I just went through the thread on the best and worst cities for HVM and I wasn't surprised to see that pretty much every comment said the same thing - abundance of LVM. That's simply the way the world is, I feel, and different cities won't change that. Especially with cultural hegemony, it seems like most big cities are practically the same in terms of composition (I live in a big city very far away from any of the places mentioned in the thread yet all the responses resonated with me). Globalisation means that most of the large metropolises in developed countries (and some developing!) consist of a very similar population barring a few quirks of course.

Maybe its more useful to discuss WHERE, within these cities we can find these men. This, I think is more useful, because its not easy to travel to different cities for the sake of finding a HVM. Plus, as evidenced by the thread, doesn't seem the right strategy to begin with. Instead, what are the spaces WITHIN where we live where we can find HVM?

My two cents:

Universities and academics - filled with LVM too, no doubt, but I think the fact that men studying Liberal arts / social sciences have a generally better level of awareness of social inequality does allow for more HVM to flourish there. This however, may not be everyone's cup of tea. I personally hold good values as more important than financial stability. I would trust a highly educated man doing his PhD, who is aware of discourses around feminism to be more likely to be a HVM than someone who earns a lot of money being a businessman.

Men who are comfortable in spaces traditionally dominated by women - Again, this may appear to be a LVM tactic to find more women to fuck, but there are truly a decent number of men here who are genuinely interested in women's activities and may have more empathy + better understanding of women's issues.

Artists - Again, another trap set by lots of LVM claiming that you (read: your naked body) are their "muse", etc. But I have met some genuinely empathetic and HVM men in this space - the trick is to find out which artists they admire and what kind of art they consume. If they celebrate women's work, and appreciate its value, they have high potential for being HVM. My friend's relationship is a good example of this - he's a writer / filmmaker who is empathetic, kind, very in sync with her, actually revels in being a provider for her and wants to be there for her. I see him talk about her and realise that's what I want. She's a very HVW as well, and she knows she has a fantastic relationship.

A surprising addition to this list : Younger men. We may disparage the youth, but the younger men have grown up with gender equality more ingrained within them, as well as a willingness to learn and be shaped by the women around them. Older men are far more stuck in their ways. One of the men I'm seeing is slightly younger than me, and he is by far the most HVM I've met. He may not earn as much money as the others, but he is kind, thoughtful, caring, extremely willing to listen and change, and will never once question my opinion on my experiences. He takes care of me without being asked, and genuinely respects and admires me. Of course, it helps that he's in peak physical fitness and knows the importance of maintaining it.

Of course, I think through this it is evident that my conception of a HVM may not necessarily tick all the boxes FDS has listed. However, I think it may be a good start!

I'll add more if I think of it. Would love to hear your thoughts and your additions! Especially women who are currently with HVM - where did you find him, what does he do?