Stop caring, she starts chasing

HappyRainbowSparkle · 2023-06-03T15:57:36+00:00

I'm completely against playing games if you're interested in someone tell them, I'm not saying being pushy or needy though. I've had guys who were interested in me then moved on or whatever, at no point did I think now I'm interested in them

medlabunicorn · 2023-06-03T18:05:17+00:00

Fuck around and find out. Any person will wonder ‘what’s wrong with my partner’ at first, if they start to seem distant. They’ll try to help and fix things because they love that person. But, eventually, they’ll either figure out the game or give up, and then they’ll move on.

xvszero · 2023-06-03T17:52:41+00:00

I would have no interest in playing dumb games to get someone interested in me. I can't imagine it would be a good start to a solid relationship.

Naus1987 · 2023-06-03T18:55:59+00:00

It’s typically a sign of immaturity. Especially if a person is chasing and they don’t even realize it. Those kinds of people need to stay far away from me, because I don’t want to deal with their drama and baggage.

A person who doesn’t understand their emotions is always going to be baggage.

—-

Red pill is right that crazy people do crazy stuff. And you certainly can find trends in the madness. But ultimately we’re still talking about manipulation, and people who are easily manipulated make really bad partners. So again, they can stay far away from me lol.

No_Jelly_6635 · 2023-06-03T16:48:33+00:00

This is down to attachment style and emotional maturity. Some men behave the same way as well.

mikayrodr · 2023-06-03T18:27:54+00:00

If someone feels secure and comfortable so they relax and take down their walls with you and then you withdrawal of course they’re going to express interest because they’ll wonder why you’re doing that and what they did wrong. Sometimes people aren’t “less interested” they’ve just stopped putting on an act or they’re stressed about other parts of their lives.

GlassOfSkimMilf · 2023-06-03T16:54:09+00:00

(I'm recovering from a broken attachment and was a "pick me" if that helps you see my frame of reference). I'm a woman and I fell for this a lot and still sorta still do. After some soul searching, I found that this toxic 'idea' stems from not really knowing all the variables to the situation and trying to stich together a conclusion to the behaviours with limited info.

In my case it was because I was taught to not push him too hard for sex and attention. If I pushed too hard, then I would lose him because I was pushy. I used to be a really big lover. I looooved pleasing my men, making them good food, etc. However, when I had my own coach, they told me that I can't give him "too much" love and attention and I needed to dial it back.

After that, I sorta swung to the other side and became too dismissive even though inside I really still wanted to love him big (yay, retraining ourself! /s). This caused them to think that I was too dismissive and some later told me they thought it was because I didn't want them even when I did. I think this kind of mind game can cause a lot of upset from miscommunication.

I also would 'chase' because I was also in therapy and was trying to heal myself in private without him knowing (I didn't want them to know, so I shamefully hid my recovery). I believed that I was too focused on my recovery and not enough on him, so if he dialed it back, I got too worried that I wasn't giving him enough of my affection and attention.

These kind of games just cause a lot of unnecessary hurt because we never really know why someone is not giving enough attention. Sometimes they're struggling with things and not opening up and to make them 'chase' you when other things are falling part can be really hurtful. I totally get that some women need this garbage, but most don't. :/

BishonenPrincess · 2023-06-03T23:55:17+00:00

I think it's a sign of immaturity, I don't care about the gender.

Either you care, or you don't.

If you only start acting like you care because you're worried you're going to lose something, it was more about control than anything else anyway.

I understand that life can be a bit more nuanced, but it's a red flag for me.

carritotaquito · 2023-06-03T21:33:03+00:00

I never chase men. EVER!!

KingKunta2-D · 2023-06-04T07:09:58+00:00

There is a lot of cap in this comment section. If it's worth chasing you'll Chase it. Please. I'm not agreeing with Op. Girls who play within that game are childish. If woman doesn't want you... She's not going to want you more if you stop texting her she's a grown woman. This tactic should not work on grown women

Raging_Dragon_9999 · 2023-06-04T09:15:31+00:00

It can also be that guys offer too much "pressure" and the lack of pressure means the woman feels she can actually make invitations to the guy on her own.

Highland60 · 2023-06-04T23:39:30+00:00

Don't be needy available clingy. Be busy with your own life achieving what you want. That may help build some interest from a woman. Try to have options so you aren't focusing everything on one woman. Guys will never have as many options as woman always have but it's a good aspiration. But in the end, no matter how much or little chasing you do, how much you are achieving, some women with just pick abusive jerks because they love chaos in their lives

Remandergrowth · 2023-06-05T23:48:32+00:00

I think this is true, but again, red pill and sayings exaggerate things. I also dislike how gendered this is when, in reality, this works for both genders.

People need space to find you attractive. If you are smothering a girl texting her every day trying to hang out every weekday, you scare her away. Being clingy makes it hard for people to like you.
She isn't chasing, but now that you have reduced your output, she will seek you when she wants you. It's the same with male friendships. My male friends started to like me and invite me to stuff a whole lot more when I became less clingy.

SilverTango · 2023-06-13T07:26:19+00:00

I lose interest when a guy doesn't show interest in me. It is a turn off.

sturgeo123 · 2023-06-21T02:27:03+00:00

There’s some truth there but also if u stop caring then u stop caring… Like if u think the key to a healthy relationship is to force urself to not care about the other person that’s a silly strategy

Title	Stop caring, she starts chasing
Author	Upset_Grade6964
Upvotes	5
Comments	22
Date	June 3, 2023 3:51 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/13zguul/stop_caring_she_starts_chasing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/stop-caring-she-starts-chasing.1221180 https://theredarchive.com/post/1221180

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