When I pass women irl

Healthy_Television10 · 2024-05-24T01:50:56+00:00

I feel like so many young men take their heartbreak or their difficulty getting a girlfriend at all as a commentary about how they rank among other men. Women do not think of it that way. Women generally see a relationship as only about the dynamics between those two people. A real emotional focus on male hierarchy is typical for men, not women.

But feeling lowly and unworthy is a mental health sign, and I'm sure it's roots go back to childhood.

xvszero · 2024-05-24T02:22:32+00:00

How old are you?

Allusionator · 2024-05-24T03:21:30+00:00

Maybe don’t base your validity as a man on if women you don’t even talk to seem dtf?

Come on man, I’m not saying it’s not real but it’s you vs you here and the women are a prop. Dig deep and get at the real stuff. You need a regular model of masculinity to try and embody. Having your self-worth based on your perceptions of the opinions of others is a recipe to let the depression and negative thoughts dominate your mind.

MrDamojak · 2024-05-24T01:45:11+00:00

Do you have female friends?

bluemagex2517 · 2024-05-24T16:21:34+00:00

Tired of being gaslighted.

You're gaslighting yourself. You're the one assuming all these things about women you haven't talked to.

You have low self esteem and you're projecting that into the world. You're pretending that you can know what women you haven't even met think about you, like a mind reader. Most of these women don't think anything about you one way or another. You're just another person who they don't know and don't think about, the same as most attractive or unattractive people around them.

You sound like you really need mental healthcare. You're seeking external validation to cure an internal feeling of worthlessness. That's not going to work. You've also projected your problems on other men. Most guys don't feel like this. It's only a very vocal minority who do.

You need to find a way out of these thought loops and negative ideas. You need to find a way to build yourself up so that external validation or the lack there of doesn't matter. You either need some serious reflection and change of perspective on your own, or serious therapy including radical honesty with your therapist.

basilikaolivers · 2024-05-27T22:06:19+00:00

It's really cool that you're talking about this. Remember that just knowing this about yourself is a huge thing. A lot of guys feel like this but can't really pinpoint why or what the feeling really is

You're not beneath women. No human being is beneath another. We are all equal, no one is fundamentally worse than someone else

You have value on your own. Your value as a human being is not based on if women approach you or not, it's not based on money or accomplishments

You are just as valuable as anyone else, because again, no human being is less valuable than another. Even if you layed in a starfish position on the ground for the rest of your life and did nothing, you would still be just as valuable. Because you're a human being.

There's a lot of standards that people feel like they have to reach, like having active dating lives, making money etc.

But at the end of the day, none of that matters if it doesn't make you happy. You have a limited time on this earth, this is your life, so you should be the one to choose whatever the hell you want to do with it. It's taken me a lot of time to learn that the only way for me to actually be happy, is to learn how to respect myself, and see myself as equal to everyone else

Focus on things you actually like, that are not dependent on you "accomplishing" something. Simple things like movies or shows you like, video games, etc. If you feel like you don't have anything like this that you actually like, and that there's nothing that makes you happy, then remember: that is not how life is supposed to be. I saw your other comment about the fact that you have depression, and so you probably know that one of the most common signs of depression is feeling like you don't enjoy anything anymore

I'm in a similar boat, I'm currently struggling with depression and it's so hard to have faith sometimes that life will get better, but it WILL. Depression is a mental illness, it's not how your brain is supposed to be/will be forever

Sorry for making this hella long, but to wrap it up, I think it's really important that you try to dig into the root of your problems, which is not you, or the fact that you are a man, or any other trait of yours. The root of your problems is the fact that you feel worthless and like you're less worthy/beneath other people. That is not something anyone should feel.

I think every single person who was been sucked into the manosphere needs to hear this: Focus on yourself. Don't let other people tell you what you need to do or be in order to be worth something. You should not feel worthless, no matter who you are or what your life is like. Realise your value, learn to be friends with yourself, find out or create new interests and allow yourself to like what you like. And I'm not talking about "realising your value as a man". No. Realising your value as YOU. As a living, breathing, human being who deserves to be happy, just like everyone else. Constantly trying to prove yourself to other people by chasing women etc. will never make you happy, it's an endless race, there is no achievable goal

(And, even though I'm trying to convey that the point of your life isn't to become "succesful" with women, if you know you want a relationship at some point, the real way to actually find that is by focusing on yourself first, and getting to a point where your happiness is not dependent on anything that could be taken away)

notaslaaneshicultist · 2024-05-29T19:18:22+00:00

What's the ex got that you dont?

EntertainmentHot3800 · 2024-06-08T10:48:31+00:00

As a woman, let me just say that you are NOT beneath us. You are a human being like the rest of us

Nuclearwaifu · 2024-06-10T08:17:01+00:00

Then you need to work in yourself and put yourself first. Also i‘d tell u to get women friends also but first and foremost u need to learn to actually be confident in yourself before you jump into a relationship cause if you seek out other people to fill your feelings of inadequacy with approval or validation you‘ll never be whole. It starts with you. And part of that is both accepting that this is a problem and that you deserve better than to be your own worst bully. Cause u can‘t break up with yourself so stop chasing bandaids in relationships and start learning to carry yourself like you care about yourself. Be that by talking to yourself in the mirror, picturing your child self in your mind and apologizing to him for being such a mean person to yourself, and generally just catching negative self talk when it happens. What many ppl. Don‘t notice for example is that the idea of „it‘s silly to tell myself I like myself or love myself“ in itself is part of the negative self image. Cause u think u don‘t deserve it. But you do. Cause it is your body, your temple and you get to be the diety sitting in it. Not some rude misguided kid trying to echo what he‘s learned from other cynical people around him. You carry yourself. And so you need to learn to do yourself justice. Cause u owe it to yourself. Cause only when you are a stable person content with yourself is when you can have a good relationship with someone. You don‘t have to be perfect ofc but being cripplingly insecure is a recipe for disaster. And don‘t expect a seitch over night. Be patient and kind to yourself. Cause u deserve that. And u deserve to be content in yourself also.

Title	When I pass women irl
Author	BreakNecessary6940
Upvotes	18
Comments	67
Date	May 24, 2024 1:35 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1cz9dn8/when_i_pass_women_irl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/when-i-pass-women-irl.1519351 https://theredarchive.com/post/1519351

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