Bisexual queens - what does FDS mean for you?

Alpinepotatoes · 2021-09-14T03:32:31+00:00

I think it really helps put things in perspective, honestly. Dating both men and women has helped me become more aware of specific things that are issues with men, issues with people in general, and issues that I personally bring to the table. (Some women are shitty too but I haven’t really noticed a consistent set of pervasive issues with the ways women treat other women in relationships)

In general, I think it’s been freeing. Women have raised the bar so thoroughly and taught me so much about what it means to be in a partnership. Even my long term relationships with really good guys have honestly paled in comparison to the level of care and attention I’ve received from women.

I still consider myself bi, but I now understand that seeking out men isn’t really worth the effort and no longer put much effort into dating them. Like sure there are diamonds in the rough and I am so happy for all the women here who have found their high value men but why should I put energy into that when I could throw a stone and struggle to not hit a woman who is likely to be authentic, caring, and empathetic, even if they aren’t my perfect match? Dating will always be tough but my breakups with women often end in a respectful parting of ways over personality differences, if not friendship.

My current long term partner, a woman, is quite frankly in a league of her own and I can’t imagine ever settling for less again.

Conturas · 2021-09-14T07:54:53+00:00

I have stronger sexual desire for women. I've been a terrible pickme towards them wile being queen towards men.

FDS has changed my views. It has made increased my self awareness and other awareness.

I have stopped idolizing women. I hold them the same standards as men now.

I've started to see red flags/signs of LV among queer culture: A lot cluster B personality disorder behavior which I'm gonna avoid from now on instead of "understanding".

Some specific red flags inside the community:

Misleading (self-)identity. Like "I'm a lesbian, but I have a male lover" is a huge red flag.

Have externalized their identity work, needs constant validation/validation from everybody, believes in word magic (these are usually combined).

Feels victimized all the time. Thinks everyone else should prioritize their problems instead of their own. Unable to see everybody's struggling.

Thesseli · 2021-09-14T00:44:13+00:00

Dating men makes straight women miserable too.

ussr_ftw · 2021-09-14T03:41:08+00:00

Being bisexual and choosing to only date women is more common than you think - they're called febfems. look it up!

shedipity · 2021-09-14T01:37:04+00:00

i always thought i was straight, then i had a few boyfriends and was convinced i was actually lesbian. now i realised i’m just bisexual and there’s almost no HV men where i live so i literally became turned off by them completely. FDS has helped my be safe in my life yet vet any potential female partners as well as male, but i’ve learned a lot about self love and being happy single here and that’s all i’m focusing on ♥️

Muffcakelord · 2021-09-14T00:16:12+00:00

In short; my first love was a girl and she made me realize how much of an unhealthy view i had of myself and women in general where i saw myself as having zero worth and women as superhuman beings. FDS helps me see that women are real humans, and that i'm no less worth than the rest. Relationships with men has been relatively easy for me in the sense that i saw them as sub-human (like i saw myself), but after constant growth and with a big help of FDS it's much easier to set standards and feel more like a human and less like an excuse within straight relationships as well.

I still feel like i wouldn't be worthy of chasing a woman but i have been asking women out on platonic dates before and that's really all one need to do to seek relations, at least with women. FDS also made me realize that i should set the standard for however i treat women + more, for example have i never even imagined not paying for the platonic dates i've initiated and romantic dates are even more serious. I used to make excuses for low effort and i probably still do, but i believe i am much better at demanding whatever i would supply another woman with.

Regarding choosing one gender; i don't believe strict filters like that to be ideal. Women are generally harder to catch so it's only natural to pay more effort towards them to have a chance, but vetting men as well might leave you pleasantly surprised one day even though it logistically means trashing 100 assholes before finding someone potentially good. The most important is to never forget your worth

hotdiggitywater · 2021-09-14T00:35:13+00:00

I've never actually dated a woman but I've dabbled in ... Stuff.
So I'm attracted to them but I've never felt the same spark enough to enter an actual relationship. I've had plenty of male relationships and honestly most of them have ended poorly. Not just regular break ups, but with huge smashing dishes fights and cheating or them abusing me physically and emotionally. Some have ended normally but after months of me scheduling doctors appts for him, organizing bills, cleaning, errands, and packing his lunch daily even though we both work full time. Men too lazy to put their underwear in the laundry.

So. I feel as I've gotten older more and more inclined towards my attraction to women. I guess I'm Bi in my attraction. But also through FDS Ive realized how many women there are who have dealt with my same hetero problems. Which means there are millions more men out there who are LVM.

I have met my share of crazy women, but I feel there are more women who are responsible and handle their own business. I've met many more mature women than I have met mature men. I just want to make babies with someone and not have to raise them first 😂.

So I guess FDS has pushed me further into bisexuality. It also has given me some hope that there are good guys out there- but confirmed I'd have better odds dating women.

Squidwrd_Tortellini · 2021-09-14T08:12:45+00:00

I'm naturally bisexual, and have chosen to operate as a lesbian. if I see a gorgeous man I will find him sexually attractive, but I have no mental or emotional desire to actually have sex with him (or any man). so I just take a second to appreciate his beauty and then move on to the next thought.

however, I don't do casual hookups with women either. I only desire sex in monogamous, committed relationships.

onlyeightfingers · 2021-09-14T00:21:54+00:00

I’m happily married to a HVM and already was when I discovered FDS. For me honestly it’s made me realise that if something happened to my relationship (god forbid) I doubt I would bother re-entering the hetero dating game, I would stick purely within the queer community. It’s kind of a blessing to have that option.

I’m really glad you asked because I’ve been wondering the exact same thing! I can’t wait to see the replies.

hensbanex · 2021-09-14T11:21:26+00:00

if I ever break up with my fiancé I’m intentionally never dating or pursuing men.

CNhuman · 2021-09-14T04:05:42+00:00

I am bi, I've previously dated mostly men.

My family was really weird about me seeing women so I didn't bring them to the family holidays, which felt shitty but I would rather excuse myself and my partner from family parties than go and have her be treated poorly. Anyways, I've had some conversations with my mom (the prime originator of drama and shit talking) and I think she's come around. After my divorce and the abuse that happened with that asshole I'm done dating men.

Now I'm getting my life together and going to therapy, and I hope to find a lovely bi woman to share my life with. 🥰

rbpl · 2021-09-14T00:37:03+00:00

I wish I was Bi. All men suck

East-Willingness513 · 2021-09-14T00:41:07+00:00

I met a HVM and we have a baby together and are trying for another. If something happened to him or between us, I would never date another man again. Maybe it’s because I have a kid now, but I wouldn’t risk letting a man around my children- the risks outweigh the benefits.

Also, I’m more sexually attracted to women but never had the chance to properly date women. Pretty sure I’m a lesbian but have made an exception for my HVM 🤣.

europoor24 · 2021-09-14T03:46:05+00:00

I'm straight but a close friend is bi. She prefers to date men due to wanting to start a family (yes I know about the other options but that's her preference), why would it be a problem to prefer to date one over the other?

Worldly-Efficiency-9 · 2021-09-14T09:18:39+00:00

I’ve always been bisexual but I believe I am turning into a lesbian by choice. I don’t mean to “choose” my sexuality as I don’t think this is something you can choose but quite frankly I feel safer with women in all ways. I dated women and had a girlfriend in the past and then during the past 5 years I have been in serious relationships with two men, and when I compare these two experiences there is just no point of comparison. Men suck.

The worst thing is that because I am bi, I am quite picky with men and I always hold them to high financial and emotional standards and even that way I have still ended up perceiving power imbalances in our dynamics and I even though my two exes were sworn “allies” they both had at times attitudes I consider to be structurally oppressive.

Since I realized that, I’ve started investing more time in being surrounded by women not just in a romantic way but also with friends or at work. My environment is almost purely female now and I have never felt so safe and cared for in my entire life.

Title	Bisexual queens - what does FDS mean for you?
Author	saskiaaxx
Upvotes	116
Comments	22
Date	September 13, 2021 6:40 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pnlkzv/bisexual_queens_what_does_fds_mean_for_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/bisexual-queens-what-does-fds-mean-for-you.1070611 https://theredarchive.com/post/1070611

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