"3 thing we were taught that we should not teach our girls: Virginity as a value; Marriage as goal; Maternity as destiny"

DancingCatflower · 2021-11-25T01:47:02+00:00

Latina here: our countries are sexist as fuck and there's still a long way to go to be free from this bullshit, but I guess baby steps count too :(

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2021-11-24T17:45:07+00:00

This is basically why so many women here have made bad choices. They value virginity so they over invested in their first sexual partner and or devalue themselves after they have had sex. They're so focused on marriage and motherhood as ultimate goals they choose poor partners for these endeavors because they're impatient or believe fertility lies that are pushed. It's sad.

Waste-Win · 2021-11-24T21:39:43+00:00

I agree, they tell you to stay "pure", marry some dude and become a baby factory, this can't be the goal. You have the right over your sexuality, as long as you respect yourself and engage in sexual relationships with people that respect you, everything is fine.

Just like we need to stop telling girls to get married, let girl grow to discover their passions and make their dreams come true if they happen to find a good man then they can get marry, just like maternity is not sth "you have to do" or sth "you were born to do" it's a choice.

afrodeasyak · 2021-11-25T04:39:07+00:00

Basically how we were raised. I don't recall ever being explicitly told these things but they were so heavily implied in culture and religion, they just became the standard. Ironically, I was aware that virginity was a social construct to control women, I wanted a marriage that we rooted in actual partnership and never wanted kids so jokes on them.

lansburysoda · 2021-11-24T19:30:45+00:00

The sad thing is that even if your parents don’t teach you this, society will. Existing in the present milieu is enough to teach a woman that her sole value is her body. Even as we’re taught that education and finances are important—it’s hard to negate or override this programming. Especially when it comes to marriage and children. I think it’s totally “normal” to want a partner and children but we’re taught to be subservient bangmaids in doing so—which doesn’t need to be the case

Mighty_Wombat42 · 2021-11-25T03:12:48+00:00

This is a great message for how to make sure we’re not exposing younger girls to the same harmful messages we were told.

While I think there are good reasons to be selective with partners and wait to have sex, the focus should be on consistently setting boundaries for your own comfort, not on virginity, because it’s perfectly fine to want your first time to be special but it’s also fine to want the rest of the times to be special too! Let’s take the emphasis off of whether we’ve been with other men, and put it on vetting for partners who respect us and prioritize our pleasure and wellbeing.

degnan1214 · 2021-11-24T20:14:31+00:00

Que feo. (Translation: How ugly.) That's all the Spanish I can muster. (I'm an intermediate Spanish student.)

So pathetic. Fortunately, at least based on the Mexican telenovelas I watch (currently trying to catch up with "Vencer el pasado") there is some pushback. At least in media.

"Vencer el pasado" is a telenovela about women overcoming BS from scrotey men. One girl is the victim of revenge porn. Another had her brilliant scientific idea stolen by her scrotey ex-fiance. Another is an ambitious businesswoman whose father wants her to marry a peer's son, have kids, and let her husband run the father's business instead of her. Yet another is a middle-aged woman who has a shameless cheating husband. (Previews show her upgrading to a younger and MUCH hotter guy! Yay!) I'm looking forward to this show because it's tackling femnist issues head-on and looks to have a promising ending. And then there's Sebastian Rulli.

(If anyone is watching this show, please don't tell me spoilers as I'm about 20 episodes behind, lol.) Anyway, at least on Latin American television, there is SOMETHING positive. But I don't know how it is 'on the street' so to speak.

slayeroftruth · 2021-11-24T19:52:26+00:00

I agree. Valuing virginity for man is wrong. Valuing virginity for yourself is not.

xfelugirlx · 2021-11-25T11:08:37+00:00

Yes. Stop putting in little girls mind that they need a scrote man to be “happy” or full in this life. I see so many women giving all for one man that won’t gave them sht or are abusive/ narcissist but they prefer that to be alone and in peace.

They are more important things in life than marry some dude and getting divorced with two children, live your life like it’s the last day

CoconutJasmineBombe · 2021-11-25T01:20:11+00:00

Childfree would have a field day with this. Destiny?!?!?!!!

hensbanex · 2021-11-24T15:26:40+00:00

are you saying these are good lessons? this is just repackaged conservative purity rhetoric.

Averyhvw · 2021-11-24T16:35:12+00:00

We shouldn’t rate someone’s morality on whether they’re a virgin. But I think it’s a libfem slippery slope to say virginity has no value.

Title	"3 thing we were taught that we should not teach our girls: Virginity as a value; Marriage as goal; Maternity as destiny"
Author	GlitteryMoss
Upvotes	633
Comments	27
Date	November 24, 2021 3:13 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/r17fc9/3_thing_we_were_taught_that_we_should_not_teach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/3-thing-we-were-taught-that-we-should-not-teach.1086772 https://theredarchive.com/post/1086772

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