If you're like me, you might have noticed that sometimes a man's attractive superficial characteristics can cloud your judgment of their value. For example, let's say I really like guys who play Soccer. Or I'm super into doctors. Or maybe it's something as simple as being highly attracted to men who have blond hair and green eyes.
These things are as good as meaningless when it comes to assessing a man's character and value. However, when someone seems to "check all your boxes," it can become tempting to subconsciously write off red flags. Here's a very simple exercise I run through when I need to objectively evaluate a man's behavior:
Let's say I've found a blond, green-eyed, soccer playing doctor. We'll call him Brian. Brian seems great... at first. He's funny and intelligent. Never fails to pick up a tab. But then you start to notice occasionally he catches an attitude. Maybe he sometimes texts during your dates. He once stated an ignorant opinion on the way to dinner and it just doesn't sit right with you. Your rational brain knows this guy is low value at best, but your stupid, clueless heart wonders where you're ever going to find another unicorn like this.
I need to see Brian without all the superfluous bullshit. Separate what he does from who he is. He could lose his medical license, break both his legs, and go blind and bald tomorrow, after all.
So... I imagine Brian as a brown-haired, brown-eyed, tennis-playing accountant and ask myself this: would you put up with his bullshit now? Is Brian special now?
In my case, I found out the answer was usually a resounding "FUCK NO" and my attraction to the "Brian" is instantly killed.
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