What are some good ways for a guy whose not used to seeing himself as sexually attractive to get sexual validation?

DanMarinosDolphins · 2022-05-19T08:38:47+00:00

Men really just don't get attention like that even when they're attractive. Usually only exceptionally attractive men get actual obvious female attention. And that's because most women will not reveal an interest in your appearance that quickly, they won't tip their cards unless they evaluate your looks as so exceptional that they're willing to risk it.

I'd say the best way is to have female friendships. Platonic friendships. Women compliment each other and boost each other's feelings about their appearance constantly. Calling each other beautiful etc. I always tell my friends and family when I'm admiring their appearance that day and I think it's nice to cultivate that kind of environment

Neil1398 · 2022-05-19T12:01:06+00:00

I’d avoid trying to get any sexual validation or validation in general right now. I gotta be honest man, all that shit feels good but it’s gonna fuck with any relationship you get in.

How I know? It happened to me.

You can read my post from on here a few weeks ago but that’s what happened to me. I feel like you, attractive, I go to the gym, I got money, nice apt, and have been with a bunch of girls who I have gotten complimented by. And when my girl didn’t want to have sex with me because she was on her meds that lowered her libido, I felt I could try to turn her on. When I failed to I’d get angry internally and in turn instead of showing my emotions, I’d just flip it on her and make her feel bad. Terrible right.

You may not act out like that, but since you’re so concerned about sexual validation, imagine how you will act when you don’t get it.

You’re probably not gonna listen to this answer at all, and I probably wouldn’t if I was in you’re position. I suspect you’re the type of guy that has to live through things to really understand at least that was me.

I’d read advice like this and be like “but this person experienced everything I like to experience but he’s telling me it’s not good for me. Fuck it, I still wanna go down the rabbit hole”. Then everytime I realized it wasn’t the answer although I learned a fuck ton about myself.

Find real internal validation. If you do you’ll never need external. Because external validation does nothing but give you a small lil high and you go back to you’re baseline. Which is whatever you feel internally.

Imagine if you get a gf and she doesn’t give you that external validation, you’re gonna be feeling insecure, which turns women off. Just focus on you’re own validation.

To add on a bit, we all need confidence in something. How you really gonna be confident and have sexual confidence if you never had sex. It’s not built on anything. If I feel like I have no sex appeal I could look back on my reference experiences and remember that I do. I guess it’s really just a process, but you should build it up for real by just accepting where you are right now a virgin.

I was bad at sex when I first started and got cut off a lot, now I get cut off but before that they say “that was better than usual” or my bed sheets are drenched. Or I can feel them orgasming. Shit like that.

You want real validation just go talk to woman and see how they react to you. That’s bad because you’re looking for approval from them but at least that gets you closer to where you wanna go than just posting pics online, where anybody could say anything and maybe even lower you’re view on yourself.

xvszero · 2022-05-19T17:05:13+00:00

Well. To be honest, unless you're a specific type of guy (I dunno, someone who has ABS or something), random women online probably aren't going to have much to say about your body. You can get it from specific women you have some connection to (my wife says I have a sexy body all the time), but for whatever reason you think that isn't in your cards anytime soon.

You might be able to get it from gay guys, but I'm not sure that is what you're looking for here.

Still, I could be wrong. Maybe there are communities out there where men can get this kind of validation. But overall I feel like you're barking up the wrong tree a bit, based on a misunderstanding of how female sexuality actually works.

Naus1987 · 2022-05-19T14:57:23+00:00

If you want to experience social validation then produce content for people to consume. Then they’ll review it positively.

What this probably means is to create YouTube content or write a book.

I mean heck, even heart throbs like movie actors don’t get recognized much outside of what they produce. The secret to life is to produce stuff!

It’s also cynical in the way that people only value what you can offer them. So get out there and offer content to the world!

mammajess · 2022-05-19T07:34:07+00:00

I love your ideas and think you should 100% do it. Men are BEAUTIFUL and they should really show it off more. I feel so sad when I see men on the internet acting like men are gross and only women can enjoy their own beauty. It makes men so jealous and angry and gives them ideas that the world is unfair to them when often it is mostly them getting in their own way when it comes to self love (which is true for women too, only we can take actions to increase self love).

Comfortable_Brush932 · 2022-05-19T07:19:19+00:00

Do you find yourself sexy?

vcreativ · 2022-05-19T08:50:38+00:00

I find myself attractive and definitely would fuck myself if I swung that way

Since that's literally straight out of American Psycho I am really hoping that's a joke.

Slight_Fig5187 · 2022-05-20T01:12:08+00:00

The things you describe are totally unappealing to most women. If you feel the need to do them, go ahead, but your success rate among women will be extremely low.

SadBox4529 · 2022-05-21T08:15:39+00:00

Wait till that sexual validation from the girl turns into hatred, it’s like you didn’t even date the same person. You’ll end up bitter if you go down this route just don’t.

Title	What are some good ways for a guy whose not used to seeing himself as sexually attractive to get sexual validation?
Author	JerriLaMan
Upvotes	17
Comments	116
Date	May 19, 2022 6:01 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/uswqf8/what_are_some_good_ways_for_a_guy_whose_not_used/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/what-are-some-good-ways-for-a-guy-whose-not-used.1119394 https://theredarchive.com/post/1119394

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