It is great seeing men beginning to advocate against porn (something women have been railing against this whole time, and men are finally starting to catch up) and refuse to view it, but take note of WHY men don’t watch it.

Every anti-porn man I have met or heard from cites that they are quitting porn because it is bad for THEM. It is doing long-term damage to their brain, their wiring, their sexual function — all true and all valid reasons to quit, but... I have not seen a single anti-porn man cite the damage it does to women, the abuse, assault, rape, and trafficking the women experience in the porn they watch, as a reason they quit. I have never seen them acknowledge the objectification of women nor the normalization of misogynistic-based violence it perpetuates. Whenever I have brought this up to anti-porn men, they immediately backpedal and begin DEFENDING PORN AGAIN. They refuse to even acknowledge the institutional violence it entails and they deny it so much they start to actually defend porn again. It is mind-boggling because it is every porn-free man I speak to about this. Men will go to great lengths to refuse to acknowledge misogyny, even if it means reversing their previously-held beliefs solely so they can continue to deny their part as a contributor and benefactor from violence against women.

Don’t let the lack of porn consumption fool you, because these are still not HV males. We don’t pat alcoholics on the back for quitting drinking if their only reason to quit is liver failure, while they refuse to acknowledge the abuse they did to others while intoxicated.

Seems that (as so often happens) when men do something good, they do it only for the benefit of themselves. As an FDS rule, a potential partner should be porn free, but that alone is not enough. Is he porn-free only for his own benefit, or does he care about women, too?

Not to mention some men think that quitting masturbation gives them superpowers, and some other absurd reasons I have seen men cite why they quit… ladies I know it is so difficult to find a man that doesn’t consume porn but don’t take that at face value, you need to dig into why. If he won’t acknowledge the trauma experienced by women victimized by porn and he only quit to help his erectile dysfunction, NEXT HIM. Actions are important, but so are intentions.

ETA: Defending men that don’t use porn but also refuse to acknowledge the harm it does to women with the “it’s better than nothing / you have to start somewhere” is A. settling, B. pickme behavior by throwing the women victimized by the porn industry under the bus, and C. coddling men by accepting misogyny under the “it could be worse” excuse. STOP DEFENDING MEN. Refusing to acknowledge misogyny is misogyny (and LV behavior). HVW do not defend LV behavior. Men know better.