant to trigger a 'fawn' response. So gross.

Red_Trapezoid · 2024-12-26T18:19:50+00:00

Looks and presentation are extremely important.

“Just be yourself” is incomplete advice. It should be “be the BEST VERSION of yourself”.

Women can be very observant. Did you have a sweaty, anxious vibe? Were you musty? Do you floss? Dirty shoes? How is your posture? We don’t know anything about you. But you do sound very insecure from your post, which is understandable, no harsh judgement, you’re on the exredpill sub after all. People tend to not like insecure, anxious, desperate vibes. Girls just want to have fun isn’t just a song. They want a good time, not a dreary time. Also most guys DO NOT have any dress sense at all, so if that’s you, you will really not have any luck cold approaching.

For all you know, those women felt awkward and uncomfortable and have absolutely no interest in meeting with your peer. Or maybe yes. He may be extremely charismatic. Height doesn’t matter if someone comes across as creepy, then they’re just an extra scary creep that towers over them. Height really isn’t that much of a factor at all.

From what I understand, potential partners tend to like noticeable height difference, but there is such a thing as too tall. People are all kinds of different heights and you will certainly be able to find a “match”. There are some women who do seem to fetishize a specific measurement in terms of height but these women are weird and you do not want them in your life.

Cold approaching is also not the best way, arguably it’s the worst way, unless you’ve REALLY got it going on and 99% of men don’t. You’re better off networking through friends and making a good name for yourself by being a regular somewhere.

Acrobatic-Tree-3749 · 2024-12-29T07:43:43+00:00

Its all about personality!

But when you dont have one, physical apparence help temporarily!

000_TheSilencedNuke · 2025-01-02T23:09:06+00:00

The amount of bad answers you’re receiving should be illegal

CharlerBubbenstein · 2024-12-29T13:46:58+00:00

Have you tried been attractive and not unattractive?

Soft-Neat8117 · 2024-12-26T16:11:57+00:00

If you don't look like a male model, cold approaches and online dating likely won't work for you.

Try to meet women through your social group. If you don't have one, make one. It will make it easier for your personality to shine through will cold approaches and online dating are almost entirely predicted on looks, which you do not have.

And pursue women who are in your league. If you're ugly, pursue ugly women. If you're fat, pursue fat women. If you're poor...well, I don't know what to do there since many poor women don't want poor men. And so on and so on.

If you aren't attracted to women in your league, you must either improve your looks, income, education, fashion, etc. (because you probably don't like yourself as you are if you're not attracted to women who look and act like you) or accept that you'll be single for life.

keep37 · 2024-12-26T15:41:48+00:00

If you’re not that handsome, don’t cold approach. You can, but don’t rely on it. Your friend likely was more attractive than you. The dating market is a market, you need to provide value, and your soulmates are your ideal customers. You just need to find them.

theasianplayboy · 2024-12-26T17:33:37+00:00

I went through something similar, but in my case (5’5 Asian) I had 3 good looking white wingmen: hip hop dancer, European male model, and body builder.

I ended up with those guys because I had practiced game so much that I was literally better than the 99% of other wingmen I had auditioned. Almost none of them could keep up with me and hold down a set.

Except for those three guys. They all had some sort of expertise they concentrated on in addition to their looks (cocky & funny, direct, comfort game respectively) but it would definitely get demoralizing after a while.

I practiced way more than three (4-6) nights a week while they were getting more results. Eventually I started switching up styles that I started reaching some sort of parity with them.

It took a while, but by winging with better looking guys, it forced me to up my game constantly. One dude I winged with on occasion was what women would consider a perfect male model 10. Literally girls would just approach him constantly. It was crazy.

But I took that as an opportunity to increase my skills in winging and isolating the other girls for myself.

It ended up working out well when I did a EuroTour and on the first day achieved romantic success and kept on being successful. My white bros were too, but it was the same success rate as they had in the U.S. It wasn’t any different.

But for me it was an exponential increase. It was then that I realized that my constant practice had clearly overtaken them. But it was existing in an environment that racism wasn’t being used against me and me seeing the external validation which reinforced my internal belief system that really supercharged things for me.

When I came back, my external skillset now matched my internal belief system.

Which is all just to say, use this as an opportunity to improve yourself with a wing as it’s better to have a wing that can hold down their own conversation versus wings who are constantly taking, will stab you in the back, or can’t hold down a basic conversation.

Reframe it as an opportunity, not an obstacle.

I also did a video on my learning experience winging with my 3 white bros that includes the good and bad experience of it and what I took away from it all: What My White Friends Taught Me About Dating (That Almost Ruined Me As An Asian Guy)

Reasonable-Guess-663 · 2024-12-31T02:14:14+00:00

Yeah. They are. The cats out of the bag, and has been for awhile. Particularly for women 18-25, somtimes up till 30.

Looks don't matter "AS MUCH" when women are 28-35 and looking for a life raft. With a 41% divorce rate to boot.

I've slept with 4 women 21-24 this year, as a 28-29yo male. All of them just wanted a ONS/STR for a few weeks. Women don't care about your career/car/house/personality until they're late 20s.

dalen52 · 2024-12-26T16:28:47+00:00

Date his leftovers lol they’ll be jaded and need a rebound

Title	I guess looks are almost everything when it comes to dating
Author	JustAskIt91
Upvotes	16
Comments	95
Date	December 26, 2024 2:54 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1hmpwba/i_guess_looks_are_almost_everything_when_it_comes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-guess-looks-are-almost-everything-when-it-comes.1539552 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539552

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